顺风。。。

托假期的福，我几乎快忘得七七八八了。。。感谢自己善忘的本能。。。
很快哦！假期结束了。。。抓不住时间的脚步。。。
很快哦！gor gor明天就要飞了。。。猜想他今天应该会很忙吧！不过待会儿还是会打通电话给他的。。。因为不懂还要过多久才会再次听到他的声音。。。俄罗斯，很远叻。。。
~gor gor，去到那里，记得好好照顾自己，真的不用担心我，我会照顾自己的啦，都快两张没得找了，所以真的不用担心我。还有，读医生会很忙很压力的，不要累坏自己懂吗？有了电话号码要赶快sms我，这样子才可以一直跟你保持联络。
上次你说你的行李超重，我告诉你带重要的还有有纪念价值的。。。后来想想，我觉得，有纪念价值的留在马来西亚吧，这样子你才不会因为外面的花花世界而忘了这里。。。不过我看有纪念价值你都没带去，例如，你的家人啦，朋友啦，还有在这里的回忆，对不对？最后，祝你一路顺风。。。~

我觉得，在我生命中，有两种人。。。
~第一种：一直会想他们，几乎二十四小时都在想，但他们离开后，也不会觉得怎样。。。
~第二种：平常都不会想，一天二十四小时可能都没想过他们，但他们离开之后，心中却万般不舍。。。

蜕变。。。

前几天money来我这儿，谈了很多，发现我们都不再是女孩，正蜕变成女人。。。
发现什么？
~女人都爱听甜言蜜语，只是她们可以选择不相信。。。~
~女人都是口是心非的，所以请男人三思而后行。。。~
~女人从他爱人身上要的是肯定多过鲜花。。。~
~男孩要的都是女人，而男人要的都是女孩。。。~

哈哈！以上纯属个人意见。。。日后还是可以被推翻的。。。
gor gor一直以为我还伤心着。。。然后我回了一封信息给他:
~有长度的东西，涉及范围较广，所以复原得比较慢，哪个地方随便一碰，都是痛处；有深度的东西，只要在同一个地方填补空洞，很快就会被填满。。。我和他，只有深度，没有长度。。。what comes around, goes around。。。对自己要仁慈一点，何必处处执著呢？已经很了解游戏规则了，不管是赢还是输，都要接受。。。~
真的真的不用担心我，爱情不是全部，我还没有颓废到那种‘没了男人/男孩就不行’的地步。。。
这次也学会了一样东西，下次要搞姐弟恋，如果想认真，就要慎选，因为很多男孩搞姐弟恋就是因为他们能从‘姐姐’身上得到许多他们在同龄女生得不到的东西；如果只想玩玩，make sure he doesn't cross the limit，then anything ok。。。当然，心脏可要很强，mind set要很好，才不会让自己深陷于分手后的痛苦中。。。
怎么把自己搞得很想playgirl这样？哈哈，就算是我也是个仁慈的playgirl，只和懂规则的人玩。想玩，我是不会搭上认真型的。。。

~我记得form 4时，我的英文老师问全班的女生（我是女校出身的），自己是good girl还是nice girl。。。我记得我回答："good girl"。哈哈，现在？我会答："i'm a nice girl"。。。

昨天。。。

昨天-石欣卉

每一天都有一个新的昨天
每一个昨天却是一样你的脸
如果爱如你所说
像个旅点
你在我心里的容颜
为什么没变
每一夜都有一个梦的起点
每一次梦醒思念却没有终点
如果心如你所说
终会疲倦
究竟我还有多少天
才能改变
停止对你怀念留在昨天
哦 忘了吧
哦 忘了吧
其实有了你
真的很累
给你一切却不能企盼你回应一些些
哦 忘了吧
哦 忘了吧
昨天我和你
真的很美
一面回忆一面流泪
自己也不了解的感觉

。。。。

开始追求一个很artistic的生活。。。
已经不知道是第几次home alone了。。。慢慢的，也习惯那种安静。。。
静静地把家里打扫干净，从厨房到客厅，房间，洗衣。。。
一个人，比较有心情做东西。。。
洗着碗的时候，突然有种念头，我要的生活，很artistic。。。
也突然有种念头，爸妈真的好像很放心我们自己留在kl了。。。
我有很强的预感，再过不久，他们也许真的会回去吡叻，然后留我们三个在这里。。。
这样会做死我叻，弟弟都不做家务，煮了食物，锅就放那里。。。什么都要我清他们的收尾。。。衣服换了就丢在桶内，不过没关系，因为有洗衣机。。。
很反对男主外，女主内的想法。。。
男生吃了饭就不用洗碗吗？
不过叫他们做他们还是会做，只是要等很久咯，然后又随便跟你做咯。。。气死我叻！！！
一个人住，才发现自己并没有想象中的独立。。。
如果停电了，我会怕；制水，我会不知道怎么办；灯坏了，我也不会换。。。
其实，真的还有很多东西要学。。。
还能说什么？生活，就是这个模样，不停的学习，从挫折中改进，把失败变成推动力，把伤心忘却。。。
如果你们是bio学生，在读着embryology的时候，你们就会发现，其实，人真的真的很奇妙，‘生活’，找不到适合词汇去形容。。。真的很佩服上天创造新生命的能力。。。
把自己隔离，站在角落看这个世界，就会发现很多，很多。。。

^_^.....happy outing wiv them......

Juz start my school holidays...i supposed to study, but i was sooooo bored of it since i used to study for my past two days....so i decide to hang out for one day to destress....actually today is for movie wiv my guitarist de, somehow i cannot book the ticket thru on9 so we cancelled it oredi....however, i still lazy to study, my mind juz keep telling me, GO OUT, GO OUT....so, in msn, caught my primary frens ask them accompany go to sing k.....hahaha, i think this is my first time ajak them becoz i more on rejecting their invitation...so they juz okla, coz I AJAK THEM WOR.....hahahha....haih, actually b4 dis i called soooo many frens c who is free, but none.......sob sob...luckily still got them........

Another sudden outing....

Well, felt happy when met wiv them...of coz, primary till now wor........ten years over fren oredi.....


~seok hui n i inside monorail....we knew each other since standard 1.....in the same class till we graduate primary......secondary seldom contact wiv her....well, still very gd wiv her nowadays...n our school quite near oni...i studied in st.john, she's doing acc in mc-orange, very near....

~kian hou.....knew him since standard 5....pts fella.....damn geng in study......study smart fella....

~seok hui n i, inside k room.......

~kian hou, billy n seok hui r singing....

~kian hou, seok hui n i........

~hui, me n kian hou....while waiting for billy......no idea wad he is buying.......

~hui, wad u doing der?lolz.........aiyo, feel dat i very perasan....always cam-whore here n der........

~hou, hui n billy..........

~kian hou n i.........

~me n hui.........best fren for ever......

~billy n i.......dis one knew him....forget oredi...but i remember we always argued when we were small, ahahha, small kid wad.......stupid me, my face edi sooo big, still do dat pose summore..........

~going home.....waiting for monorail........oso wan to cam-whore, hahahah..........

~hui n i....another sweet memory b4 going home.....

Haha, sang for 3 hours today......well, still feel dat not enuf for me, coz i still got lots of songs haven sing.....n my voice hasnt gone yet........wakkaka.......reli long long long time din sing songs in one-shot le.......felt soooo happy n contented today...singing always my passion.......^_^.....hheheh, will go for another shot wiv ching ju after stpm........hahaha.......looking forwards for that...^_^

toDaY'Sss.....

~billy, hou n hui, if u guys wan photo plz ask from me in msn ok??thanks.........~

~to xiang xiang: hey, happy birthday ya....^_^.........~

~to my dearest bro, stanley: dun worry k?jie jie always beside u, cheer...........^_^~

my lovely hometown.....

My parents juz went back to hometown which situated in taiping, perak....well, left me n one of my younger bro staying in kl...the reason we din follow is becoz tuition....y we soooo hardworking?becoz, few more months to go, i'll be sitting for my stpm, n my younger bro is in f4 dis year, so muz study hard....

Haih, counting, how long i din follow them back to my lovely hometown??very long edi....i miss everything over there...i miss the air, miss the food, miss my sifu(who taught me play badminton), miss the pasar malam, miss the rain, miss the sunshine....everything..there r juz so precious for me, ntg can replace........n of coz i miss my grandparents n my cousins soooooo much....

Born to be natural....eventhough my hometown is not advanced as kl, but it is juz so special for me, u wont feel any pressure over there, ur life juz peaceful n calm all the time....life over there totally different from here where u hav to compete wiv time, the pace moving is soooo faz till we got no time to rest...

When i was small, i enjoyed catching grasshopper wiv my cousin in an open field, catched tadpole n small fishes in longkang(the water is clean n clear ok....), playing wiv sands or go to beach to hav our happy moment, cycling along the kampung roadside by the evening where u can c the beautiful sunset in front u...y?becoz there dun hav tall building blocking ur view...at night, u can c the countless star sparkling, the night sky is soooo deep n blue.....i enjoyed walking by the roadside holding my cousins' hand...we can chat a lot....i'll tell him/her my life over kl here, n they will tell me mine....sumtimes we can chat till midnite n sacrifice our bed time.....

I think this is the difference between a pure kl lite n someone from kampung....i'm happy because i hav a very precious childhood that not everyone might hav...i dun mind others call me kampung girl coz i enjoy being a kampung girl....i wonder y i can be so frenly, maybe becoz of dis??lolz.....

transformed......

Finally, finish my bio n chem practical....today is my fifth time doing rat disection, second time disect the thorax of the rat....oh man, feeling like wan to vomit once i open the cover of the container...juz cannot tolerate wiv the formalin smell......after school having lunch, the soup oso turns to becum formalin smell.....

Well, thorax is quite hard for me to open compared to abdomen....coz there r many blood vessels, vein n arteries that i cannot break it....now oni i know when doing disection, i reli need lots of concentration....disect for 3 hours.....>_<....3 hours, juz to remove the muscle, clear the nerve tissues n fat tissues so dat the vein can be clearly seen....n it's hard, coz my rat quite unusual, teacher said so....however, i still manage to do it finally, juz i accidentally broke a main vein...luckily the other side still nice....quite messy though coz the muscle haven remove thoroughly n it already dried up.....but the main thing is as long as teacher can c the vein, arteries n everything exactly like the manual, then can score edi....lastly, hav to remove the heart n pass up.....shit, dunno where to cut, dunno how to do....however still able to finish it wiv the aid of teacher n frens....

Well, after this practical, i dun think will take up medicine course in my future....today while disect until half reli feeling like wan to giv up....coz reli dunno how to do, how to open the rib cage?wad if i break the trachea accidentally?wad if bla bla bla....oni i know, every single cut we made, there is a lot of courageos hidden behind it...of coz, try to apply this in our life....we need lots of courageous to continue living, coz a small step will determine our future sumtimes....n like today's disection, if i cut it wrongly, then i hav to say bye bye to this practical...n ya, actually i oso use up lots of courageous to trace, to display n so on....every movement i made within the organ muz be gentle, so i hav to be dare even the risiko is there....

N today oso oni i realize i hav 'transformed'....those days where i keep on worrying about everything, sink in pain n so on were the processes of transformation...n today sumthing make me feel dat i'm different from others....neway, the difference is gd, lil girl still will grow up wad....n thanks to my mom for forcing me enter form 6...i remember i used about months to make myself adapted to f6 life in a new environment, n i made it....ya, f6 is hard to go through no doubt, but i learnt a lot n gain a lot too...i learnt how to multitask, learn how to mix wiv all kinds of ppl, learnt how to work under pressure, learnt how to divide my time well(dis one still can improve though),'learnt' how to live without tv, 'learnt' how to sleep oni 5 hours a day n lots more....

Now already august, wad i can say is time reli flies....first time i feel dat my 'one week' passes so faz....tml another 'friday', next week is another week.....so faz huh.....2007 is going to end soon, STPM ARRRR!!!!!!

Dis one and a half year, started tackle out wad reality is, wad actually a hectic life is, n the concept of living is the same, apply wad we had learnt in school n books into our daily life, never say study is useless, coz u nvr apply the concept properly...(i hate exam but nvr hate study, plz dun get me wrong)...the problem is how u view a thing oni, juz like wad my chemistry teacher always said:"monster(reactants) keeps on changing, but concept still the same"...dat's wad we called philosophy i think...well, God will bless me.....dat's all wad i can say...

Rocker!!!!

Yesterday went to rock city to watch a performance performed by their students....my guitarist was in....haha.....yesterday they were rock, no doubt....sum of them i would like to say very gd, wad they lack is only a real stage wiv all the spot lights shine on them........About 10 songs they played, n there r 2 songs very impressed me, one is jie tuo n another one is 'see her dance'...the latter one was composed n arranged by one of the manager of the rock city...the song was seriously very very nice.....n the highlight of yesterday night was the jamming session among 3 students n all of them r guitarist.....dat one super nice lah.........hahahha.......3 guitarist were up to the standard!!!


~vocalist(felix), guitarist(felix oso), 2nd guitarist (fazly)

~irene...juz knew her not long ago...irene was soooo cool n yeng while playing "it's my life"...n the 'jie tuo' oso very nice.........luv it.....

~fazly....wow, dis one totally rocker.....n he can play very well too.....

~dunno wad's his name....neway, he can play very gd too........^_^

~felix......my so called 'bro'.....lolz, everyone reli thought that i'm ur sis........THANK YOU MY DEAR BRO for sharing this wiv them...*ehem*........*blek*........well, u played very gd yesterday...improved a lot.....ganbatte yo........^_^....i know, u wan me to say : "u're rock rite?", hahah.....then invite me again for the next performance....do like fazyl, jumping while playing guitar, then u r super duper rock edi...n dat time i admit dat u r ROCKER!!!!serious....hahahah.......

心情话：

~犹豫了很久，其实还是有一点点放不下。。。但我在努力当中。。。努力地告诉自己我不再，也不会想你，努力催眠自己我们是朋友，也努力的让自己忙一点，我才没有多余的时间想你。。。其实自己还是开心的生活着，只是想起还是会伤心。。。时间会冲谈一切，一定会的，对不对？。。。相信上次留给你的东西也不见了。。。努力读书！！！~

MuS!c...

这两天，反复听着《不许哭》和《不能说的秘密》，但却心血来潮的想找回90年代的歌。。。
记得那时候，滚石的歌手让我印象很深刻，我很喜欢他们的歌。。。希望我没记错他们的唱片公司。。。
现在，不说什么唱片公司，只说印象深刻的。。。
很喜欢小齐的《心太软》，杜德伟的《无心伤害》，阿妹的《解脱》，莫文蔚与张洪量的《广岛之恋》，还有很多很多。。。
《解脱》是我的k歌。。。felix告诉我，明天（星期一）在rock city的演出有人唱《解脱》。
很期待。。。live band的《解脱》会给我怎样不同的感动。。。

谢谢你。。。^_^

今天，心情不好一整天，班上的同学遭殃，真的很不好意思。。。
在msn遇到他*，告诉他*我的情绪，比利巴拉一大堆全部发泄出来，真的有比较舒服，谢谢他*。
唯一能让我不要想起他的就是睡觉，所以下线后，我就跑去睡了一餐。
睡了一个小时，起来冲凉，吃点东西，过后家电话响了。。。
本来懒得听，但看见婆婆拿不到那个电话，我还是爬起来听了。。。
是他*。。。
这次有点奇怪，因为他*打来我家，平常他*都是打我的手机。。。
但没关系，重点不是这个。
重点是，他*怕我还不开心，怕我会做什么傻事，所以打来慰问我一下。
我告诉他*，我不会这样笨，为了一个不care我的男生做傻事，人要先爱的，还是自己。。。
虽然他*不多话，但还是谢谢他*打来陪我聊天。。。
谈完后，send了一封信息给darling shiuan和他*，谢谢他*在我不开心时还是会陪我说话，我会很珍惜他*这个朋友。
他*在我心目中已经晋级了，对我来讲，他*真的算是我蛮close的朋友了。
他*和他对待我的态度差别永远都是那么大，
跟他*真的可以谈心，跟他只能谈表面的东西。
告诉他*，别担心，我跟他分定了，我不想推翻自己说过的东西，不想变成自己与别人眼中的笨女人。。。
只是，在学校还是会遇到他，所以不要sms告诉他我要分，怕下次见到面会尴尬，而且我的预试要到了，不想影响读书的情绪，所以我唯有不理他。。。
不过都没差别，要他关心我？！比登天还难，所以，有男友也是等于没男友。。。
所以，算是结束了吧！
决心已经下了，接下来的行动就是看自己的自制能力，
下一回看到他，不能心动，女人还是矜贵的好。。。
最后，只想告诉他*，谢谢你还记得我，没有丢下我这个朋友。。。*感动-ing*
而且，别担心，我有什么事，第一时间都会找你，答应我不会丢下我就好了。。。

~他*和他是两个不同的人，别弄乱了~

直发。。。

昨天，坐在镜子前梳头，梳着梳着：“咪，药水在哪里？我想洗直。”说过不再伤害头发，但还是反悔了，很多东西不能说得太肯定。最后，我还是不要我的卷发。

本来自己做的，因为不想麻烦妈妈，但最后还是她帮我洗。没有很直，因为只是洗直，并没有电直，只是卷度很明显没有了，视觉上头发长了，也比较匾了，所以有种脸变得更大的错觉。

现在要天天搽油，因为头发又受损了。可以天天梳头了。。。再见了，my curly hair。。。

Stress gila!!!!!!!!!!

About one-month left for trial, roughly 3 months left for stpm........the pressure is too high for me to withstand, teachers haven finish syallabus, sum chapters still cannot master yet, too many things n formulae to memorise, n i tend to forget....think like wan to giv up everytime i study till half way....how to cover everything within dis short period??3 months juz tooo short for me....nevertheless, i still wish dat dis 3 months will end as soon as possible, juz cant wait to get rid of stpm, the nightmare for me...
Haih, think will break down again someday....

SJI F6 orientation (2007).....in bukit nanas.....

Today we r having our orientation wiv lower sixers in bukit nanas...i was there to help my darling shiuan since she said she need somebody to help, so i skip tuition today, n stay inside bukit nanas for hours to help out....neway, dis year was quite fun....we're not using water colour like laz year to paint our juniors' face, but they juz splash by water gila-gila, haha.....

Rite after school, we changed our clothes n tumpang an indian girl's car to bukit nanas, our station is somewhere around the kl tower....well, her driving skill was OMG, chun man!!!!very dangerous, chi gek!!!nyaris-nyaris crash wiv a taxi today, but i know is our fault.....thanks to her neway!!^_^

Our station is playing wiv ice....we filled one big tank of water full wiv ice, then we add salt(to maintain the temparature as low as possible), toothpaste, to turn the water cloudy so dat they wont find the things we wan dat easily n make it colder of coz.......

So long nvr been there...laz time was laz year, went there to catch bugs n get some leaves for my bio project....nice environment, the air was fresh, cool breeze...i'm juz a natural lover.......^_^


~sunnie, shiuan n sook yien were preparing the cold water....

~hahaha, c wad we add??COLGATE.....lolz.........

~sunnie n i, walked to kl tower juz for a toilet.........

~me n sook yien...she's totally a freak game organiser.....

~while waiting juniors to cum, not forgotten to cam-whore....wakakka......sien neh..

~me n darling shiuan........finally we did the same pose........hahahaha

~again me n darling shiuan.........^_^

~'kiss' by mosquitoes........

~li jia, me n shiuan.........juniors still haven cum up yet.......li jia was sooo bz walking here n der to coordinate everything......

~mehala was briefing juniors about the rules....quite fun though, sure will get wet in her station......

~ya, my station.....can c the milky 'solution'????hahahha, it's very colllldddd n cool man.......ur hand sure will becum numb after u played the game....i've tried, it was totally cold.......i think below 0 degree celsius coz we put lots of salts......n keep adding ice, toothpaste n salt each time a group is approaching.

~li jia still adding toothpaste for them.......pity them...........hahahaha........

~pity chai, our camera-man fell down....injured his arm.......

~sook yien, me, sunnie n shiuan.......gila torturing our juniors for hours...pity them....

Well, it has started to rain but yet we haven finish everything, so for the safety reason, we forced to terminate the orientation n go back to school.......still got one group din turn up in our station, i think is chee kien's group....aiya, cannot torture him edi......hahaha, i'm sooo bad........after the result has announced, everything has ended, lolz, i got idea who won at last, coz i was very tired, nvr had my lunch b4 go up to the hill....after dat, me li jia, sunnie n sum frens went to restaurant nearby to hav our meal while waiting for the rain to stop...wow, i ate a lot......finally, recover from illness, i can eat wad i luv to eat, of coz, i'll pandai-pandai jaga la........hahahah.........ya, dat's all for today......^_^