FeeLinGzzZZ

~changkat moment with my ah moi~

2011-12-08T10:42:00.000-08:00

She is my best companion, for girl talk, for shopping, for club, for bar, and a lottt~~~Till now, i found that she is still the best one who can fit me a lot, that's y we go along with each other so well and all..and ya, she is pretty!=)

My ah moi who understand me so much~~love her to bitsss=)))

The cocktail we ordered. Left: cosmopolitan ; Right: Strawberry magarita...We shared them basically, but personally favoured the strawberry magarita more. The alcohol taste isnt so strong compared to the cosmopolitan. And the cosmopolitan tasted so much like cough syrup~~=.=

~Me~

Outfit of the day, bottom is navy blue skinny jeans...neway, wadever skinny jeans when they are on me, they arent skinny anymore...i shud reli put more effort in losing my weight n the fat around my hips and thigh...T.T

Last one, too bad cant see my eyes make up~~love the make up a lot today~~But seriously like nothing when it was being captured~~~=.=

Called it a day~~And it was really enjoy just sitting down there with your gf talking, drinking and looking at the crowd~~=))

P/S: i miss my kharrr~~~ XOXO ~~~

~hobby that i like recently~

2011-12-07T07:17:00.000-08:00

Grooming myself nicely (during hang out~~XD) is my all time job and also favourite~~Which girl doesnt feel happy when they see a more presentable self. Of coz, outlook is not all, inner beauty does speak for you too~~

Here I share my recent hobby where i found is fun, economic, reli time-consuming (is so gd for those who dunno what to do besides facing the laptop, FB with no interesting updates), and lastly will make u feel brand new again~~=)) That is changing my nail color!!!XD

Reason being, when u wanna change new color, u need to spend time for cleaning the old color, it takes about 10 minutes, if those adhere so hard one, probably need ~13 minutes? So it equal to scrolling ur side bar for maybe 10 times in FB, or refresh for 8 times in FB when u hav ntg to do. Haha~~XD

After removing, now is turn to remove the dead skin around my nails as well since i bought the things for rm1 during promotion, n i bought 2, so wanna finish it faster. Ok, apply and rub it, takes u another 10 minutes, after that wash it n dry it.

Then start the main job, which is applying them on ur nail. First layer, second layer...2 layers are enough, as if too thick it will dry so slow and those hidden wet part might get spoilt when u carry out daily activities.And also the top coat for a glossy finish. This will take you like 30 minutes or more.

And lastly, u might spend another 8 minutes to use cotton bud to remove the stain which out from the edge of the nail~~

So totally it will takes you like almost 1 hour or more!!not bad, spending 1 hour for the things u like right? In the end, u feel happy!!=))n brand new again!ya, i easily feel contented!=)

So am now showing my collection~~neither a lot nor few...coz u know right, color things, in between this red and that red, there must be another intermediate no matter how close the shades are...so girls will never done with shopping~~hahah~~

These are the light and pastel shade~~price was gd, none of them more than rm10, at most also rm5.90, the cheapest is rm1, bought during promotion.

These are the dark shade. Half of it was given from my friend coz after she bought it only she realized she doesnt reli like it. Price range almost the same. rm5-rm8.9 (if not mistaken)

And this is my current nail....love it sooo much!!!!!!!!=)))And the quality is gd, so smooth and relatively quick drying. And it has a lil strawberry scent, so sweet!!

Ya, now i'm happy!!=p

belated birthday post~

2011-12-07T06:22:00.000-08:00

There is a while after i wrote the second last post, i have closed my blog for a period due to some personal reason..neway, i doubt if anyone still reading my blog b'coz i was like just update twice a year lately, not as frequent as last time already~~neway, during those bored bored days where lecture keeps on cancelling, no momentum for study n bla~~have the urge to back to my bloggie, literally means will update more frequent...maybe wanna try out something new~~haha...well, there is the 'URGE' and 'MAYBE'...so, dun take it serious~~aww, i'm such an irresponsible blogger~~

Ok, back to the topic, my belated birthday post~~

Back to the old days when i was young, i always wish for a blast birthday celebration, u know, like throw out a party at somewhere else, invite sooo many guestssss, received sooo many pressiesss and take so many pretty photos~~However, that was once upon a time...

When i grow older, ya i'm 23, so wad~~i feel like whether there is a celebration or not, it doesnt important anymore...it's just another day for me, well, perhaps i can make it a lil bit more special?=))

This year, 2011, i had a very blissful birthday~~

I remember, during lecture, my coursemate sang birthday song to me, which is nice~~haha, thanks a lot for the lovely song~~After that, i went to KLCC, make over inside a public toilet, where dunno how many rounds of queue already witnessed the transformation process. After done my make up, is time to groom myself up, well, just putting on some accessories, did a simply hair-do and change to a heel. And also waiting for someone to come~

After a while finally he reached the destination and received his phone call telling me to wait him in front of the main door. As he wants me to accompany him to the car park nearby, beside the zouk which only cost us rm5, rather than KLCC, could have cost us a bomb!! So, ok, so we met, finally!=)

After finish parking the car, the mister asked me to close my eyes, i said y? somehow i just did it. And from back seat he takes out 2 roses. I assume he didnt know the meaning behind coz when ppl gave roses to the special one, either 1, 3, maybe a bouquet or 99, 999 or something else which share the common meaning. 2, the figure is rather odd, but my heart was soften into tears becoz i nvr expected these from him~=))But he said, is my birthday, since i dont want cake, at least there must be something to make it different. And girls, can u imagine when there is a cute guy wearing something that he doesnt usually wear, find a florist, bought 2 roses without nicely packed, holding it at shopping mall n walk back to the car park?it wass so lovely~~it doesnt matter less flower or more flower, nicely packed or not, it was all enough~really!=)i was so happy already..haha!!

After that, as i made my promise, i treat him chilis...we just sat inside the restaurant for few hours. Luckily we found a nice view seat, so we just spending the wonderful time looking at the crowd outside the window, enjoying the nice meal, keeps on refilling our beverage n chat~~Blissful!=)

Fed the stomach, killed the time, we went for shopping. There is an 'Charles and Keith' newly opened in KLCC, so i went there to choose my gift from my housemate/coursemate. I bought a pair of olive green sandal with some artificial gemstone, a lil bohemia style, which is always my preference. And also went to SEPHORA, too bad ntg go home with me, tho the 'NAKED' palatte already restocked, but still after think twice i didnt buy it since i still left so many cosmetic with me, so better dun simply spend the money. After that went to my all-time favourite, WATSONS, haha...got myself a ZA liquid eyeliner since my eyeliner finish so fast as my tiny eyes required few mL each time when i do my eye make up!LOL!!!XD, few mL...okla, i bragged, haha but seriously at least 0.5 mL...is consider a lot just to make up the eyes...

Time passes really fast, after that we sat at the starbucks, sharing one glass of forgot what beverage, something with caramel, and chat, and taking photoss~~And we called it a day!=)))

Simple yet blissful right???=))

It's me~~obviously..=.=

It's the sandal from my coursemate...Tho i'm petite, i still love to wear flat all the time~~i just knew myself is a petite after i google it. They define ppl who 160cm and below are petite~~~

Lastly, this is the gift from my lovely mei mei, soyoung, also from charles and keith...Lately so obssess with Chanel the classic bag, so choose the similar one~~love it heapsssss!!!!!!

~xoxo~

='(

2011-10-09T05:23:00.000-07:00

i shouldn't have meet u in the first place, perhaps i wouldn't know how awful a heart-breaking feeling can be~~ Suddenly everything seems so wrong~~='(

Eat Pray Love

2011-10-01T22:18:00.000-07:00

When i watch the movie , i was actually wondering who the hell in this earth will actually face the same prob as Liz, where she wanna step out from the marriage so desperately, wanna get rid wad she has used to in her life...For me, it was just a movie, a drama of life~~

And now, hell no i'm the one who standing on the horn of dilemma, a situation where i thought it was extremely ridiculous for me, like what's the point of being like Liz, just go on with the marriage, giv birth to a bunch of babies, stick to her career n just live! A happy family+secured career= happy ending! That's it!!N i forgot the fact that we would never feel 'full' and 'contented' about ourself, our life and bla bla bla yet we are scared of stepping out from our comfort zone~ At the end of the day , we suffered~sometimes when u hav been comfortable for so long, u'll get numb, and u no longer understand what happiness is~

And lately, finally i sort of understand the feeling of being stuck in the middle of nowhere in my life~ where 'lifeless' this vocab slowly creep into my life without seeking my permission...n now i realize, when it comes, it just comes without giving u an early notice~by the time u realized it, it is actually happening already...And u start thinking, wad i want in my life... when love, relationship, friends and family can no longer tame the desire within u~~u want something bigger than these, and u start looking, what is something bigger than all these~~freedom?

Yesterday after a long talk with someone, suddenly i hav the urge to get out from here, want to experience something i have never experienced before...like back-packing to some other countries alone for few months, see new things, learn some new languages, taste the cuisine that i've nvr tried, devote myself to God in order to find the balance in life, or run into someone during my 'refinding myself' period n alot more~~very Eat Pray Love right? N i sort of called it as a turning point, a complicated phase when u are going to entering a new phase which makes u either a better person or sadly to say, a worse one~~=(...just like metamorphosis, just dat u might become a moth instead of a butterfly~~

Life is hard, it only comes easy when u think it is~~

Living life needs lots of courage, but changing ur direction of life needs a lot more courage, more than wad u hav expected...

God bless!

Recently...

2011-09-14T06:15:00.000-07:00

Recently, i look like this~~ (lol, juz an excuse to post my recent photo..XD)
Recently, i'm busy with thesis proposal~~
Recently, i've so many thoughts in my mind...getting myself grad, get my dream job, hopefully, n moving out from this house~~
Recently, i realize i shdnt limit myself in so many things...becoz life is short n hav fun enjoying it~~
Guess time will really change someone, n perhaps i'm not 'so' young anymore~~gosh, i miss my 18!!!>.< young is always the best asset for girl...
Recently, i love to watch love movie, i wonder why~~maybe can find so many meaningful quotes in it...quotes about love, life and everything...Sometimes life need some meaningful quotes despite a short one, to wake u up n make you realize something u hav nvr realized...
Recently...

stronger

2011-09-14T05:26:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, i hope things will get better, go all my way~~somehow, it nvr would...this imperfection perhaps have made me appreciate more what i hav now~~n thus make me realize how could the imperfection could be that beautiful~~

Out of a sudden, i realized, if things only can go this way, if~~then wad i need is more courage, to overcome all those waves which ready to wash me away~

Thank God i meet you, you are the most beautiful thing i've had in my life~~irreplaceable~~

Again, fact proved that nothing is perfect, but let our mind 'distorted' a lil to view it as perfect...

God, plz let me be stronger~~=)

#I miss you...#

simply happiness

2011-09-14T05:26:00.000-07:00

Girl thought that sex is important for a boy, hence she gav him her virginity~~

Boy thought that brand is important for a girl, hence he gav her chanel~~

But who knows everything was just self-assumption...just because we thought it is~~

Girl would happy if u just cuddle her head, buy her chips n go silly together with her~~

And boy would happy if u make him a home-style dinner, n then lean on cosy sofa and watch movie until fall asleep~~

N not forgetting saying 'i love u' everyday~

Simply happiness~~

Good and loyalty

2011-06-19T08:20:00.000-07:00

Sweetest thing of the day:

Promise me u'll always be gd n loyal like this, this could be an element for me to marry u in the future~~if we were fated, no matter how far i go, i will come back to you~~

*i was pretty shocked when i hear this...well, am happy no doubt~~=)

_________________________________________________________________

I remember my fren once asked me before, what's the point of being so gd n loyal to ur bf and in the end he broke all the promises, break ur heart n the worst is, he fooled u again n again eventhough u two hav broken up.....

Well, now i know the answer: be gd n loyal is not for ur bf, but for urself....make urself worthy to be loved by someone who is a good guy in return~~

My bf might dump me one day tho he will sweet talk sometimes, make promises n so on like other bf will do....n if happen one day yr bf really dump u, nvr asked urself y that time being so gd n loyal...becoz, it proves that the man doesnt worth ur love at all...n gd girl always deserve a better man~~=))

hurt~~

2011-06-15T09:10:00.000-07:00

i'm sorry if i hurt u...
but do u know that u hurt me the same way too 3 years back?
n i din say a word on it...
but after years n years, repeating occurance,
i think i hav made clear something...
that no matter what had happened,
the only person who can help,
is myself...
what has been done cant be undone,
what is fact indeed a fact...
a broken heart even it heal,
still there is a scar...
i'm sorry if i hurt u...

Marry or Not?

2011-06-14T04:06:00.000-07:00

As a woman, for sure we hav come through meeting some other womans who is still single even at their age of 50. It could be 2 reasons, either u seriously enjoy single life, everynight go club go bar (50 still can go young ppl places ok...=.=), or u couldnt find the right guy to marry~

As for me, after i've seen them, the bunch of unattached, no matter how happy they look, somehow i still feel like it's kinda lonesome when the moment u back to ur apartment, there is no hubby n no kids warm welcoming u back...Thus, i told myself, i wanna get myself married before 30. Well, is juz part of my plan, whether i'll get marry or remained single, is still an unknown n somehow a lil depends on fate u know~

Ok, let assume u get to marry. But, woman has to really choose the right one before u step into marriage life, make a vow n commit to someone who u will spend the rest of ur life with~

Or else, the rest of ur life will become like this........

Being a mad frustrating woman complain on wadever things on ur marriage, u even will think that regreting marry this guy...I bet every woman dun wish this to happen, who wanna make their life a misery right? Believe it or not, my mom told me after married, husband n wife will only argue on these thingss....MONEY, KIDS, ATTITUDE N WOMAN~~that's all....n if u get the wrong guy, muahahhaha, welcome to the miserable marriage life....

If u ask me, what criteria(s) should a man possesses to make yourself safe to marry him?

I would answer u this...

1. The man must love his family

It is obvious if a man cannot love his family when he is young, he wouldnt love his future family when he become a husband and a daddy, and ur family...well, of course he should also know how to balance the love in between..So, for me this is the most important element when u want to marry a guy, see how he interacts with his family...

2. The man must be a cute man

Dun fall for a handsome man, fall for a cute man instead.. Handsome man wont made ur day but a cute man will. Imagine that u gonna spend ur life with him for the rest of ur life, 'handsome-ness' will fade, but cute-ness is something inner and can be last. If ur man is not cute enough, then i guess ur life would be kinda bored... u know, like sometimes u two will fight like kids, crack some lame jokes which can make u laugh for the whole day, and sometimes giv u lil surprises, maybe a sudden kiss or a sudden hug...For me, when i'm cooking, n my cute bf hugging me from behind and say :'thanks honey', it is sweet enough indeed...=)

3. The man must can do housechore, maybe not all but at least some to help out

Man who doesnt help out a woman do housechore when they r still couple, do u think they will bother to help u to change a fius or a bulb after u marry him?

4. The man can cook...(actually this is bonus la~~~haha...)

Whether he can cook u very simple meal like fried egg, sausage n toast with butter like this....

or make u some sweet-into-heart dessert like this or some nice nice cuisine which can compared with restaurant outside....

muaahahahha, u r the lucky one girl~~=))Dont u girl think a guy who can cook is soooooooo attractive??Imagine ur bf in an apron washing vege, cutting meat n bla bla bla~~=))

5. The man will buy u gift sometimes

I heard woman says that i would be happier if a received a bouquet during normal day than valentines or anniversary...maybe no need a bouquet, but a flower with some sweet notes can enlighten ur gf or honey's day...Guys out there, trust me, the real girl of u wont demand u to buy so expensive stuff, they will help u to save also...but they also want some lil gift surprise when u two are together...Like when she is having exam, buy her boxes of candy and snacks; when she is sick, buy her watermelon, or something when u shop n u feel is suitable for her...

For me, if the man is still has no career n cannot give u luxury life, but if he loves u enough, he will try his best to giv u things that he could 'afford' (not necessary expensive stuff, it could be a 'romance'..=))), at least for now when u two still together...

'I'm tired', 'I'm out of money', 'I have no time' cannot always be the excuses~~

If ur man can do this, grab him tightly, and a happy marriage could be urs...=))

if NOT, think twice before u enter the stage of marriage....

Welll, super important here, to get a great guys like this, of course u as a girl, should be nice and worth enough to let him do so~~=))

Relationship~

2011-06-12T09:09:00.000-07:00

The story begins like this....

A very random night, a boy n a girl met, and believe it or not, pheromone has makes them attracts to each other so much and finally, ya, they fell in love, deeply... And shall i end this story with, 'they live together happily ever after' just like what disney fairy-tale ever told us n somehow poisoned our mind that white prince will eventually appear in our life?

Well, ya, it could be possible the story can be ended with 'living together happily ever after'..But who knows behind this sentence, it actually takes the couple how long and how hard to reach this stage~

In a relationship, firstly of course honey-moon period becomes the dominant. After a while, perhaps a 3 months to half year, stability or comfort period will take place where couples are so much used to each other n being so true-self to each other until ur so tak boleh tengok punya pattern (eg., farting, muahahhaha~~XD..ok, tell me who dun fart..=.=..it just depends if u can make it into silent mode or vibration or wadever) also come out. Well, this is gd if ur other half can accept the whole you (actually it depends on the degree of tolerance ur partner has, if the degree is wide then congrats, otherwise pile of complaints and nagging will be heard from ur loved ones). Sooner or later, arguements take place due to the increasing of involvement in each other life. This is kinda true when something or wiv someone u get so close with, the occurance of friction increase, and gradually unstatisfaction appears n BOOM, the ever first arguement occur~~

Somehow couple could survive the very first one, but not guarantee with the subsequents one~And there is the critical period to determine if the relationship can be kept going~~YA!!accept the truth that things only has YES, or NO~either u make it or u couldnt. Of coz in this case is for couple who make it, if cant make it then BYE BYE end of the story.

If couple could survive after so much arguements, eventually a compromise will be produced after the pattern. For example, BIG arguement, then one side will keep quiet (NOT a cold war), if ur other half is rational enough, he/she will calm down, if he/she is not then sorry for ur ears to endure those bullshitss~and when both side are totally calm down, then only talk about it and solve it...it is even better if a solution could be sort-out and compromises reached. And believe it or not, this will appear to be a cycle...just like domestic violence...Who is strong enough to make through this cycle, then marriage could be ur choice...*A happy marriage is always a 2-way efforts.

There is one period in between where after going through the whole cycle, u will realize he is actually that man/girl who is the one u can be together with, living together, treasure life together, u know...and holding hands together till both of u go to consult dentist and get falsies together, and u always n perhaps love him more n more, n then--------U STARTED TO SCARE THAT YOU WILL LOSE HIM~~~This doesnt sounds good coz as a human beings we should accept the fact that no matter what happend, in the end, we will lose the someone. We couldnt find the ETERNITY physically but yet ETERNITY EMOTIONALLY is somehow hard to be seen. Human is greedy, we want something lasting physically where u can touch it, see it, hear it, taste it, smell it..Senses, are sin~~(at least for a pure buddha, it is!)That's the reasons making human beings demand for more and forget that actually without any of them, we still can survive, with all the fundamental things that already given by The Almighty. Due to the greed, u want something forever which u can actually see it with ur eyes but not heart. That's y u afraid of losing him~

Once in a blue moon, this question pop out in my mind. Can i afford to lose him?at least for now~~ (plz dun compare ur bf with ur family, coz ur family is always the first and no one can afford the pain of losing any of ur family member...If a bf is gd enough, then he will become ur family~=))
Ok, back to the questions~ANS: i realize i scared that i will lose him~ It's been really a while i never look into his eyes, and few days back, out of very random i look into his eyes again n i c something, undescribable, which makes me think that : 'what if i lose this man i love one day?'..and i lost...to no where...

Perhaps instead of afraid of something which is an unknown, i should spend more time n more effort to love him...Coz it's never been easy to find someone like the one who is right beside u holding ur hands now~ If one day happen that i lose him, i should tell myself, no sad, no regreting n all, coz at least we have the ETERNITY before when we look into each other eyes, thoroughlly... that is where u feel love, the way into his heart...

n yes i love my bf~

Isnt it lovely?

We kiss we love n occasionally we fight crazily like kids when we r young where both of us still energetic and capable of doing so much crazy things...and when both of us grow older, maybe couldnt be as crazy as before, but i believe a state of equilibrium has reached where we learn how to love in a way with a better give and take~~

And this is all about love and also life, give and take...Never afraid of losing someone u love when u two have been in love before, at least there is something happened in your life which carved a nice memory in ur heart which is unremovable~~=))

perfect woman~~

2010-11-09T02:05:00.000-08:00

Ppl said, behind a successful man, there would be a woman he loves~~
I would like to say, sometimes, behind a perfect woman, there would be a man she loves too~~

I aint perfect for everyone, but HE makes me perfect, at least for myself....=)

the recent me~~

2010-06-15T09:31:00.000-07:00

The recent me??

~still love to cium-cium her ah moi~~

~still love to do those silly pose~~

~face still that round and big....=.=.....

~loves her braces a lot....haha...^o^

~loves to smile wide without k bout the braces...

~trying to be more feminine.....*blush*...haha....

~still the old me where i think i've gained something outer n inner that i not really realized. But i know i've changed...thanks to all the disaster which came to me within this holidays~~they make me grow stronger and tougher....

it hurts a lot~~~

2010-06-15T08:54:00.000-07:00

Dunno wad's the reason i came back to blog...emo i guess....
Juz back from work, juz settle down myself, n my legs seems like do not get rest still n roaring in pain....
How many hours i work for?
Gosh it's only 4 hours but it seems like so damn long when i'm at counter....
I din stand all the time, thank God there is still a chair for me to sit...
But the heels hurt a lot whenever i wear it......
The heels doesnt fit me at all. I hav size 4 feet but i was forced to bought a size 5 low heels as i really need a pair of working heels at that time..limited choice n there is no size 4 n i'm quite ok with the design everything so i just grab it, thought by adding whatever pad then my foot will fit in nicely eventually....added all types of inner-sole to make it fit to my foot....
In the end, i can walk in a nicer way but it hurts a lot....
What's the point of wearing a pair of shoes that u think it's nice, elegant, make ur legs look longer n slimmer n bla bla bla but it hurts and not comfort at all indeed?

Aiks, dunno wad i emo for.......

Lesson of the day: Things that do not suit u will only hurt u a lot though u like it very much...

the moment~

2010-03-08T03:29:00.000-08:00

感觉，还真的是一瞬间的事情~~
很开心，不需要用那些勉强人的借口，最终还是放手，这个才叫真正的放下~~

生活加油！！

前天去了云顶，做了些疯狂的事，开心延续到今天~~
偶尔抛开一切疯一天，原来也是mentally的一种休息~

生活再加油！^^

陷在回忆里面~

2010-02-27T01:34:00.000-08:00

不要知道答案，是不是更好~
老早作了选择，但为什么知道后却那么伤心~
回忆涌现，开始到结束原来不曾模糊过~
结局只是让我觉得那么的可惜~
‘它’不曾在我身边逗留过~
我的另一扇窗呢？
我想是上面的太忙碌了吧~
我的小case被他们丢进waiting list了～
＝（

movies~

2010-02-20T06:07:00.000-08:00

最近一直都在ppstream翻回旧片来看~
以前都喜欢看周星驰的搞笑片，现在这类型的片却打动不了我，反而以前怎么看也看不明的文艺片让我深陷了。

记得最先接触的是《星语心愿》和《心动》，也是n年前的事了。。。
过后有一排都没看这种两小时的电影，反而追看连续剧~
后来有了ppstream，无聊时就会翻旧片看~
还真的发现了不少宝~
刚看完《如果。爱》，看完后，没话说~
我想，‘没话说’的定义是一种境界，没有得评论，是太好了吗？
演得太细腻了。一个拥抱，一个眼神，一滴眼泪，一句简短对白，都说进心坎里~

~永远爱你的，是你自己~

~现实的诱惑vs爱情的？？（我也想不到要放什么）。。。现实说：‘爱能喂饱你吗？’；爱情说：‘我以为有爱就够了？’。

好一个‘以为’，是‘疑问’？还是‘反问’？

~爱情里面，会找到‘复仇’，但往往伤害了曾经让你心碎的人后，才发现自己还是以前的自己，那个不忍心把对方伤害的自己~多傻啊！

另一部让我‘哇’的，就是‘色戒’。。。无可否认，床戏是个卖点。

令我印象深刻的，是汤唯说了一句：‘三年前你可以的，为什么不？’~

~《黑皮书》，让你知道，不能全相信你所看到与听到的，外面的世界是险恶的可以~这部戏不能说十分精彩，但它就是会让你静静地看完~

~《傲慢与偏见》，我也不晓得为什么会放这上来，因为看完了也没有很明。还有，它是第一部看着字幕也不是很懂的戏，用词很深。我觉得需要再找一天好好看过一遍，再慢慢消化，应该会很累人的~

~无可否认，setting很美，就像《断背山》的setting一样~

其实还后很多不错的片子，个人推荐《画皮》，《花木兰》。故事围绕的莫过于爱情，但我觉得它好看是因为。。。它们就好像实实在在，发生在我们四周一样~

first step always the hardest~

2010-01-09T06:43:00.000-08:00

Y am i sad??
Y am i so k about it??
By the time i've got no rights to do, to feel anything of it!!!
Can it fade faster??
SHIT!!!!!
I'm juz ntg....=(
God, plz stop fooling around wiv me anymore....
my heart can no longer withstand the feeling of heartache everytime when i c something dat i dun wish too...
Conclusion, i know i'm the one who is always psycho about that, so shud i said i deserved it?? deserved for being so kepo?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
thought i've decided n hav the determination in doing it, somehow first step always the hardest~~=(

ok, i'm not happy after all.......=(

braced~~

2010-01-07T08:37:00.000-08:00

Finally, finally my dream has come true where i've got my braces done....well, it's kinda funny as i categorized it as my dream~~~haha, YES!!it is my dream, juz that i wasnt dare enough to brace since i was young coz i scare to extract my teeth, i scare the anaesthetic injection!!!until one day where one of my pt dance teacher tease on my teeth, so i decided to brace~~~scared no more!!

So, i was lucky enough to get into UKM n become their student coz we always hav the privileged to get the free services, and bracing the teeth is one of it.....

After deciding to brace, i've go register at FGG and get a general check-up first, then screening.....and wait for next appointment......

I remember the doctor asked me:'Do u mind waiting for few months to get ur braces?','Of coz i dun mind'....(o.s: it would be better if we can start immediately...=.=)ok, sooooo....the few months he means actually is 12 months until i got the call from my orthodontist-on-trained......OMG, i'm sooo happy to get that calll, finally my dream is one step nearer........

First thing before i got my braces was putting separator.......n i accidentally swallow it together wiv my MCD fillet-o-fish burger after putting it for 3 weeks...n i only realized i swallowed it when i'm watching AVATAR coz i can feel the pain.......=.=*fainted*

Second thing, which is the most scary for me, is teeth extraction....i've extracted 4 teeths within 3 days...i nvr knew i can do this...n wad i wan to comment here is, anaesthetic injection reli reli reli reli FU*KING PAIN PAIN PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, done wiv extraction.....i was happy coz finally i can get my braces few days later.....n sarcastic-cally, the path to get my braces was actually tough...coz while waiting for bracing that day, FGG has blackout for few times....n doctor once told me if the electricity still do no recover by 11.45am, then the appointment has to be cancelled....by the time, it was already 11.15am.......God knows how hard i pray juz to get back the electricity.....HELO, i skipped all my monday classes juz to get the things done on my teeth~~~n thanks God He heard my prayers....the electricity has OKAY at 11.25am, fiu... risky though........so at last i manage to get my braces happily...........

And now edi 3rd day of bracing, n i hav eaten porridge for 3 days.....but still not reli can c the movement of my teeth coz i hav grew older, age of 21 consider quite old to get brace edi....so doctor asked me to be patient to c the result...Gum recovery slow down already wad.....

Well, i think the next challenge i hav to face is another anaesthetic injection which i hate the most....coz i need to put screw to locate my molar teeth so that it wont move forward instead the front teeth hav to move backward....argh!!i juz cant imagine wad will happen to my delicate gum...put a screw on it...somebody tell me it's not pain at all plz~~~@.@

Neway, despite of all the painful experince, i hav finally get my braces, shud hav happy n be grateful for it........so i shud hav smile~~~but not wide, ulceration will start soon if i move my lips tooo much......

So, hav u smile today???i hav~~~~^^

~hehehehhehe..............*doink*

无奈-ing~

2009-12-20T03:09:00.000-08:00

待会儿就要回到加影了~
开始新的一个学期~
其实，并没有很期待~
没有特别开心，也没有特别伤心~
特别无奈倒是有一点点的~

什么咚咚在作祟啊？
结束开始，从来都由不到我们来作主~
所以呢~
还是乖乖收拾心情，迎接即将来临的新挑战吧~

本人还是比较期待一月四日，套上牙套的那一天，如果一切都顺利的话~
那个对我来说，才比较像一个新的开始~
开始我的牙套生活~

现在，好好享受当下吧~

前进，还是后退~~

2009-11-30T18:57:00.000-08:00

我又回来了，不好意思，又要blog些不开心的东西，因为除了生日那天，我都好像没开心过了。。。

这几天开始会烦，开始会胡思乱想，开始会有负面想法。。。
朋友问我又发生什么事情了，我说我们就是什么都没发生。。。
开始发现自己越陷越深了，怎么办？
该继续这样下去？还是该减少联络，减少见面，放自己的心一条生路？
为什么要放弃？因为当你不知道你喜欢的人在想什么时，完全sense不到他对你怎样时，但表面上又好像很close时，那种像下一步就会踩到地雷的感觉一点都不好受。。。唯有立即逃离，不然最后被炸得粉身碎骨，我能怨谁？
开口？难道我没想过吗？但没把握的事我是不会做的。。。你说我自卑也好，怕死也好，我都不管，我就是怕死！！怎样！！怎样！！

那种感觉又回来了。。。谁说暗恋也是一种幸福？bullshit!!!!

已经做了最坏的心理准备，就是，在我什么都没做的情况下，我会失去他。。。

我就是没胆。。。我承认。。。

为了一个你喜欢，但他不知道自己喜欢他的人，伤心是难免的，但不是应该~

random update~~

2009-11-17T18:23:00.000-08:00

back back back!!!!finally~~~~

Finally finish my final, it was sux, that's wad i can comment....first time feeeeeel dat stress u know...n finally i understand y some mahasiswa and mahasiswi will commit suicide~~~but still it has over.....yippie!!!!!

well, start working at klcc, selling RENE FURTERER, a hair care product from France....once think dat need to work, one word>>>SIEN...maybe instead of feeling sien sien dei, i shud hav learn to make my life more colourful......

Fortunately, i still manage to get some rest b4 starting to work....went back to hometown to accompany my grandparents....went movie, 2012 wiv my physio fren n overnight at their place....then went a late night movie<> with den.....these two movies makes me learn to appreciate wad we hav currently, but not to demand too much, u'll need to pay more than wad u demand.....n 2012 not bad a movie also.....i wonder if or earth will turn out like that in the future 2 years....well, God decides this....

N one more pleasant thing, hehe, if everything goes well, 1st of dec will start to wear a seperator on my teeth, n after few weeks i can start my bracing....huhu..so excited once think about it....may everything goes well then....coz i've waited for one year plus.....*whee*^^

work work work later!!!!!!!!!>.<

away~~~

2009-10-20T19:26:00.000-07:00

huhu, i'm here to bid a transient gdbye............yyy???
becoz....
becoz.................
i'll be having final next week until almost mid of nov............urgh!!!!
this sem final is totally a nightmare for me~~~

well, pharmacology make me sick for memorising all the drugs, their MOA and side effects.....reli headache with this.......
Chemistry n its 'derivatives' wakakaka..........make me look stupid!!!
sigh...

Conclusion, break both legs for myself n to frens who r having exam also....

Jia You, Jia You.........JIA YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

^^

i'm scared!!!!!!!!!down~~~

2009-09-24T10:53:00.000-07:00

Now is 2.00am, n yes, i juz finished my mcd filet-o-fish set....tml 9.00am dance practice again, i supposed right on my bed now instead of blogging~~~BUT!! BUT!! I REALLY NEED A WAY OUT!!!!

I shouldnt be complained here as i was willing to join this n dance all 6 dances at the first place, neway, i juz wanna say it out to make myself feel better.......

Practised for 2 days (whole day) continuously.....n finally we ALMOST completed all 6 dances....juz need to polish up all the movement...n we only left ONE WEEK for performance.....n seriously, our dance, none of one can move to the stage........First time i feel so stress!!!!!!!

Today being the first time we do a full run on dance without drama....ya, non-stop, after 1st dance continue wiv 2nd dance...the outcome of 6 dances, terrible+horrible+vegetable!!!!!
i knew all the main campus dancers din mentally prepared for the following dance as we reli reli tired as in physically n mentally......Thank God teacher din reli scold us as they knew we r tired too n we juz finish all the movement by yesterday n today, not reli familiar completely wiv all the movement yet....they juz wanna c how well we can handle if anything happen on stage....

First time i saw my dancemates blurred until ask us where she supposed to stand,
First time i saw my dancemates blank until ask us wad's the dance all about...(by the time we all finish choreograph the dance edi),
First time i found myself reach the place but dunno wad movement to start...
First time i found myself langsung blank for the next movement like we nvr did b4......
First time i found our dance sooooooooo CHAOS!!!!
First time i found we r not sure wiv our movement.....
I hav lost confidence seriously....:(

All of these mistakes can no longer appear in practice or rehearsal right 1-week b4 of performance!!!!!!
I felt sorry to teacher coz i did reli badly for all the 6 dances....
i din mentally prepared, i'm not alert.......
sigh, this time i reli reli feel that i got no confidence in handling each dance....:(

B4 start the first dance, i reli can feel my heart beat faster, first time i feel that like i'm getting heart attack u know~~

Well, treat today as an experience.....i reli hope dat the next rehearsal, all the dancers can dance better, cannot worse than this time seriously.....

GOD!!!!!!!giv all the pt-30 dancers power for one week plus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!only one week plus plz~~~~~~~~~~~all of us must dance till finish the performance........

JIA YOU EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hypnotise myself that my body, my muscle isnt pain, (eventhought it is, doubt if tml can move or not)
hypnotise myself that my skin is not itchy........(THANKS to fungus infection, now even my armpit also kena edi...........super duper pain man!!!!!!!!!!)
hypnotise myself i'm not tired, i'm awaken, i can memo all the movement, i can dance it all out wiv the right feel!!!!
hypnotise myself wiv everything that can aid me in dancing~~~~

I DUN FEEL PAIN N ITCHY~~~

finish, sleep!!!!!!!!nite nite everyone!!!

when i'm back to KL....

2009-09-20T10:28:00.000-07:00

Finally, finally i manage to get myself to my bloggie again.....huhu, having raya break now, n i'm at KL now, super happy!!!!it's been ages i din go home.....feel so gd!!!n of coz, once i get myself back, non-stop outing.....lolz....wiv all my kaki......hahaha......
Friday night went to TS for bowling session, as usual, i broke my nails....n thanks to nic for treat us red wine......congratz for getting 1st runner up for ur logo designing ya....hahaha...

~obviously i'm lil bit drunk, after 4 of us, or i shud say 3 of us as kah yan not reli drink, finish the red wine......

The second day at KL, attended my cousin's wedding, far relatives la, i nvr c my cousin pun......no photos available, sorry......:p

Third day at KL, went out for movie 'Final Destination 4' wiv denson....n celebrate his birthday as well........opps, no photo as well, aiks, shud take one wiv him, such a memorable day....lolz.....

Well, 3 days gone like that......tml seriously need to study edi.....all the notes stack like!!!urgh!!!!hate it!!!!

2 days more gotta back to kajang again, so fast......i juz saw my parents for 1 day....they r all now in perak, left me n my bros~~~miss them so much~~~:(

N ya, before i forgot, SELAMAT HARI RAYA for those muslim, may all of u hav an unforgettable celebration wiv ur loved ones...n HAPPY HOLIDAYS for those non-muslims ya...^^ciaouzzz~~

bz like a bumblebee~~

2009-08-28T21:05:00.000-07:00

hey guys out there, sorry for the lack update coz the owner is super bz wiv her life recently....
of coz not reli happening one.......sigh, wad u expect a uni student life would be??
well, cant runaway from tutorials n lectures class.......n the things that reli stressed me out is the ongoing mid-sem test and the PT dancing stuff....well, mid-sem is being dragged for 3 weeks which is a nighmare for me..sigh, juz let me die faster would be better.....
Then dancing also crash 99 wiv my mid-sem......sigh.......but luckily i hav mentally prepared since the day i enter the dancing.......so, so far i still can withstand de.....juz cut down my outing will do, less napping......muz fully utilised my time.....

anyhow, sometimes u'll think that bz life is gd, where u dun hav much time to think all those non-sense stuff.....

Jia you jia you~~~^^

Stay strong Brother!!!

2009-08-14T20:37:00.000-07:00

~This pic was grabbed from nic's blog. I supposed this is the pic that he wanted to send to me juz mms problem make me cant receive any.

Brother current condition. Thank God that he managed to live thru the critical 48 hours~~somwhow he looks very weak........i heard nic said he's hardly to breath also......Sigh, all of us cant do anything, we juz can pray as hard as we can, hopefully our prayers will accompany Brother throughout his tough moments...

Brother Lawrence, God will be with u, we'll be with u, Johannians' will be with u, all our prayers will be with u.......stay strong!

emo-talk: this is life, where everyone muz go thru death.....sometimes u'll wonder y God makes us but eventually we'll leave also? Coz God wan us learn from this dynamic world which lived with all sorts of ppl......He wants us to lose our beloved, and we learn to appreciate; He wants us to fall from the peak, and we learn to become stronger; He lets us go through lots of obstacles, becoz He wants us to be learnt...God loves us, but He wont giv us wad we WANT, but He will giv us wad we NEED, to make our life complete....Be gd, coz God is walking wiv us~~

心态的调整

2009-08-14T06:54:00.000-07:00

学会用‘心态的调整’运用在舞蹈上，为什么到现在才发现在生活里我都没运用到呢？

或许，换个方式过生活，会让自己快乐一点~

不要理所当然的可以，不要为了去做而做~

我想这样子，任何方面，都会少了一些执著吧！

*最近的情绪敏感的可以，心情晃得很厉害~我真的真的真的超级超级讨厌荷尔蒙失调！！！*

*接下来的日子，练舞，练舞，再练舞~~肌肉还没痛完隔天又要拉筋。。。不过痛得甘愿，因为我喜欢contemp。。。。什么是contemp?看看以上的照片就知道了。有人形容它是一种‘看不明白’的舞。。。要将contemp跳好，难度很高~很开心这次的PT又学了一些新东西，舞步也明显的比起去年难。。。加油，一定可以的~~舞蹈可以，生活也一定可以~

Post reply~

2009-08-11T09:44:00.000-07:00

If my doctor told me i hav only left 48 hours or less than 48 hours to live......
I may cry, as i know i'm going to leave this world in no time.....
I no longer can do things as usual in this world.....
I'll use the remaining the 48 or maybe less than 48 hours to tell ppl around me how much i love them.....
I love my parents for giving the chance to me for seeing this world...
I love my siblings and friends for accompanying throghout my life.......
I love my lover for letting me learnt in love......
I love my enemy for hurting me enuf n let me grow stronger.....
I love everything i can, i wish....
I wish to hold my breath to accomplish things i wan n i need to in order to make my life complete.

However, now God is asking me to go back to Him, i got no choice but follow....
I believe God thinks that this is the right time for me to wrap up my life....
n i do believe i hav no regret in living, coz i respect n believe in God's decision....

I'll just close my eyes, breath the last breath,
and leave with dignity......

*earth is the place where we learn n shape our attitude......after completing, we hav to move on to another dimension of world to proceed our life..........live our death~*

~i would never forgot early in the morning i saw him walking on the balcony in white with his walking stick, n whenever i pass by i'll greet :"Good morning Brother Lawrence" in a very nice accent and he will reply me in a very gd way either...
~I remember nick told me i can drop by ur room and talk to you regarding life as for a person who hav live ur life more than half a decade, ur speech definitely will inspire me, n give me more inspiration and momentum to continue my journey in my life...
~I respect ur spirit for serving St.John's all these while....i respect your nobility....
~Fide et labore, always n always.......
~ur image would nvr abolished in our hearts, all the Johannian's heart....

*Praying hard for u, Brother Lawrence.....

蓝

2009-08-03T08:21:00.000-07:00

喜欢和拥有真的不能并存吗？

学习活在感觉里~

2009-08-01T09:56:00.000-07:00

每一次读一炉米的文章，每一次都很有感觉。。。而每一次感觉来到，才发现自己其实当了机械人好久好久~~

发现，很少和自己对话~
发现，理智多过感性~

是不是科学读得太多？那些理所当然的方程式总是充斥脑海里的每一个角落~心，很理所当然地砰跳着，却忘了砰跳的理由~
很多东西是理所当然到让粗心的人类忘了最初的理由。。。

或许应该要信仰些什么，还是寄托些什么，心才不会散掉。。。
又或许，没做自己喜欢的事情太久了，所以渐渐忘记自己真正要的是什么~
原来东西搁着太久，多重要都好，都会变得不重要。。。
所以，有些东西真得不能等太久，会累~

现在，想要慢慢找回以前的自己。。。
通往终点的唯一一条路，
就是学习活在感觉里~

my past few weeks~~~

2009-07-30T21:22:00.000-07:00

Wow, i can c fungus is growing everywhere in my bloggie...well, coz lately ntg reli special events occur....so like no point updating....neway, there is still some stories to share for my past few weeks de~~n also yesterday...hahaha....

well well, last week went back to kl home after having pharmacology in fac kl....as my nanny visited to kl, so went back teman her for few days......n of coz wanna get my hair dyed, so need my mom's help.....

n there is another event on saturday, which is carris's convo.....b'coz her parents cant attend it, so she invited me n chai instead....

~this is the bouquet we bought for carris....

~chai n i..........

actually the event quite bored....most of the time i juz sit there playing wiv chai's slr camera...man!!!juz feeling like wanna get myself a slr camera.....but so expensive, for me la...cheapest also 1k plus, juz for the body, not included the lens, if not mistaken....sometimes, the beautiful moments wont last as we wished, so only camera can do the job...the keep the virtual feeling last~~~ok, my next target, a slr camera~~~

Met my f6 senior in the convo, met andrea.....and the remaining time was used to take pictures.......After that, i went to setapak find ji han n boon wee they all again...ntg much, juz chating, miss my frens in kl........today supposed hav one pharmacology class at kl, somehow all classes in kl hav been cancelled due to H1N1 flu, n my ex-college, KTSN was being quarantined for 3 days as few students were infected wiv the flu, until yesterday only free again.....

hopefully they will recover asap....*finger-crossing*.......

Hehe, then this week i hav attended my uni New Tune workshop........finally i get myself in as member...hopefully after this i can fulfil my wish, sing my lungs out, hahhaha....i want to paint my 2nd year in ukm in a more colourful way b4 i back to KL during 3rd year...kl campus is all about study, mostly....i dunwan buried under all the text books, it's not my type~~~

And and, hehehhe, yesterday manage to go out breath n shop for the things i want....it's been ages i din shop, budgetly....hahhaha........n after 3 hours lab, me n my housemate went to cheras selatan, jusco......

~this is the dress i wish to buy, however, even the new one has lots of deformed....although i like it very very very much but i think with the condition, it's not worth the price.....so i 'ren tong' giv up the dress, sigh, i believe i'll meet a better dress next time....well, the dress looks rather odd in the pic...but in reality it's nice....

There gone my thursday....haha.....well, today stay at home.....study!!!!!2nd year is tougher a lot more than wad i imagined........so many new things..........n 8 major papers......chemistry is killing me!!!!i prefer pharmacology 'more more sheng'!!!

偶像剧

2009-07-23T04:50:00.000-07:00

终于，我用了三天煲完总共有二十一集的败犬女王。三天，我就哭了三次。最近哭点很低，一点点感动就会哭。哎，谁叫戏里的两位男主角都这么伟大，甘愿将心爱的女人让给情敌。台湾偶像剧就是那么庐，到最后还不是走在一起。。。

这次是第一次看偶像剧然后得到一些启发。那就是，与其抱怨身边的种种的不是，倒不如采取实际行动来解决那些问题。很管用的一句话，也可以间接地提高个人涵养。真的是很不错的一部戏，大家可以看看。^^

看完了偶像剧，结下来就要忙课业，忙国大中秋了。好开心噢，这一次又再次当舞蹈员。希望今年会比去年学到更多。加油加油!^^

finally manage to on9!!!

2009-07-22T04:17:00.000-07:00

After N years......i manage to on9 again.......thanks to P1WiMax!!!!!

2nd year life sux!!!!!!!!!!!!!!especially polymer chem~~~~langsung dunno wad is dat....

i hate gastric~~:(

2009-07-13T20:47:00.000-07:00

Last thursday DAWN, i was waken up by stomachache.....I thought it was just normal stomachache, so i juz ate some 'feng sha yun'...well, it turns better at first...somehow my stomach still feeling discomfort for whole day...At night, the pain attack me again, this time i reli cant stand it so go to nearby clinic and consult doctor. well, the medication that the doctor prescriped to me somekind like for those who r having fd poisoining, but i din cirit-birit lo.i asked whether i'm having gastric or wad coz i'm feeling burning sensation on the GIT and nausea, but he juz told me it's juz stomach upset..neway, juz take it first...well, became better after that....n i hav my day happily for one and a half day....

Till sunday night when i reach kajang's home, and gatal-gatal go n drink yogurt drinks......hoho, dat's the story start...i start feeling stomachache AGAIN after half an hour i drank that. And the pain is very intense, worse than last few days...i try to withstand and wait for tml morning to go to uni pusat kesihatan. However, at night, i reli seriously cant sleep at all due to the pain...So, ys send me to the clinic again n this time i request for an injection to curb the pain.....

This time, another doctor consult me which i think is better....he told me after injection if u still feeling pain then it's gastric....k, he gav me diff medication this time coz i told him last time one dun hav much effect on me, and an injection on my butt....

The effect only last for about half an hour, after that, pain again. again at dawn, i woke up and go to living room wiv my pillow, coz i scare i'll wake her up as i always crawl around due to the pain....finally, i cry...juz feeling so suffer where i still cant get myself a gd night sleep at 4am but hav to withstand the pain till the next morning...n this time i think i'm quite sure that i'm having gastric which i nvr had b4.....

So, now i hav to reli take gd k of myself n hav a proper diet to prevent this from happening again...Y gastric u'll find me???:'(

*recovering*

我要减肥！！！

2009-07-11T10:00:00.000-07:00

今天去了carmen二十一岁的生日派对，挺开心的，和中学朋友还真的聊开了。。。没有和他们拍到照，也许最近自己变丑了，所以没有很想拍照~~

还发现了另一个大事件。我真的真的从来没有觉得自己会这样的咯！去carmen的房看到有个秤，就秤秤看咯。。。不秤还好，秤了过后超想去跳海算了。。。秤没有坏，我的体重竟然飙去56公斤！！！！我考！我当场想昏倒！！！
56耶！！！还有4公斤我就60了！！！我第一次觉得号码可以加到酱快咯！

我真的吓到够力够力！！以前那个一直把自己身形keep到好好的我去了哪里？以前的我多一小撮肥肉都死命做瑜伽了。。。现在捏到三层肉我都还可以很selamba酱打麻将。。。我都对自己失望。。。

不会再赖避孕丸了，都停吃一个多月了，为什么体重还是上升着？为什么食量还是那么大！！！

不行！这次真的要加强意志力减肥！！！

1. 没有宵夜！！（某某人：下次我帮你你可以不用请我吃大炒as宵夜了。。。）
2. 没有快餐！！（coursemates们，下次你们打包kfc n mcd不用预我了，我决定吃maggi面）
3. 勤力做瑜伽！！（拜托啦，麻将四个kaki满后，拜托自己去做瑜伽拉！）
4. 还有很多很多啦~~

LCY!!! PLZ BE DETERMINED A LIL BIT!!!!

2009-07-03T23:14:00.000-07:00

Viewing back my previous photo, i hav realize i reli reli seriously gain lots of weight within half year...i doubt where all the fats cum from???

maybe all the cup noodles n huge amount of biscuits during study week and final exam....also the contraceptive pills which i hav taken for 2 months, cause water retention in my body....and also all the chocolates, biscuits during my 3rd sem.....n the most serious>>>> SUPPER during normal day!!!!!and of coz, my laziness not to exercise!!!!!!!!!

Argh!!!!!!No way no way, this cannot happen on me!!!i'm such a girl like beauty soooooo much...how can i turn into this way!!!!!

Ok, i giv myself 2 months (longest!!!)to return to normal!!!MuST!!!!

Sigh, my coursemate sure disappointed on me since i hav promised them that 'xiao bai' will at least cut a lil fat away within 1 week....but somehow instead cutting off the fat meat, i hav had upper for 3 days in one week.....*guilty*

幸福

2009-06-30T23:36:00.000-07:00

哗，终于忙完了一切一切。
第三学期终于在考完forensics imaging ospe paper那一秒宣告结束。我的第三学期也从此划下美丽的句点。
当然，结束了不代表忙完了一切。
第二天，七早八早就将东西搬去加影。单是把新家打扫干净也用了大家两天的时间。第二天因为有一些事情要搞并没有帮上任何忙的，少少惭愧tim~~~
其实，很喜欢新家的感觉。。。也许自己的家很乱，又窄，所以在新家睡了一晚后，真的由衷觉得‘这样才有家的感觉’。然后，星期天再带父母到新家过目过目，起码让他们相信，就算住在外面，我还是会把自己carry得很好，那他们才会放一百个心，不会再反对我在外面生活。

绕回主题，‘幸福’。刚刚看了朋友的blog，说着关于幸福的事。。。也许自己一直都在忙吧！忙学业，忙考试，final一完又开始做工了，真的都没挪出一点点的时间让自己真正的休息，也没想想‘幸福’这回事。还好在这个短短的假期总算有去了penang一趟。

认真想一想，其实我要得幸福还不是一样简单。。。
~肚子饿了，有碗‘辛辣’面。。。
~下雨天，就躲在被窝里睡觉。。。
~大热天，来个冰淇淋。。。
~闷了，就去游个泳。。。
n etc....哈哈，这样看来我做人还真的没什么要求的~

这样写意的生活要达成其实真的一点都不难。吃冰淇淋很难吗？睡觉也这样难meh?你看吧，要幸福其实都不难。
重点是自己如何把幸福定位，还有看你自己有没有发现。。。

今天的我挺幸福的，因为今天我睡到自然醒，还赖了半个小时的床，呆在家又有妈妈煮的菜，很幸福对吧！

说到冰淇淋，等下就去麦当劳吃他们家的香草口味冰淇淋。。。:]

希望可以带着这样的信念一直走下去，生活才会开心^^

changes

2009-06-20T03:44:00.000-07:00

#when u realize there's ntg can be cherished in ur life, then life isnt a life anymore.....#

Was meeting wiv my 'bro' yesterday n had a reli long and deep talk wiv him....suddenly the conversation made me think....am i on the right path?again the question pop out in my mind...

Well, after analyzing, i shudnt be worried actually. As compared 2 my precious life, this isnt making a prob for me anymore. Well, i'm studying the course i'm interested wiv which is forensic science, eventhough some subjects like Forensics IT killing me enough...(i still hav half of stack of notes which i haven touch n final is on next week!!!)However, i can c my future maybe 3 or 4 years later...No doubt, forensics scientist would be my first choice after i grad, n i believe all of us will get into that area as not much fresh grad from this course so far, less competitors, haha....

Wad was annoyed me was, am i reli gain 'anything' in my life?

Meeting after one year, he said i hav changed, not in a gd way, sadly to say....ok, besides physically 'gain weight'( my colleague once thought i'm pregnant!!!), mentally maybe knowledge regarding Forensics. However, inner beauty seems like nvr gain. Honestly, it's quite saddening when i heard this. Because i care very much how and the way people look at me, think about me n feel me. To make things clear, meaning standard has droped!! OMG!!i nvr realized it pun!!

So now, starting to gain something which i've been missing for one year.....such as??leadership(maybe), soft-skills, inner beauty(shud hav gain more knowledge regarding life than the solid knowledge we used to gain), physically as well (i muz get my weight back to normal, n try to be more girlish as i can be quite 'boy' n 'rude' sometimes)....wad else?errr, shud hav get one day n think about it seriously.....

I dunwan keeps on stepping on the same place, i muz move forward~~~

i miss u~~

2009-06-13T01:53:00.000-07:00

和别人看着戏，脑袋却在想着你~~
心情不好，我知道是贺尔蒙在作怪。。。
为什么你都不知道我在想什么？

forensics IT~

2009-06-09T02:25:00.000-07:00

Second day of having IT class........man, it's reli killing me!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel that i hav learn a lot of things within these 2 days....from 10am to 1pm, then from 2.30pm to 4.30pm......However, when u ask me wad i hav learn...oh gosh, it seems the hardest ques u hav asked....i dunno wad i hav learnt....to summarize, i juz can roughly tell u that i hav learn this n that, but details i hav forgotten......my mind has fully saturated!!!!!!!n my head is in 'trauma' now~~~reli headache....it's true.....T.T

How to go for exam!!!!!!GOD, plz help me ar~~~~~

moment in starbucks~~

2009-06-04T02:50:00.000-07:00

Huhu~~~finally i'm here again.....now in ts starbucks on9-ing, as there is no wireless coverage at my hostel area....y so eager to on9???to download java for the upcoming software that i'm going to download for my Forensics Imaging n Forensics IT sub.

Well well, i hav started my 3rd sem. N hav go for lecture class twice.
First time isnt much things, Dr. KO just assign us some assignments to accomplish within 2 days.
Our assignments actually got ntg much to do....wad we need to do juz take photos as much as we can, roughly like 1k like dat wiv diff category...this seriously killing me when we r going to take photo in crowd place in order to get the crowd-ness...i was warned by the security guard in KLCC putra lrt station as we r taking pic without permission during peak hour. Well, we still get it done finally. N story start when the 2nd day has approached.

Juz for ur information, i hav nvr used photoshop b4. so i'm a noob in editing pic. However, second day of lecture class enough torturing me as we deal wiv photoshop for the whole lecture session.....at first reli killing me, i'm so freaking frus as i'm very slow at first..but finally still manage to catch up...it was fun actually when i hav crossed the barrier...fun in reconstructing crime scene, play wiv 'touch-up' n etc....hahha....well, tml will hav some small test....muz hav fully explore this software tonight...hehhee.....

~me wic spec look....ya, coz always face with computer for this short sem, so i hav to wear spec to reduce eye strain...i got no idea if it works....

~yong yong n ly.....

~Ps.......

Life without internet is miserable....seriously....so today we intentionally go to ts juz to on9!!!!sigh.....but one thing i'm enjoy is, we r living together now....the life is gd...^^hehhe....

Okie~~~hopefully the following days i can cope wiv everything, as Dr. himself also claim that Forensics IT is much tougher than Imaging, even our seniors said so....n we hav to finish this 2 subjects within 3 weeks n get our final done...wow, can imagine dat it's kinda rush for newbies like us as we nvr touched this 2 subs in our life b4....In a nutshell, we nvr touched things related wiv FORENSICS b4 we enter uni....

Well, finger crossed that all of us manage to handle all well soon...^^

P/S: hehe, i'm happy today as i met my 'aiya' sister in oldtown cafe juz now....miss her so much, n wad a coincidence chai was in lowyat.he came over n hav a short gathering wiv us...^^

为什么~

2009-05-29T21:02:00.000-07:00

为什么我都不知道他在想什么?
隔了半年的感觉又回来了~
不确定的感觉一点都不好，
我可不可以不要。
喜欢一个人能不能不需要顾虑这样多~

看着一炉米的部落格，
最新那一封帖子，
#在人生最单纯的那时候找到你#
好有感触。

这几天突然回想起以前的生活，
在我人生还单纯的时候，遇到了不单纯的男孩，
给了我一个难忘，不堪回首的过去，
也许是自暴自弃吧，
生活开始变得有点糟！
直到上大学，才好一点点~

有时在想，
如果没有那段过去，
现在的我会不会过得好一点?
如果没有那段过去，
今天幸福会不会离我近一点?
果然，还忘不了。。。。

东西其实很简单，
但为什么在我身上却变得这么难?
希望今年的生日愿望不要再和去年一样了~

心情话:我在人生还很单纯的时候，错过了很多东西，觉得很难用二十一岁的岁月去弥补了吧！

爱情与婚姻

2009-05-27T20:19:00.000-07:00

什么是爱情?
爱情就是当一个人吩咐你进森林走一趟，然后将沿途最美的花朵采下来，采了就不能换，且不许回头。但到最后你却空手出来。那个人问你怎么了，你说:"每当看到一朵很美的花朵时，我会想采，但深怕前方还有更美的，所以也就放弃了。走到了最后，才发觉我已经错过了那朵最美的。所以，什么都没得到。"
这，就是爱情，错过比得到多~

那，什么是婚姻?
婚姻就是当一个人吩咐你进森林一趟，然后将沿途最肥壮的树砍下来，砍了就不许再换，一样不许回头。这一次，你扛了一个并没有很大的树就出来了。那个人问你怎么了?你说:"经过上一次的教训，这次只要我看到觉得肥大的，我就砍下来了。但走去尽头时却发现其实更大的在后头。是有点后悔，但总好过又再一次空手而归，只好认命吧！"
这，就是大部分人的婚姻心态。后悔，认命。

梦很美~

2009-05-26T23:21:00.000-07:00

梦
有时是美到你不愿醒来。。。
它如果能成真
那该多好~

这次
还真的希望自己不要醒来的好~
醒来后
又回到那个模样了~

penang 'half day' trip

2009-05-26T20:21:00.000-07:00

Finally penang i'm here...well, i'm not here for trip or jalan-jalan actually. Me n my family are supposed here to help my grandpa out as he will be doing his heart operation in GH. However, before the operation, i did steal the day n enjoy wiv my uni-mates.

First day reach penang edi 6pm something, so after we hav our dinner, my uncle sent me to guat tee's house. N i hav overnight at her place for 2 nights. The first night we hav went to 'coffee island' to 'lim teh'. We were trying to ask as more ppl as possible, but finally only yuk fen manage to join. Then that night we edi plan for tml's outing. Hehehhe.......

So, here comes the second day in Penang. We hav invited sotong n ah beng go to beach together to view the sunset. But, because they are planning for gym first, so me n tee went to queensbay mall shopping...hehe....She has bought 2 hair colour solutions n a sun glasses whereas i hav bought a top...vincci is doing sales!!!!!!!!!!if not that we scare we'll be late i think we'll shop at vincci till broke...hahha.....

~shopping shopping.....

~guat tee n i having lunch at yaka dunno wad ramen..........

Hehe, then sotong called telling he is on the way......yippie, beach~~we r cuming......

Well, only 4 ppl, so kesian sotong becum our driver...neway, thanks a lot...our journey has started after we went to fetch ah beng....

~Finally!!!!!!!!!!!i miss u batu ferringi.....luckily we still on time for the sunset...or to be exact, we'r abit too early for a sunset...haha.....

~sun still high up in the sky......

~the boys....

~n the girls....

~i luv this a lot~~~~

~group pic....i look like pregnant woman in this photo.....

~jumping, nice shot!!!

~this is the NG one....

Lastly, sunset is here....too bad that we only hav camera phone wiv us, or else i think the photo would be nicer wiv a total camera....

Sun disappearing in juz few minutes, i wonder, y every single beautiful thing can fade away in such a speed.......appreciate every single thing beside u....especially the beautiful one~~

O.K.~~~~after sun has set......we went for dinner n lastly a movie, ICAC (I corrupt all cops), not bad a movie.....then sayonara le......c~~one day has passed, so fast....

Here, specially credit to sotong n ah beng as actually i wasnt close wiv them, juz like hi-crap-bye fren during 1st year in ktsn...but reli thanks for the companian dat day....haha, i can feel the passion of penang lang....*doink*

And also thanks to chong ki senior for bringing me yam cha at taiping....^^though i nvr mention anything about taiping in this post. hahha....

不值得

2009-05-20T21:19:00.000-07:00

你在简讯问我，‘是不是还不想见到我’，我回了你，‘哈哈，你想太多了！’
但说真的，我没有很想和你出去，所以都一直在找借口推掉约会，还放过你飞机~你为了约会拿offday，我却在约会前几天放你飞机~对不起~
也许，下一次有机会我就要诚实告诉你，‘我已经有喜欢的人了，我们就不要浪费大家的时间吧~’我对你来说还不值得，真的~

night at the museum 2

2009-05-20T20:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night suddenly received nic's sms asking for yam cha, well, i juz said 'yes' as long time din meet up wiv him n sean also....

When i saw him only he told me dat:'ei, we go for movie lo'......then i said;'oklo..'....n we decided to watch 'Night At The Museum 2'...Our ticket is 12.45am...so we hang out at starbucks to hav some snack first since we still hav about half an hour....and chit-chating lo.....

Finally, we hav waited till the time...wow, long time dun hav late night movie wiv my frens edi....well, as usual, commercial advertisement for about 15 minutes.....i almost fall asleep edi.......About 1 a.m. only the movie start.....

The movie end at 2.42am.......Gosh!!!!!i sleep late again~~~=.=

Honestly, i step out the cinema wiv lots of disappointment........y??

Becoz the movie is SUX!!!!!!!!!so many LAME dialouge......seriously wasting time!!!some parts is amusing no doubt, but i got no idea y others their 'laughing point' can be such low..i dun think it's funny by the way....they juz can laugh throughout the movie.....well, maybe this movie is sell their 'EFFECT' ba i would like to say.....the graphic n sound effect are gd....story line so so....others i got no idea wad to comment about....totally disappointed~~~~~

Hehe, another few hours i'm off to perak n penang edi, so wont be on9 for few days......is not going for trip, but send my grandpa to penang for heart operation....finger crossed he will be fine...^^

high heels

2009-05-17T10:06:00.000-07:00

Today, i was challenging myself for wearing high heels to shop the beauty fair n go to work....conclusion, it's so damn torturing, think no longer will wear high heels to work again!!

I remember my fren told me b4, the moment when a GIRL turn into LADY, is the moment when the girl start loving high heels n start wearing it...

No doubt i luv high heels a lot as it can lengthening ur legs (so that the ratio of ur upper part body n lower part body will look perfect) n makes u look more professional, elegance, n femine....but do you know how much a girl need to pay when wearing high heels? of coz in terms of money n health....

Well, today finally i hav decided to wear the black high heels to work. First, went to beauty fair, shop about 2 hours more....ok, start feeling discomfort after long walk in the tunnel....lunch, ok, rest a while....then, start my work......HELL, dat's the story start. Start feeling pain whenever i go toilet, n when go for dinner at avenue k, my legs like going to break while walking...after back from dinner, greeting session hav to stand for one hour, i curi-curi take off one of it n rest when there is no customer pass by my counter....at night, walau, pain till cannot tahan, walk also abit cacat look n when going back, i hav to borrow a pair of flat slipper from nancy, thank God i manage to walk in a proper way wiv the flat one....

Maybe some of u curious., reli dat pain mou??!!errr....maybe i'm not used to it, and my heels is rather thin, so increase the force per area, n walk on those hard floor, the pressure reli pushing me to death...well, my heels about 2 and a half inchs...for me is a big challange for wearing it up to 12 hours....

~ya, u c, no doubt wearing high heels can be sexy....

~seductive, femine and wild.......

~also, professional and elegance....

BUT!!BUT!!!, it's super duper pain when the heels getting higher n thinner.....well, think dat i shud practise more walking with high heels edi....

Ever wonder the history of high heels? well, i try to google it and there is lots of version, i got no idea which one to be identified as the correct one....haha...so if u all interested in high heels, haha, google it.....

Even now, still pain.......well, tml will be wearing a rather flat one to work.....tata...^^

Rest n pamper myself....^^

2009-05-12T20:56:00.000-07:00

Finally i hav back again...sorry for the lack update as i was busying working for the past 3 days...N it's reli tiring....i'm so happy finally today i can rest up to friday...then sat start working again.....

Well, shud hav pamper myself for this precious 3 days as i was doing ntg that is reli gd to myself during working days, but keeps on harming my skin for putting heavy make up on my face...of coz, i'm selling cosmetic, full make up is a must....

So wad i shall do during these 3 days?? well, i hav planed to:-

1. Do facial mask, coz long hour wearing make up reli harm my skin....fully utilise the mask that i hav bought....

2. Practise yoga....u know y?i hav gain weight seriously...physically, i reli hav becum 'fat' especially my butt, hip, arm, even my waist....i got no idea whether is the side effect of the contraceptive pill or wad. Ya, i hav taken it for 2 months, dun think will continue again le...shud hav use another method to get a normal menstrual flow....aiks, this freak me out super lot....coz when i din get my menses, i look very charn, skin turns out badly wiv all the break outs....so if i nvr get my menses, no matter how expensive the skin k product i use or how precious the supplement i ate, it's all helpless....urgh!!!!

Hehe, and finally i hav get myself this ZA Deep Hydrating Gel....this product got lots of compliment from the users, i get it to know from forum n my frens who r using this. This can use as sleeping mask as well, how? Well, apply a lil bit more n thicker on ur entire face except eye area n go get urself a gd night sleep....The next morning when u wake up, u will realize ur skin is boosting wiv moisture n look radiance glow, n ur skin feel supplied when u touch it, coz it has get enough drink wad, haha..... reli super gd....*thumb up*, i hav tried...:p

Haha, dat's all for today, i wana go back to my drama le....hehhe.....^^ciaoz~~

i'm back!!!

2009-05-09T05:11:00.000-07:00

Finally, finally, back to my own sweet home.....well, kinda miss kt though...

Haha, yesterday once i reached home, unpack few of my things, then i outing wiv chi ling le...haha, went midvalley.....outing juz for 2 and a half like dat but seems like out for very long..bought somethings...n accompany ah moi buy her mother's day present...then suddenly got the urge to find my frens in setapak...coz they juz move der...so call them up, n they also ask me cum over their new place....

So after finish our shopping session, went to setapak kacau them...hahha....the house is very very big, kira fully furnished, juz lack of washing machine....so 1.5 k is reasonable i think, coz seriously big...then play wiv the kayu, coz they r fixing a cupboard, n i also kepoh a while jiang...ahahha...after that, hav dinner wiv them n bought my favourite tong shui.....

So fast, we r going to lead a new life soon...time is too fast for us to adapt everything....while missing our previous life, we hav reach another phase of life where we need to adapt it all over again....

For me, when i was newly to uni, first time live outside, i mean hostel....wad i need to learn is used to malay fd, used to cold water bathing even in big cold day, i think dat's all ba....next year in bangi, i gotta learn more as no longer living hostel life...well, looking forward to that...life is always adventurous n dynamic......live to the max!!^^

Goodbye~

2009-05-06T00:35:00.000-07:00

Today is the second last day for me to 'conquer' this room in KT. After tml, i no longer can live here.....abit sad actually....

Paint my first year uni life here...

I hav met with lots of people...

Of coz, no doubt, after tml, there must be someone, somebody and something i'll miss.....

After tml, no longer attending those lame activities to gain merit,

After tml, no longer 12.30pm cafe, 7.30pm cafe with coursemates n frens,

After tml, no longer kacau-ing frens in their room when i'm bored,

After tml, no longer chit-chating wiv frens after bump into them accidentally,

After tml, no longer yam-cha session wiv frens in cafe,

After tml, no longer cafe food, eventhough it sucks sometimes, however, there is some improvement lately...

After tml, no longer late night badminton wiv u guys at surau der,

After tml, no longer ping pong in DSG,

After tml, no longer piano session in DSG too,

After tml, no longer pillow talk wiv my roommate,

After tml, no longer walk here n there passing movie from frens,

After tml, no longer titiwangsa-walk with coursemates,

After tml, no longer things that i was used to do for my entire first year...

I will miss it badly i know.......

Goodbye KT,

Goodbye my first year hostel life,

Goodbye to all my frens,

SHIT~i hate saying goodbye~~~~:(

*there seem the end of the story i think....(hidden meaning)....Bye~

A letter to God

2009-04-30T21:01:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

I believe in you, n i know U know me well than myself....
U know wad i need the most n etc....
So, i hav decided to let U to decide for me, the ending of the story....
Regardless wad the result will be, i would not regret...(am i?i doubt...)
I thought i would be strong for this, however, i'm not overall....
sorry for being a coward...
I feel helpless....:(

In a nutshell, i'm not happy after all......not because of anyone, but becoz of myself, the sensitivity within me.......

So near yet so far is all wad i can say....

yours sincerely,
~mel~

剩两张~

2009-04-28T05:22:00.000-07:00

终于，还剩个两张paper。有一张满heavy的，但还有六天的时间让我慢慢读。
好期待考完试的那一天。突然觉得好多东西要做酱！
哈哈，其实已经在脑海里计划了。
考完试第一件事，去shopping，败家一下酱~
要为保养品进货，还在考虑到底要转什么牌子，
看了论坛，感觉上The Face Shop好像很不错。
还是继续Kose呢?
要回太平，好久都没回那里了~
要努力工作~

生活好像很乏味酱~~=.=

今天天气很好~

2009-04-20T03:06:00.000-07:00

今天天气很好，
天蓝得很透彻，
阳光很和煦，
白色的云朵并列而排，
鸟语花香。
只是还是有一点点热。。。
感觉很夏天~
那种闷热，干燥到你不想做任何东西，
只想爽爽就去冲凉，
不然就趴在床编织一个夏天的故事~

想不傍晚到titiwangsa lake garden跑步一定很赞。。。^^
阳光一样和煦，但就会少了那躁人的闷热~

好想让自己放个长假，
想到郊外来个徒步，
jungle trekking也不错。
又想到海边或瀑布感受一下那沁人心脾的大自然。

好期待考完final的那一天，
虽然今天才第一天。。。
想和姐妹们走街，
想疯狂购物，
想赚钱，
想回家乡。。。

again, i miss every single little things that i have missed so long.....

Angel

2009-04-18T06:47:00.000-07:00

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

missing my high school frens~~~

2009-04-16T00:02:00.000-07:00

well, i supposed studying by right~~~but human tends to get 'sien' when doing something for quite a period of time.....thus, i click here n der, finally i hav reach kelly's blog....viewed back all our memorable photos during f6 n after f6....how fantastic was it~~high school life always sweet~~

let's the photos becum the narrator~~

~during gotong-royong...(upper from left: me, see pey, mei sing; bottom from left: eve, kelly n chin chin)miss u girls a lot eh~~~

~me, kelly, eve n chin chin......if not mistaken, that day we were arranging our seat for stpm in hall.....after that was our cam-whore session...haha...ya, behind dat is my school building, awesome right??u would hardly to c a school wiv this type of architecture....St. John's Institution.

~Hari Anugerah...Candidates who did well in public exam n school exam were attending to receive award. (upper from left: kelly, eve, lai mei; bottom from left: siao huey n i)

~hehe, after receiving award....we went to JJ at cheras sing k n celebrate chin chin's birthday as well......eve, kelly n i.....

~the day we get our stpm result...opps, the sequence is wrong...haha....terbalik wiv the above one, pai se ya.....so happy to meet my girls n school teachers again...me, kelly, chin chin, see pey, eve n mei sing.....i miss them badly....

~after got our result, me, kelly, sean, chai, n jeff went to pavilion n spend our whole day der...^^

was camwhoring in washroom.......hahha.....aiks, miss my long hair tim~~

~sean, jeff, chai, me n kelly.....we were one gang...but seldom meet up recently as each of us bz wiv our own stuff....wad a waste...reli reli wish to hav a trip wiv them....n dear all, i miss our genting trip, remember??i was thinking it back last night, seriously.......

~n this is the recent one, i also got post it in my blog...it was last year dec.....2 days b4 christmas...hahha....me, kelly, shiuan n li jia~~~

~me n kelly dear.....

~kelly, shiuan n i.....

Memories juz flash back in a sudden silently.....

i miss them a lot...

n i do miss my long hair.......ok, keep it long since now~~~

ganbatte to all of them...those who r having exam, working n etc....best of luck in ur future.....

luv u guys~~~muackss~^^

I'M STRESS~~~

2009-04-14T02:26:00.000-07:00

urgh!!!!i'm stress!!!!!

Becoz i realize that my appetite has changed. I used to hold wiv the temptation of junk fd very well. However, i realize i failed to do it since this week?i knew i would non-stop eating start from dis week until i get my final done. aiks, juz keeps on grab the potato chips beside me when i' studying!!!!conclusion>>>>>>>>constipation due to consume too much of heaty fd i think~~

I knew i hav fulled. But still i wanna eat....i juz wan to have something inside my mouth for me to chew~~~n i can feel that my mechanoreceptor n the stretch receptor of my stomach has reach it maximal....can feel the sense of burst if i still continue eating!!!

NO WAY~~~~plz control....coz my weight has gained from 48-51kg!!!!!!!

N, feeling like wanna stop my hormonal medication~~~sigh~~~:(

男人的眼泪

2009-04-05T20:55:00.000-07:00

今早被一通电话吵醒，原来是ADI，久违的PJKN营友。他会打来其实没什么奇怪，因为他爽爽就会call来，还试过半夜一两点打给我。这次一开始他告诉我他换号码了，fine。聊了近况，fine。突然，他没在说话了，换来一阵阵的抽泣声，越来越明显。我问他，你是不是在哭？他说女朋友离开他，女朋友变心了。天知道我要懂得事情的来龙去脉是多么困难，因为他在哭着，再来他是马来人，所以是在讲马来文，我真的问了很久才问出个所以来。其实，很多时候我们都没对话。一，我用马来文安慰朋友的说服力不够；二，我知道失恋的人打来的目的就是要哭诉罢了。就让他们哭得够够吧，哭出来他们会舒服点的。

男人啊~有时脆弱的可以，尤其是面对他们深爱的女人的时候。有时觉得被爱情牵着鼻子走的，往往都是曾经是玩世不恭的男人。为什么会是玩世不恭的男人？当一个男人真的遇到他深爱的女人的话，之前多play都好，都会乖乖败倒在她石榴裙下。一心一意只当守护她的男人。是报应之前伤害过女子的心吗？爱情，是不是都是这个模样?

是该说我看透了，还是我都还不了解？就曾经遇过那种烂男人，一边厢拖着正牌女友，不过我不否认他真的很爱很爱她，保护她到无微不至的地步，另一边厢又瞒着正牌女友和别的女人发生性关系，这个算什么？对这种男人，我不会恨他，因为我觉得也许外面majority的男人都是这个pattern了，我只会觉得他很烂。说回那个男人，都不懂要替他的女友高兴因为钓到一个有钱的，还是替她感到伤感因为他的男人其实一直在背叛着他。我敢打包票，这种男人就算和自己最心爱的女人结婚后，给他安分守己个两年，过后在外面一定会有别的女人的。

刚才翻了星洲副刊，看到几句还挺有意思的。

~小时候你最讨厌什么样的人，长大后却成为那样的人，就像我们讨厌第三者，讨厌抽烟的女人，讨厌暧昧对感情不忠，讨厌势力鬼，讨厌明明只是朋友还可以跨越界限等等。。。到最后我们往往成为这样的女人。

以前爸爸在外头有女人，我恨死那个差点把我变成单亲孩子的女人。现在长大了，我还不是当过第三者。纠缠不清的关系长达一年多，但我很清楚明白我没有想要破坏的意思。这种心态又要如何归类？

~我只知愈懂男人的女人愈不敢去爱。

看透了，失去信心了，还会敢吗？也许浸过KL这个大染缸，我知道我只要不小心走错一步棋，我的生活就会变得一塌糊涂。周遭有太多太多诱惑着人的offer，只是看你把自己的价值摆在哪里。

我们都会说，女人啊~不值得为了一个不爱你的男人而流泪。。。

男人何尝不是？你们的眼泪也不值得为了一个放弃你们的女人而决堤。

很早的时候，大家都说男人都变种了；现在，女人也变种了。

一个dynamic的社会，没有谁会不变的。。。

重新找回动力！

2009-04-02T00:13:00.000-07:00

今天回了圣约翰国中一趟。
两年了，从那里毕业两年了，但记忆还是新的一样。
走回每天高三走的那条路，回忆慢慢重整。
好多好多回忆~
校园倒是变了一点，也多了很多陌生脸孔。
现在认识的学弟都不到五个。
和久违了的老师谈天，突然整个人recharge起来。
遗失了好久的动力，终于回来了。
不晓得是不是在山上，旁边有个天主教教堂，而圣约翰本来也有一点点基督教的色彩。
每次回去都让我的心很平静，脚步也放慢了，总觉得那个地方很神圣，神圣到你根本不知道‘复杂’这个字怎样写~
谢谢老师们的一番话，总是给我很多inspiration去走接下来的路。。。。。^^

保佑保佑~

2009-03-30T19:44:00.000-07:00

希望不要又来一单这样的事件，我的心负荷不了这样多的打击~保佑那个八公不要在他面前乱乱讲话，不然这次我会死得很惨很惨~~~

头很晕，不懂是不是避孕药的副作用开始了。大家，别误会，吃避孕药是为了调我的贺尔蒙，让我有正常的menstrual flow，而不是避孕。昨天上网google了一下，才知道那医生给的是避孕药，我还要吃足三个月。也很多副作用一下,lose/gain weight, dizziness, depression, insomnia, aneroksia, increase in size of breast, breast tenderness but 还觉得欣慰的是reduce acne。真的，一看到contraceptive pill这个字眼时，真的超想笑！！真的是无言~~~

trip to Kota Lukut, Seremban~~~

2009-03-19T07:30:00.000-07:00

I'm finally here again to blog~~~~
So sorry for my MIA as i was reli bz for the past few weeks plus the line here isnt gd....so cant always online as desire....

Hehe, well, today feeling like wanna blog about the one day trip of forensics family~~~
Ya, we did our 'practical' at museum Kota Lukut at Port Dickson....
Sounds fun rite??
Well, at first isnt fun at all as we hav to walk under the 'passionate' sun and the staircase~~~~and the MOSQUITOES~~so irritating!!!

However, when we start our session wiv 'bone', we hav searched so much fun n did learn a lot..^^
How to identified human bone and animal bone....Looking n 'feel' the texture of the bone and artifact (ships and meriam during dunno wad war at Melaka) that hav left in this museum n etc...

~after one and a half hour of travelling, we hav reached finally......i wonder y forensics student hav to travel everyday........aiks~~~but gd la, train us from the very beginning.....juz abit tired lo~~~

~we hav to climb up the small hill n reach the peak....it's tiring!!

~long time din cam-whore le....very 'kayu' when self-capture...

~here is some of the pic i took......actually quite lame n boring....i mean inside the museum....not much things i can c.....mostly pic.....

~Yap Ah Loy......our chinese hero~~~

~This is not fashion show....but is the attire for pelombong bijih timah~~~

~reflection........

~haha, go into the jungle to discover some new things....got bitten by mosquitoes instead~~~

~they were exciting taking photos as well, hahaha.........

After that was group by group activities where we hav to explain n giv description to the bone we got...haha, due to nil experience, all the group guess the wrong answer..but reli hard to differentiate animal bone n human bone leh~~~

After that, call it a day~~~we heading back to kl again..one day pass like dat......fast sial!!!

In a nut shell, today's trip not bad a gd experience for all of us...it's a very great exposure for forensics student...wish to hav more practical session like dis....n the most important is, we need not to submit report for today's practical.........hurray!!!!:p

爽到一下酱~

2009-03-14T07:09:00.000-07:00

哗~~终于真正尝试当化妆师的滋味了。

这个周末牺牲了回家的时间，留下来帮JPD的朋友化妆。为什么甘愿牺牲~为了想赚钱。

不过真的赚不多，应该说本钱都还没赚回来。没办法，并没有很pro很pro，收太贵会没人愿意给我化吧！而且，毕竟大家都是学生，唯有将心比心了~

嘻嘻，下个星期要找兰西姐进货了~一想到可以进货，异常开心起来！！

化了八个人~~从早上1145化到1845，中间换人时偶尔扒几口饭酱，饿到~~腰酸到~~不过忙起来就会忘了这些辛苦，加上我是做着自己最爱做的事。。。

哈哈，还记得化完最后一个后，我是整个人瘫在椅子上，虚脱~~~更好笑的是，我和晓雯(发型师，她set的头好美噢~)的脸出油到，可以拿来煎蛋了。哈哈，大家都忙得很开心~

还挺满意今天的作品，只差没有多余的时间跟她们拍照。是忙到连sms都没时间看~

希望这个梦想的火花能持续燃烧下去吧！

虽然现在不能当个全职化妆师，好歹也让我是个兼职化妆师~

不过大家，不是在砸自己饭碗噢~我没cert的，但我相信practical会实际过区区一张纸，而且化妆除了靠技巧，靠天分，靠经验，是还有靠‘心’的。说真的，要看我认真的样子，就是我在帮人化妆的时候，我真的很用心的。

总结来说，今天很开心，因为梦想慢慢逼近。。。

除此之外，当你成功把一个平凡的女生改造成功，是真的真的很满足的。^^

还有还有，跟s.wen合作是很开心的，她不但手很巧，还很有创意~^^

unfair

2009-03-13T03:15:00.000-07:00

Things nvr been fair rite?
i shud hav accept this fact earlier~~
Is this meaning that GOD is giving something that i need?
>>>the courage to accept any IMPERFECT, UNFAIR, IMPURITY in my life~~~

Again, the feeling is attacking me again~~~:(

UKM NEW TUNE LIVE PERFORMANCE XII IS CUMING SOON~~~

2009-03-08T23:56:00.000-07:00

Great news for everybody!!!!For those who r keen in music and dancing, u definitely cant miss this!!!

New Tune is organizing a live performance, all UKM students and nearby university's student are invited~~

DATE : 26/03/2009 (THURSDAY)
TIME : 7.00PM
VENUE : DECTAR, UKM
TICKET PRICE : RM8.00 PER TICKET

*THOSE WHO INTERESTED CAN CONTACT EVELYN 016-7049080

^^

finally

2009-03-08T05:26:00.000-07:00

Finally, back from midvalley.....was visiting to midvalley for the wedding exhibition and beauty fair....well well well, i'm not going to marry, i juz interested in the beauty fair. Neway, kinda disappointed coz not reli much is regarding beauty but lots of bridal booth.....well, sampat a while and listen to the package they r offering....the intention i'm sitting down is to scan the bridal make up....haha, n save it in my mind....

Then after finish 38-ing....shop for a while with cat, my SJI junior.... went to SASA, reli shop...haha....bought something...

Finally finally..i'm satisfied wiv today coz i've got my thing at least....hahha...n shopping always make a girl feel gd..lolz..

Neway, i'm tired after walking for whole day~~~

i'm a survivor instead of a life maker~

2009-02-27T09:58:00.000-08:00

Now is 2.05 a.m., and i still unable to get my ass out from the chair and get a very gd night sleep. Maybe used to this very unhealthy schedule where rush my assignments in this so damn early morning, not even dawn~~my health turn worse seriously, look so chan physically~~

Now is 2.08a.m., i'm still doing PA lab report plus scratching my itchy skin due to the mosquitoes bite while chating wiv one of my fren.....found that i got some psychology problem......i seem like lost the passionate of living....if u ask me wad's the purpose i live?i'll answer i dunno....so i doubt, y GOD makes us, then eventually HE still will bring us back to his side? Then wad's the purpose of living for years?Then my lil bro said:'coz God wanna determine whether the someone is entering heaven or hell...', wad a lovely answer.....i thought ppl who believe in GOD will enter heaven? if things is as simple as like this izzit gd?can someone who view this blog kindly drop ur comment bout this issues?i need pedomen so badly, desperately~~~

finally i can understand the diff of 'survive' and 'live'...

Find someone that can teach me how to 'live' my life to the fullest, but 'survive' in this world to the endless...

PLZZZZ~~~i'm just 21....*should i use 'just'*, i thought my life has juz started?but y it stucked here???

And now the clock hit 2.20a.m., i think i reli shud go n wash my face n get myself to sleep or else tml all the pimples will erupt like volcano on my face.......

*emo-talk: to all my dear frens, plz dun treat me that gd.....it's not worth to treat a ppl who love to be alone so gd, i'll feel that i owe u guys too much....maybe i'm still not used to the lifestyle currently.....:'(.....yes, i'm bloody emo today, dun ask me y, coz me myself not even know the answer..:'(*

now is 2.24 a.m.....urgh, i hate insomnia seriously....

伤心

2009-02-27T08:40:00.000-08:00

今早本来不怎么错的心情因为几个某人，而搞到乱七八糟。。。心顿时觉得被叉了三刀~最糟还是那个‘视而不见’的状况。。。有需要吗？然后整个下午也就没有很多话，因为都不想讲话了。不懂，觉得距离好像越来越大。。。不懂，还是大姨妈要来了，难免会过敏一点的~然后就开始头疼，躲在房里睡到晚餐时间，过后又跑去练舞了。

发现，做自己喜欢的事情会让心情好起来。。。过后几位朋友在练习钢琴，我也去八了一下。最后，还和lynn part了几首歌。她弹琴，我唱歌。只能说，她真的太厉害了，听了我唱几句就可以把我的key找出来，和她jam真的很爽~好久都没唱得那么过瘾了。朋友也许不知道，我不喜欢唱k，但我喜欢jam。就是旁边有人帮你伴奏。那种形成的火花, reaction是很vigrous的。早上本来很烂的心情也慢慢ok了点~下次一定要和她jam过，要完成我们的'how do i live'....

好想念felix噢~~我们最后一次jam是几时了？好像是2007年的月光晚会吧。当晚唱了jane,晴天~~哈哈，很怀念叻~~

bz bz bz~~~

2009-02-21T19:09:00.000-08:00

bz since i start my mid-sem...so many things to be done in this 2 weeks~~~~
urgh~~~

n finger cross dat we manage to get the house in tmn tenaga which 9 of us like it so much~~yaya, i'm moving to kajang, tmn tenaga instead of bangi, fasa 3...IF EVERYTHING GOES WELL LA~~~

hectic life

2009-02-17T03:48:00.000-08:00

mid sem test has started officially, n due to the cacat exam time table at bangi, my mid sem is dragged till early march....however, in between the exam period, i still hav to rush several assignments like nobody business.......so scary once think of it!!!!!!!!!!!

N ppl, i'll move to BANGI this june or july, n will spend the rest of my 3 years there.......sob sob....eventhough kl is quite near from bangi, but still, sigh.....quite leceh if wanna go home~~~

Well, is a gd experience though where we plan it all together, the 9 forensics heroes...now is still looking for house....this friday will go to c our first choice, might be the last choice i think...if yes, it would be our new house in bangi fasa 3~~~

lonely valentine

2009-02-13T20:45:00.000-08:00

happy valentine's day everyone~~~

i know this special occasion means a lot to some of you regradless u r attached, single or watever...haha, well, for me...i got no comments about this....juz another day which date is 14/2 for me...i bet outside there must be crowded wiv all the so-in-love couple, and maybe one bunch of frens who celebrate together....think i'm gonna miss this special date once again as i not reli got the mood to go out...

spend it with myself is a gd way i think so~~

AGAIN, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO EVERYONE OF U~~~MUACKSS MUACKSS~^^

*lonely valentine, but still i'm happy with it, ^^*

keanu reeves~~~

2009-02-11T07:18:00.000-08:00

I know i was kinda out-dated to post this.....

yesterday was watching 'constantine', a movie few years back, ya, yesterday only i watched it, thanks to my bro~~or else i would nvr hav watched it....

Keanu reeves is soooo handsome n man!!!no doubt when a man has reached certain age, the became mature, steady n sooo attractive....time do make a ppl change...so much~~

~keanu reeves in 'constantine'......

~a guy wiv mustache makes them look soooo 'MAN'~~~~

so sorry coz all the photos r very small in size, isnt clear at all......well, juz download any of his movie, matrix or constantine n hav a clear look.....'constantine' is reli a nice movie besides starring by a handsome man...i would call him 'man' rather than guy....back to the movie, the story line is gd, wiv nice visual effect and quite-not-bad eng, besides 'SOME' unpleasant words like 'asshole', n some others, couldnt remember..others quite gd indeed....

Well, juz cum up here to crap something that make up my day, besides buried under all the assignments n cuming soon mid-sem....urgh~~~

add oil to all my frens who is going to sit for the mid-sem exam...^^

randomlysome meaningful pieces from my lecture notes~yea, u're right, lecture notes~~

2009-02-06T02:33:00.000-08:00

Was trying to complete my assignment in malay...however, when i flip thru the notes, i found some interesting pieces within it...so blog here so dat can share wiv everybody~~
well, the subject related is 'pengurusan emosi', haha....

It's reli meaningful~~hopefully u guys able to get the hidden meaning from it...^^

Strength of a man
~strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders, it's seen in the width of his arms that circle you.
~strength of a man isn't how many women he's loved. It's in can be had be true to a woman.
~strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work. It's in how respected he is at home.

Ultimate measure
~The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands during challenge and controversy.(Martin Luther King, Jr, 1929-1968)

The beauty of a woman
~The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figures she carries.
~The beauty of a woman must be seen for in her eyes. Because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love insides.
~It's the caring the she lovingly gives. The passion that she loves.

Money money money
~money can buy you a bed but not a sleep.
~money can buy you books but not knowledge.
~money can buy you food but not appetite.
~money can buy you clothes but not sense.
~money can buy you a house but not home.
~money can buy medicine but not health.
~money can buy you luxuries but not happiness.
~When character is lost then everything is lost. But, when money is lost, not everything is lost.
~Money can buy you.

When you are old...
~The day that you see me old, and i'm already not, have patience and try to understand me.
~If i get dirty when eating, if i cannot dress...have patience, remember the hours when i spent teaching it to you.
~If, when i speak to you, i repeat the same things thousand of times, do not interrupt me, and listen to me...when you were...when i do not want to...
~When you see me ignorance on new technologies, give me the necessary time and not look at me with your mocking smile.
~I taught you how to do so many things, to eat good, to dress well, to confront life...when at some moment, I lose my memory or the thread of our conversation...let me have the necessary time to remember...and if i cannot do it, do not become nervous...as the most important thing is not my conversation but surely to be with you and to have you listening to me...
~And when my tired legs not allow me to walk, give me your hand, the same way i did when you gave me your first step.
~And when someday, when i say to you that i do not want to live anymore, that i want to die, do not get angry, someday you will understand.
~Try to understand that my age i not lived but survived.

ok~~~get back to my assignments!!!!!!!i'm buried under assignments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
N hate it soooooo much when u got a terrible teammate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

回家

2009-01-30T22:45:00.000-08:00

不晓得是不是那天去了coco banana和姐妹们club了后，第二天七早八早又到系友家拜年，不够睡的缘故，昨晚睡了整整十个小时，头还是疼疼的。。。

觉得最近和家人的沟通出现问题，没有两三句就吵架，搞到我都在怀疑是自己有问题吗？没办法，达不到共识，channel不对，说什么，做什么都是错。。。

前几天，跟妈妈吵，昨天，跟爸爸吵。。。加上中午他打来那一通电话，心情变得超烂。。。为什么他又要找上我。。。

晚上睡觉前，听着手机播放着的歌。。。听着的都是催泪情歌。。。

听着‘不许哭’，泪水在眼睑边缘打滚了。。。
听着‘我不想忘记你’，那句‘我在用想念狂欢寂寞’，加上之后的歌词，泪水就止不住了。。。
为什么会哭？
我承认有一部分是因为他，但很大部分是因为家人的关系。。。
总觉得大家都不明白对方。。。
竟然想second year快点到来，想搬到远一点，不然又被他们说我不爱回家，宿舍有这样好住吗？
但他们不明白我那段时间很忙，几乎每天都在练舞，周末也有练舞，不然就是相关活动，他们以为我想不回家吗？

也许在他们眼中21岁没有很大。。。但我希望他们了解一个21岁的女生需要的是什么？
我希望他们了解，我需要自由，我还会向他们保证我会好好照顾自己。。。
我希望他们了解，我需要空间，我还会向他们保证我会回家。。。
但他们不了解。。。
而他们要我了解的，我不了解~
他们要我经济独立。。。
请告诉我，读书期间我要如何分身去打工？

太多太多的意见分岔出现，
我知道大家都很压力，
其实自己也很压力了。。。
我不希望下次会闹翻，然后真的搞到自己不想回家，
因为那时‘家’对我来说，没有特别意义了~

我们的距离被拉远了~~

是我的问题吗？

Lost~

2009-01-28T08:43:00.000-08:00

Life is bloody lost without GOD by my side.....

CNY AT IPOH~~

2009-01-28T00:05:00.000-08:00

Cny is here finally.....actually i'm very excited despite of the arguement i juz had wiv my mom few days back...err, i hav calm down lar~~dun worry...^^

As usual, back to ipoh for celebration...but compared to previous year, dis year de reli sien sial lar~~~thought will back to pantai remis as well to meet with my lovely cousin, how cum the plan spoilt as my dad wan to go back earlier, scare traffic jam wor, kononnya~~sob sob, so sad~~~reli sad ar!!!

'Third day' of lunar calender nia, daddy yell wanna go back to kl edi....=.=...

Neway, first day i went to cameron highlands....but i was trapped in the traffic more than i go walk walk.....thought can visit to the 'boh' tea garden as my aunt said it's very nice....due to the traffic, end up we din go anywhere, but TOILET and some small stalls instead....wanna get some nice nice souvenir for frens oso cant..sorry ar~~sob sob...most of the time juz sit inside the car nia la....so bored.....

then second day went to auntie's place...ntg much actually....chit-chat-eat, then go to jaya jusco....bought something to bring back to hostel de, kakakka, so fast.....hahha.....

Third day eary in the morning>>>>'WAKE UP LE, WANNA GO BACK TO KL EDI!!'
WTF, i not even start enjoy my new year lo....sigh...u c, 3 days juz pass like dat...yer~~~~

Lately not reli got the mood to take lots of photo lar~~~
dat's all i got i i think it's presentable enough de...hahahha...

~on the way to cameron highlands....the sky very nice right?^^

~trap inside the car...the traffic sux!!!luckily daddy bought me some strawberry....dat day only i realised my family members none of them like strawberry, they claimed that it's very sour rather than sweet....err, but i like it so much leh, is LOVE, sorry*, haha....ya, it's sour, after that can taste the sweetness edi, haha, gd, nobody rampas wiv me at least...lolz...:p

~dis one>>>cacat de strawberry..haha, but it's cute....lolz...

~we shut the aircond, n scroll down the car window....it's so windy n cool.....i reli reli so in love with the weather there....skin complexion becum much better after long live at there also....unlike kl, HOT DAO~~~~lolz, the way i wear doesnt look like i liv in malaysia, hahha....~

~nah, dis one ss de....haha....then try to capture some photos wiv ang pau de n send to gor gor at russia there....so kesian him leh, not coming back dis year n reunion wiv his loved ones, so as a mui mui i let him feel some new year 'feel' ba...kakkaka....

Well, that's all for my new year........soooooo blooddyyy de siennn right??

faster recover leh....well, i dont mean that i hav fallen sick, but my mood still very low lately...dunno y~~sigh~~~

Neway, dun 'sigh', 'sigh' anymore, not gd........i wish all of you happy chinese new year, hope u all hav a wonderful n prosperous ox year!!!!GONG XI FATT CHAI~~~:p

i'm so sad today....

2009-01-24T07:56:00.000-08:00

Today, supposed a great family day for me after so long....but she spoilt everything, end up argue on the dinner desk, n got scolded by her seriously.....i dun wan talk to her unless i hav calm down....my new year mood has spoilt by her...guess i wont hav a 'happy' chinese new year dis year.....:'(

Is money so important to her till she can ignore the happiness of a family shud hav??
Y she so stuborn?
i'm trying to talk to her, my bro tried, my dad tried, no use!!
her ears juz as hard as a rock, wont listen to any~~
i reli lazy to talk to her anymore, waste my saliva also....

Y she nvr think r we reli happy wiv the decision she made?
Is she reli know wad we reli wan?
Y she juz so old-fashion n nvr try to understand our mind...
Does she know day by day, our mind distance will get larger?
Does she know we wont take each other in heart anymore if we r not at the same line??

#If money reli so important to u instead of FAMILY,
will u happy if i reli got the ability to earn big money, then every month i juz giv u money, i wont ask about ur condition, i wont chat wiv u, i cum back juz to giv u money n leave, will u HAPPY? Is money reli wad u wan in ur life time only?? dun let money affect our family bond can??#

#do u know whenever u tell me, i'm lazy, i'm troublesome, ask me stay at hostel, dun come back home, i very hurt??#

#bet u would nvr know coz u nvr wanted to know#

#not that i dunwan let u understand, but u nvr open ur heart n giv the chance to ur child to access their mind, so u would nvr understand ur own child#

i reli scared one day if anything happen to me, i wont tell u anymore.....coz i know u will scold me instead of understand my problem.....dat's y there r so many secret between us~~~:(

平静

2009-01-20T08:09:00.000-08:00

虽然最近的生活没有很精彩，但想寻求平静的念头却越来越强。
我指的平静是很抽象的平静，所以不要叫我形容。。。
觉得人生走到一个点之后，就会升华得很快。。。
我是不是老了?
当一切一切都超越不了之前所经历的，那那些所谓超越不了的还有什么意思?
你们明白我在说什么吗?
今天和契哥哥sms了一会儿，问他回来大马后能不能带我到教堂一趟，出发点是抱着一颗想要寻找平静的心。
总觉得神圣的地方是那么的纯洁，宁静，原始，可以短暂性的逃离一切不必要的烦恼，暂时性的找到依靠，寄托。。。
就很想静静地坐在那里，省思。。。还有与神，与自己对话。。。

想一想:如果要上帝爱你，周遭的的人爱你，那首先就要先自爱。。。。自爱，是一个我一直都做不好的地方。。。

终于

2009-01-19T01:55:00.000-08:00

终于忙完一切，但很抱歉，没有任何相关照片与大家分享的。

不晓得为什么，自从上次不小心将手机记忆卡里的照片删除掉后，竟然看开一些事情。
有时，回忆只是仅限于过去。当自己忙起来时，回忆算什么。没有东西是永久的~

相信昨天大家都一定high翻天，但坦白讲，今年参加活动的过程中，很多时候是不开心的，感觉上都是自己一个人，所以只是希望它赶快完成。有，感动还是会有，但就是那么一下子。也许对我来说意义没有很大，所以也没有多大感触，因此也没有什么冲动要拍很多很多照片之类的~

到底怎么了，很讨厌那种感觉。我的直觉是准的吗?还是是我想太多?

哎~~本小姐又病倒了。。。早些前就是发烧，过不久后就泄肚子，刚开始以为是食物中毒，但看了医生，吃完了药，还是泄，泄了整整一个星期，看了第二次医生才懂自己是viral infection。好啦，现在没泄了，但开始感冒了，包了很多云吞噢~真是病猫一个。。。。。

...

2009-01-14T23:00:00.000-08:00

I've been missing in action since last week i think...
haha.....
Well, finish my course night finally~~
it was a wonderful night indeed... will post the photos after i got all ya...hahah...

after that, focus in pap....3 days left~~

besides bz for all this, i also bz rushing to toilet...
i dunno wad happen to my stomach, mild food poisoning i think...
first day stomach reli pain dou~~
plus diarrhea, i spent my morning squading beside the toilet bowl...
cannot tahan till hav to enter 'accident and emergency' n get an injection...

today edi 4th day, but still i feel intestine discomfort....
the most important is i cant eat all the delicious fd.....
i only can eat all the soup noodles, so sien~~

title-less

2009-01-09T01:50:00.000-08:00

Finally, i hav back again to my bloggie~~~

Not reli hav story to be shared here, blog maybe juz to maintain my 'existance', how sad it is...when there is no special occasion to blog about...

Still bz-ing for PAP n course night stuff......For PAP, i've got the chance to join their mv shooting n recording, so bloody fun!!!!hahahha......i'm so excited n cant wait to c the outcome~~~*peace*

N i hav officially start my lecture class this week.....assignments start coming in....Well, this sem i hav the courage to take up PUBLIC SPEAKING dis sub. It's a new attempt for me to become a better speaker especially in front of public (i always hav the stage fright)...Well, first class rather bored actually....madam is the one who talking non-stop in front, we r the passive one, sitting there listening to her 'talk', introduction la, hahaha......suddenly i thought of JULIUS YEE from my ex school, he is the BEST PUBLIC SPEAKER i've ever met in my life so far.....He is such eye-catching wiv his clear voice n almost perfect pronunciation, attractive non-verbal communication n etc...like for me, i'm those ppl who easily get bored wiv all the speechs n lectures, n he manage to catch everybody's attention when he is talking in front.... obviously he has put in lots of effort in order to become a public speaker, n this makes him turn out as 1st runner up for public speaking at international level last year.... Whole St.John Institution is proud of him~~^^

And another sub that is reli kiling me is the physical chemistry, as we hav to do all the lecture notes on our own...n as for now, i seriously lack of time to do so, n filter as well as digest every topic that he has assigned us. neway, it's a gd way to teach, or else we juz salin babi buta, our brain would nvr start turning...

Another sub tat can cure insomnia--->>TITAS (something about tamadun islam)wow, dis one i tell u, seriously will fall asleep during his class...the way he talks>>SLOW; the way he teachs>>BORED...urrr~well,maybe i shudnt keeps on complaining, as i might not better than him if i was in his shoes....like very irrespect him nia, haha....but i juz hope that he can be more interesting to make this bored sub a lil bit more fun, or else all the notes will become hypnotic nia~~

Conclusion of the week----->>busy dancing, bz wiv lecture class, n not reli in gd condition....hormonal problem appears again, i hate it so much, make me look so dull n cham~~~*suicide*

shooting day~

2009-01-03T23:21:00.000-08:00

Wow, wad a tiring day.....woke up early in the morning, n went for the PAP mv shooting....my ever first time involve in this kind of activity, it's fun though....hahaha

Went to titiwangsa for several shooting scene, walk here n der, retake n retake in order to get the best scene.....n of coz in the middle we did made lots of fun n cracked lots of jokes....everybody juz non-stop laughing....

~was too bored while waiting for them to finish the shoot....

After that went back to KTSN, our hostel, n finishing the remain one....N it takes us about half day to finish a mv, wow....it's sooooo tiring...

After that, gonna go for dance practice summore, of coz after i take a nap......both course night n PAP.....

Haha, my life juz soooo packed with all kinds of activities lately......n of coz not forget to mention about the marketing operation yesterday...walk along chow kit for half day also......man, exhausting!!!!!!but it's fun la, haha, nice experience......:p

SAY HI TO 2009, BYE TO 2008

2009-01-01T01:08:00.001-08:00

Huhu~~~yesterday i was counting down in my hostel....coz not reli feeling like go out.sory to yean they all as i ffk them......

Was cooking drama for the whole night after back from bangi...then eleven something got down from my blok n gather wiv all my coursemate.....hanging around the compund, feel the fresh cool breeze at titiwangsa area.....well, the night sky isnt breathtaking, kl wad...=.=...badly polluted....pity to the nature~~

We r waiting for the moment to pass, welcoming the new year together...we dunno the time exactly...but we look at the sky, the fireworks decorating the night sky indicates that year 2008 has come to an end, n it's time for us to start a brand new life in 2009.....

We look to the direction where KLCC located, coz that's the area we'll c the fireworks....we r ready~~haha......n we also c lots of uni-mates from diff courses like optometry, pharmacy, dentistry, dietatics, nutri, speech therapy, biomedic n of coz forensics. we wish each other happy new year like sial, juz like the hostel left us nia, din consider those who r sleeping, we shout la wei, hahahha.....from our hostel not reli can c the fireworks but can hear the sounds clearly, heart juz feel very itchy la, can hear but cannot c......

After that, we went to cafe n sit together wiv biomedic students, crapping here n der...somebody reli cracks lots of jokes, cool one, lame one, all of us laugh our lungs out~~crapping also consume us roughly 2 hours, when i got back to my room, it's already 2am....sit down n calm myself down, dis is the pure happiness i've been lost, n i'm craving for it so badly before i found it again...a simple joke can make me laugh non-stop.... how many ppl can realize the real meaning of dat??--pure happiness...

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION:
~study well, to be specific, hopefully can get 3.5 n above for my 2nd sem...i muz ganbatte...^^
~hatch the 'egg', i mean our UKM score, still dont get me??haha, simple one, get a bf asap...haha...
~earn money.i dunwan worry for my economic anymore lar~~~
~happy everyday....^^

LASTLY~~~~~HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!WISH U ALL HAV A WONDERFUL AND BLASTING YEAR 2009 AHEAD.....^^

i'm here again~~~

2009-01-01T01:01:00.000-08:00

heyyyooo~~~sorry to all the readers for the lack updates as i'm very very seriously bz for the dance practices as i'm running two sides. Course night dancing and Pesta Ang Pau dancing....The time is juz sooo packed for me, everytime after practising the course night contemp dance till half way then i gonna go for PAP pure traditional chinese dance......N hav to skip meal sometimes...neway, sometimes kinda enjoy the process as i luv to dance, well, stress still will attack me occassionally especially for the course night one....

Wish all the PAP members gd luck n thanks to all of them...sorry to den coz i seem like abandone the project le...well, i'm still trying my best....^^

i'm sick~~~:(

2008-12-27T20:36:00.000-08:00

Have been back to hostel for 3 days....n i hav fell sick for the second day.

First day, reach hostel about 10 something in the morning, clean up the juz renovated room for few hours.....then went for dance practice....contemporary reli can kill man!!plus it's been history that i dance contemp.....at night practise another dance, pure chinese traditional dance....it's juz so tak biasa for me to handle the 'chinese fan'....

Second day, that's where the story start.7am stomach-ache till wake up, after went toilet, sleep again till 10.30am, then 11am went lot 10 n setapak to settle something till about 5pm, rest for about half an hour go to find joyce n tell her i cant practise today as i reli reli sick....fever+muscle ache+intestine discomfort.....not reli eaten...cant even finish half of my 'brunch', my dinner either...then sleep from about 9pm till the second day...woke up in the middle of the night due to the mosquitoes.....so damn itchy man!!!!

Third day, felt better at first.....but dunno y, i'm not reli feeling ok after few hours i got up.....diarrhea, starting to headache again.....took medicine juz now....n now wanna get back to my bed........oh God, i'm juz very very sick~~~:(

christmas eve outing~~

2008-12-24T21:06:00.000-08:00

Finally~~~~i manage to club again, it was half year back for my last clubbing, miss the feeling though...

Well, met some new friends yesterday, ah king's frens, money's frens, and frens that knew in club, but i would nvr remember the name for those i knew at dance pool, coz seriously i cant hear wad they r 'shouting' beside my ears....it was sooo noisy inside, and so damn packed....

Haha, guess who i met?i was so suprising meeting they all u know~~before enter club, denson pass by me...yes, the senior..so suprising saw him der...he cant reg me at first, so din stop me, luckily i can reg him??hahha~~

Then after entering poppy, angeline, my klcc colleague approach me, omg, itu reli 'pou ka'...then saw sandy, joyce....hahha, very happy seeing them oso......okla, got dance a while~~

Then we went up to the passion bar, but i found the music not my type, it's more for boys to do shuffle...so i always go down to poppy, i juz enjoy the feeling of dancing in the dance pool....lolz~~

~haha, dis girl, milo, we r falling for each other for the first sight, we juz knew actually but like knowing for so long like dat, miss her leh.......reli enjoying club wiv her de, we juz look alike, physically(they said so), n mentally, i think so....hahha....aiya, girl, so ke xi we din get wad we wish.....next time we ganbatte ya.....^^hahhaha~~

~all the girls, milo, yean, me, money n phoebe~~~^^

~all the boys, yong zhi, ah king, me(i'm not a boy k?)ah hau and owen....

~group photos......club again next time, hahahha..luv u guys~~~~MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

~meeee.........i realize i hav gained weight SERIOUSLY......nvm, hopefully i can slim down after start practising dance......

In a nut shell, yesterday was a happening night for me......'result' ar?not bad la....hahah.....
MERRY CHRISTMAS to all the readers ya.....

emo talk: yesterday i accidentally delete everything in my phone...all the songs, photos, EVERYTHING HAS GONE~~~yesterday was the first time i wish to turn back time soooo badly....all the memories r priceless....:'(

outing AGAIN~~~

2008-12-24T01:27:00.000-08:00

Well well well, honestly, dis week hor, my daily routine juz work, then steven corner's stuff then outing...it was a packful week for me~~~n everyday sleep around 2am...gosh!!!!!my health reli hancur~~~

Neway, yesterday out again, WINGS again, sji frens again.....hahha, chai, sean, wei loon, wei loon's fren, li jia, kelly n wen shiuan...well, juz normal chating, ask about their late life as some of them juz back to malaysia....

~li jia n i.....she juz came back from Australia not long ago...sem break till next year feb...so good~~happy seeing u girl~~

~darling shiuan n i, she's is doing statistic in UM....

~me n kelly....

~mr.wei loon n i.....haha, after that we took some funny pictures...but i'm not going to post.....hahhaha....*so secretive*...hahaha.....dis fella physics n maths freak, doing material science and engineering in NUS.....gd luck ya dear....haha....:P

~wl's fren, me n wl.....his fren quite talkative de, from vietnam....doing chemistry in NUS also....

After that i called up my frens ask for tml's plan....christmas eve wad...n finally i hav decided today, will go poppy...hahha....poppy, i'm coming~~~thought wanna go quattro de, but suddenly cancel coz jeff having fd poisoning, take k ya my fren....nvm, suddenly yean sms me ask me wanna club tonight, lolz, i juz 'sai le lang' la....too bad jj cant follow as he is engaged wiv drama...next time ba~~

Haha, cant wait to enjoy le....lolz, half year din club man!!!

N ya, MERRY CHRISTMAS to all the readers ya...^^

malay's wedding

2008-12-24T00:39:00.000-08:00

~the weather is so nice....today i'm attending a malay fren's wedding....he is my coursemate...so i'll go meet all the chinise boy at titiwangsa station first~~the skies r blur, plants r green....feeling comfortable when staring at it...

~the raja sehari....hasnu n his wife....

~me n the forensics boys~~~

~intan, adilah n i....

~i wish them 'white head untill old'.....hahha.....xin hun kuai le oo....^^

beginning a new life>>lady

2008-12-22T07:51:00.000-08:00

~Kelly Lin Xi Lei....only wiv one glance, the 'sexy-ness' enough to kill u~~

~She can be so sweet n gorgeous as well.....

~Sarah Jessica Parker...she's very femine u know~~

Juz now chat wiv money....suddenly she said she's old edi...i ask y??u're juz 20, ur life juz start girl~~then she answered me:"20, no change", direct translate from cantonese lar~~(e jiong mou dek zhao)

Suddenly it makes me realize dat i hav gone through 20 years of life~~~n wad hav i achieved?seems like ntg...

N i start realizing how life can be such amazing?from a sperm+secondary oocyte=ovum (sorry for being such DETAILS)>>zygote>>embryo>>foetus>>baby>>kid>>teenager>>lady>>woman aka auntie>>old woman aka old auntie aka popo.....AMAZING rite?

N analyzying the sequence above, i'm currently in the stage of lady.....

Watching all the drama, movie, wad a 'lady' shud be?mature?sexy?young?

If let me choose a 'lady' as a target...i would choose the Carrie Bradshaw(Sarah Jessica Parker in the movie 'Sex And The City', she's so independent, intelligent, gorgeous, so got taste wiv her life n etc....dat's my aim...haha....well, the taiwan artist--Lin Xi Lei oso not bad, she's sooooo sexy even juz wiv a tee n jeans pants....the 'sexy-ness' is from inside...*pictures available above*sorry for the faulty sequences....my fault my fault...hahaha...write till half only feel like wanna post photo~~

Haha, obviously i just start my 20-.....bid gdbye to my teenage.i shud start enjoying a new life of a 'lady' shud hav....i think this is the stage where a girl manage to change so much...in terms of physical outlook, mentality development, the attitude (the most important one, A TERRIBLE ATTITUDE WILL MAKE OTHERS THINK THAT YOU ARE CHILDISH AND LOOK STUPID)....i'm changing no doubt...^^

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman...song from Britney Spears....ya, i'm no longer a girl right now....i'm a lady....PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, N BIOLOGICALLY....lolz, 'biologically', sounds funny...ahahha....lolz, secondary sex mah biologically lor~~~hhaahha.....

stay tune readers~~

2008-12-21T07:30:00.000-08:00

so sorry to all my dear readers due to my lack update...coz dis week i'm seriously bz wiv working....neway, all the article-coming-soon r all in progressing.....stay tune...*wink*

hehhehe, another suprise~~thanks my dear-zzzz....

2008-12-20T09:31:00.000-08:00

I hav promised chai 19th of dec i'll belanja him red wine..and b4 dat he always keeps on reminding me:'dun forget ya, dun forget 19th red wine ya~~~'....i juz...=.=....okok uncle, i'm not having Alzheimer's disease lar~~~

Ok, so that day has finally reached....After i finish my work at KLCC at 6pm....i wait for chai to fetch me around 9pm....so i stay for a while more at my counter, well, no paid is being made for staying OT....n i oso use the opportunity to explain the cafe project to my permanent...ya, i'm part time doing a cafe project to earn some side income....is a very gd project to join lar~~~hahah....no point, poor student gotta work very hard to earn more money...99.9% i'm not going to apply JPA...sigh...confusing~~>.<

~me me me, inside chai chai's car..he is buying movie ticket...n then hor, curi-curi simpan 3 more, show me 2 nia..we watched Ip Man.nice movie~~~i cried~~~sob sob...

~hahhaha, reli suprising when i saw sean, kelly n jeff bump out behind me holding the cake wiv candle lighted on.....so suprising n so touched~~~heart u guys a lot....haha, they r celebrating my birthday for me...coz they were all bz wiv exam during my birthday....

~after make a wish....hehehe.....^^

~me n mr.chai....thanks for the planning.....second time u guys celebrating for me le....i still remember first time u cheat me that u involved in an accident near my place, i reli going to rush out le, pc oso din on...then i saw u guys holding a cake....:p...then dis year cheat me again....haha, y we will only get suprised after being cheat ya??ahhaha...

~hearts them a lotttt~~~jeff, kelly, me, chai n sean~~~

~guess i met who?i met kai ting, a girl knew from kaki corner de....she was the top 10 for pop star singing comp....and wad a coincidence, she's having a show at wings cafe dat night....ganbatte oo girl~~u reli can sing very very nice~~^^

~group pic wiv kai ting..

~another singer we met, vivian, one of the top 10.....was my tuition mate, haha...add oil girl, u oso very geng in singing~~

After that we went for movie lo....u know, i so useless....hav u all seen a girl cry when watching 'kung fu' movie??is kong fu movie, not those love story like 'titanic', or 'money not enough use 2' from SGP de....kung fu movie er, n i go n cry......zadou 999999~~~~well, it's a very nice movie overall.storyline is gd, the quality of the movie id gd too, in terms of graphic n their kung fu skill....'zhen zi dan', the main actor so bloody yeng~~~sooooooo my type la, hahah..*blush*

Again i went back home around 2am something, sleep at 3am like dat..next day rest, luckily~~~

reli reli super tired~~~but it's all worth it..^^

hou Q sien ar~~

2008-12-17T22:03:00.000-08:00

Oh God, Ntg to blog about my life...everyday juz stay at home ON9....urgh!!!!!

well, slept for sooo long these few days...the longer i sleep, the more tired i feel...msg cum i oso dun k, reli reply short short, i juz wanna sleep.....

neway, going out soon, to petaling street...haha, a place that i reli dont pay a visit for ages....lolz....lots of memories there~~haha, dat was during my high school life with all the so-damn-pack tuition classes.....

emo-talk:stupid me, y am i angry at u due to this.....we arent ANYBODY in each other's heart....we r juz FREN...i shudn't ask the question that i already knew the answer....

PC fair of Dec 2008

2008-12-14T23:49:00.000-08:00

Sorry to all the readers for my lack update as i was busying for PC fair for the past few days, the three days were reli hectic for me.....Actually the day before PC fair, i was also work full time shift at parkson KLCC, then the next day start PC fair edi, i was just....=.=...very very tired...And i end up sleep until 1.30pm today, the first day after i finish my PC fair...

Second time work in PC fair, it was reli happy, i'm feeling contented coz i was occupied, i luv to talk, no doubt, n meeting diff kinds of ppl....n i do reli enjoy working wiv all my colleagues....Even though we juz knew each other, but after we finish the PC fair, the feeling is sooooo....wow~~dunno how to describe it....felt some kind of relief maybe...hopefully can meet wiv them again the next PC fair....

~meeee....first day working....i was selling Lenovo notebook....

~haha, i prefer white colour uniform...2nd day of working.....left-right: lenovo show girl(sim), me n yenn....

~me n yenn...thanks for intro girl...2nd time working together wiv her edi...first time was toshiba...kakkaka.....^^

~me n sue yin....lolz, she said she likes me the most among the girls....kakaka, i luv u too girl....^^

~chloe n i...she's so pretty....but so sad we r not working at the same booth...

~jess, me n aiya, forgot the name edi, so sorry ar....i'm not good in memorizing ppl's name....but i remember ur look....i once wrongly reg the girl n ask her whether she's came from titiwangsa girl school, coz reli look alike...hahah...

Others i din take photo coz lack of time n lots of them go back right after the PC fair....somebody who i reli need to mention here like Felix, ah Ching, Damian, Alan, the one who look like artist, Faruoq, Fousal n lots....reli happy working wiv u guys~~^^

And actually frist day i misunderstand faruoq...i thought he wanna rampas my customer n 'boh song' him, but after that he explain to me n i do apologize, i felt better after we hav made things clear...u know la, personal commission wor, everybody oso wanna earn money lo....so sure will happen dis kind of things....one thing, i reli learnt a lot regarding computer stuff....that's the bonus i gain....hehe....

Well, met lots of frens within these 3 days....met kok loon, chiling, cindy, zhu huey, they r exhibitors as well; in terms of visitors n customers, i met denson, my titiwangsa frens, Pn. Rubiah, Yong Chang teacher (drama instructor for ukm pesta tanglung), wan ting's mom, jeff, chee sum, Adi (my pjkn fren), Alex (once my Toshiba customer), A girl wer i din asked her name (once my Paul & Joe cosmetic brand customer), Sze Nee n etc....i couldnt remember all... Some reli shocked seeing them...haha...

I remember before PC fair i was sooooo down, but i do feel contented during pc fair, i din think about sad stuff anymore, i actually very got ohm to do sales...juz when reached the 3rd day, i was suffering from dry lips n ulcer...cham...=.=....

Well well, it has ended officially....shud get myself enough rest n think about the DANCE stuff....clean up my room...look for other part time job maybe, b4 i start my second sem....hehehhe...^^

~~

2008-12-09T21:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday about 8pm sms chai to ask whether he is free later....juz still not reli in mood, wanna go somewhere else rather than staying at home....not necessary need to talk, i'm ok if juz sitting der quietly doing ntg...i still dunno wad's wrong wiv me..

Well, 10.30pm, he came over to KLCC to pick me up n we went to Wing's cafe.....Nvr thought to 'drink' tonight....however since the wine's lover recommended me wan to hav 'drink' tonight? I said 'YES'....this is the first time i consume alcoholic drinks due to sadness....Last time whenever i drink, i drink it for fun.....Dis time i drink it wiv a purpose...maybe wanna get drunk, so dat i can get rid of wadever problem i'm having now....

~well, only 3...each of us share one a half bottle....the percentage of alcohol is so low n doesnt cause me to get drunk, juz abit dizzy~~~

~randomly

~so fast, christmas is coming soon......i hope this year i've got something to do wiv my christmas eve.....ah moi, spare that day for me ya...:p

~last glass of HOEGAARDEN WHITE BEER....

comment on the beer: The white beer we ordered yesterday was imported one, the waiter said so..so the taste is smoother than our local beer...It doesnt taste bitter n coarse at all..However, when i first drink juz like drinking tap water...cant reli feel dat it's beer...well, after few minutes, the alcohol start acting on me...can c dat i'm not a gd drink-er...i easily get drunk....well, my mind still clear, juz a lil bit dizzy~~

We talked quite lot today, about life, bout my problem...seems like i'm facing a blunt end in my life. I'm just 20, y am i feeling all this juz like i'm an old woman?haha, dun ask me y~~maybe i'm entering another phase of life... This one only time can heal~~

不要记得呼吸~~

2008-12-08T08:48:00.000-08:00

如果，
如果我真的就这样逃离这个世界，
我会不会快乐一些？
我知道我不会。

前进也不对，倒退也不对，
现在是怎样？
不上不下，不前不后。。。

你们懂那种被撕裂的感觉吗？
你们懂那种不懂方向的感觉吗？
你们懂那种身边没有人的感觉吗？
你们懂当你们不懂自己要什么的感觉吗？

听着伍先生的‘需要你’，又让我想起不该想的画面。。。
现在真的相信了，
回忆是怎么都不会被潜意识遗忘的。。。
但，我想起的，
不是最近已经让我死心的你，
不是那个我已看透一切的你，
而是，很久很久以前，
那个我很想好好爱的你。。。

突然很想睡死就算了，
甘愿起身才起来。。。
当你已经不懂该怎么好好过活，
但生活还是你的全部时，
那种感觉是空到~~~~

可以将自己挖空吗？
可以掏空一切什么也不要想吗？
可以不要记得怎样呼吸吗？
可以不要记得那一首歌会想什么人，
不要记得那一种味道是属于哪一个人，
不要记得。。。

很想shut down一切一切~~~

wad i wan?

2008-12-08T07:35:00.000-08:00

aduh~reli am dui ar today!!!personal sales reach about 2k, but got no commission!!!am dui or not!!!

Sigh, dun talk about dat~~it doesnt a matter for me though...

Talk about my life?
Well, so so lately, sometimes work sometimes not...
I get enough sleep everyday, i can eat well...
well, i'm healthy overall..

But y am i feeling dat again?
wad'll u c when u c a figure walking wiv no soul??
CORPSE!!
YA, u r right!!i hav no difference wiv corpse for the time being...
I feel dat i'm so darn poor~~
not in terms of money, but in terms of mentality development...

I know i'm not lacking of rest-ness,
i know i'm not lacking of sleeping hours,
money?dun think so...
i'm still living happily wiv my family...
i'm alright wiv my frens, maybe juz lack of contact lately...
i found dat i'm lazy to maintain a relationship,
so i think i deserve to be lonely all these while..

I always thought dat when i get enough rest, hav a reli gd time wiv myself,
no longer bz wiv uni stuff, no torturing exam, no burning midnight oil,
can lay at my cosy bed for 24 hours, can shop, i would get happier~~~
but no....
i'm not lacking of all those stuff, i'm not feeling happy or contented or wad so ever by getting rid of all those stuff that i always think dat they r scary n peeling me off~~

life would get terrible when the life planner-shud-be himself/herself has no further plan for his/her life, or the life planner got ntg to do wiv his/her life...
I think those busy ppl would feel like punching me and beating me up for not appreciating the precious leisure hours that i've got....
ya, i know i'm wasting my life..
i got no passion in my life anymore....
i dunno wad is a meaningful life anymore...
i dunno wad i wan~~~

#if i got a perfect boyfriend aka dream man currently, am i happy?
if i got a platinum card, n i can shop wad so ever i wan without the need to clear the monthly statement, will i feel contented?
if i'm now living in a bungalow wiv perfect designed, highclass furniture, need not to worry bout my living, will i get happier?
if my life is now full with party, activities, learning all the stuff i wished to learn without worrying the tuition fees, will i get happier?
if my life story juz like those 'disney movie', live happily every after with my lovely family, n ppl whom i love, am i reli happy?#

The answer is NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!NONE OF THAT WILL MAKE ME HAPPIER~~
then GOD, Plz Tell Me Wad I Wan??!!

WAD I RELI WAN HUH??
WAD I RELI WAN?
WAD I RELI WAN?
WAD I RELI WAN?

~WHO CAN GIV ME A SOLUTION?AN ANSWER?~

I'M LOST

The days in perak~~

2008-12-07T06:19:00.000-08:00

Well well well, i'm back finally...actually juz went back hometown for 3 days nia~~the feeling juz like u eat something very nice+delicious+special, but u only manage swallow it to ur throat rather than ur stomach, the fd juz like wandering along ur alimentary canal~~~arghhhh!!!cant reach satisfaction~~~

Before reaching pantai remis, we actually went to Teluk Intan/Teluk Anson to refrensh my dad's childhood n teenage-hood memories as he grew up there and received education there...juz went there n hang around for a while before moving to pantai remis. Then he purposely pass by his secondary school--->>>St. Anthony High School....Wow, sounds not bad rite~~haha, i was once from St. John Institution...lolz, bangganya~~and of course not to forget my titiwangsa girl school which i hav my crazy memories there, hahah~~this made me think dat izzit when ppl found themselves grow older, they tend to refresh everything back n find any possible earlyhood's memories they left behind their life. Well, we dont stay long, coz all of us yawn-ing for hunger~~

Hehe, reached Pantai Remis finally~~~ermm, it was quiet actually, coz my aunt went penang, one cousin sis has outed, so left not much at home, so we actually did ntg there...

Second day early morning, depart to Taiping, which is the main destination we supposed to go.
Once i reached the doorstep, grandpa welcoming me wiv his wrinkled-eyes smiling face, so warm-hearted. This is the first time i saw him eversince he dischagred from hospital last few weeks ago after the heart operation. I heard my aunt said next year May will do again as that time the doctor cant manage to operate all the 4 arteries in one shot cause his kidneys dont really funtioning well, so he cant withstand the pressure applied during operation. Finger-crossed, he will be alright~~Then saw my grandma, she was busy cooking, hahaha~~

AND AND I SAW TWO LIL CUTIEESSS~~~~OMG, I WAS SOOO SUPRISING SEEING THEM~~TADDAAA--->>>it's two baby kittens.....awwww, they r so lovely, heart them a lott...

~the innocent look, cats r expert in dis i know.....this one very naughty ooo~ n when she's eating(ya, she is a girl), cant disturb her de oo, she will bite u or ' grwww~~~' u de ooo~~

~ya, i luv dis a lot, he is sooo cute, especially his fur....very fluffy~~~but he very very thin, unlike his sister above...he very 'yin jim' de leh(although he is not virgo), i hold the fish head in front of him he oso rejected to eat, dat's y he is skinny....n always got rampas food by his sis~~err, ignore my toes ya, haha...:p

Hehe, the next day which is the big day, opps!is my grandparents big days, haha, is birthday celebration lar, not marriage anniversary, hahahah~~~ groom myself up.err, not reli got time to make up myself as i was busying make up for my granny~~~

~reflection....

~the host of the day......grandma(popo), me, and grandpa(die die)...i wish them happy birthday and healthy always~~~

~mommy, me n daddy.....wow, so red huh~~~mommy, come, we kepp fit together, next time dun follow daddy out for supper la~~~>.<

Then chit-chat, talk, eat, walk here n der....FINISH~~~so fast...=.=

Ya, going back le...not satisfied rite??like din gain anything for this trip....

Err, or to be exact, wad i gain juz some new inner-wear and a pair of new sandal for the coming CNY~~~

No seaside....Juz like wad i predicted in my previous post......yerrr~~~i wan seaside so DESPERATELY LAR~~~~

~before going back, i wanna hug them....i gonna miss them so damn lot...they two very like me de, not i brag oo, even though juz 2 days...coz i always squad there n play around wiv them, sayang them, so after few times, once they saw me, they very energetic n always follow me le.....Bye bye my lovely baby kittens....hopefully u two still will remember me the next time i back to taiping again...

~HEART U BABY KITTENS~

Lastyly, i wish my grandparents HAPPY BIRTHDAY N HEALTHY ALWAYS ooo~~~^^

收拾=温习？？

2008-12-07T04:41:00.000-08:00

今早从巴生回来后，心血来潮地整理了衣柜，房间的书架。。。丢了很多很多本书。那些SPM的书被我留到现在才舍得丢，长情到~~~不过其实，每一个科目我还是收了一些，明知道自己是用不着，但还是不肯丢。。。给弟弟也没用，都换成英文了。。。也因为这样，无意间翻出以前收集的剪报。

以前有个习惯，就是看到有意思的稿件，都会一一剪下来收藏。哈哈，等下就可以一一回味了~~

有没有觉得，其实‘收拾’，是对自己日常生活的一种温习。
温习之前的惯性，温习之前的喜好，温习之前的心事，还有温习之前的回忆。觉得生命里，只有‘感觉’是温习不到的~~

记得小学手机还没发达的时候，每逢节日，大家都会亲手在卡片写上祝福，有些还会亲手精心制作。每个朋友的至少都会收一封，亲手制作的卡片是铁定会收藏的~

今天，随着时代变迁，科技越发达，人情味却越来越淡。。。当大家都不再提起笔时，取而代之的是简讯，伊媚儿等等，寄信与收信的那种感觉是十万八千里的不一样的。。。这个就是科技发达的坏处吧！

哈哈，写到这里突然想起去年年底从太平回来，看到客厅的收件箱有一封给我的信件，打开来看才知道是‘草莓’写给我的圣诞卡。。。好想念她哦~~我知道她有看我的blog的~~哈哈^^在这里我要对‘草莓’做个爱的宣言：“真的很想念你叻~~没错的话我们最后一次见面是2006年的圣诞节对吧~爱你哦！！^^”。今年年头还收到振真的贺年片，那种感觉真的真的很不一样的~~才发现，original怎样都是最好的~~哎~~人是不是永远都不会满足，永远都觉得还是从前最好，不然就说以后会更好，却很少会说现在已经很好了。。。

看来，回忆是上天赐给人类最好的礼物吧，至少‘他’让我们发现，我们曾经拥有过，哪怕是痛苦的，开心的~~

#别为了失去而痛哭，该为了曾经拥有而微笑~#

OH SHIT!OH SHIT!!OH SHIT!!!

2008-12-03T23:03:00.000-08:00

oh shit!oh shit!oh shit!!!!!
wad happen to my blog??
once i try to change the skin, it appears like dat, my archieve recorded gone, my 'about me' gone, my photo gone!!!!
oh!wad had happen???!!!!
sigh, now seriosuly lack of time to tackle everything out as i'm going off soon after my papa finish taking bath~~
yaya, i'm going back to hometown...
First, go to my cousin's place at pantai remis first, awwww~~miss them so much de~~
Then, go to taiping to celebrate my grandparents birthday~~^^
Errr~like kinda rush huh??!!
Think dis holiday i cant make myself go for seaside le~~~sob sob~~

~~FeeLinGzzZZ~~