CNY AT IPOH~~

Cny is here finally.....actually i'm very excited despite of the arguement i juz had wiv my mom few days back...err, i hav calm down lar~~dun worry...^^

As usual, back to ipoh for celebration...but compared to previous year, dis year de reli sien sial lar~~~thought will back to pantai remis as well to meet with my lovely cousin, how cum the plan spoilt as my dad wan to go back earlier, scare traffic jam wor, kononnya~~sob sob, so sad~~~reli sad ar!!!

'Third day' of lunar calender nia, daddy yell wanna go back to kl edi....=.=...

Neway, first day i went to cameron highlands....but i was trapped in the traffic more than i go walk walk.....thought can visit to the 'boh' tea garden as my aunt said it's very nice....due to the traffic, end up we din go anywhere, but TOILET and some small stalls instead....wanna get some nice nice souvenir for frens oso cant..sorry ar~~sob sob...most of the time juz sit inside the car nia la....so bored.....

then second day went to auntie's place...ntg much actually....chit-chat-eat, then go to jaya jusco....bought something to bring back to hostel de, kakakka, so fast.....hahha.....

Third day eary in the morning>>>>'WAKE UP LE, WANNA GO BACK TO KL EDI!!'
WTF, i not even start enjoy my new year lo....sigh...u c, 3 days juz pass like dat...yer~~~~

Lately not reli got the mood to take lots of photo lar~~~
dat's all i got i i think it's presentable enough de...hahahha...


~on the way to cameron highlands....the sky very nice right?^^

~trap inside the car...the traffic sux!!!luckily daddy bought me some strawberry....dat day only i realised my family members none of them like strawberry, they claimed that it's very sour rather than sweet....err, but i like it so much leh, is LOVE, sorry*, haha....ya, it's sour, after that can taste the sweetness edi, haha, gd, nobody rampas wiv me at least...lolz...:p

~dis one>>>cacat de strawberry..haha, but it's cute....lolz...

~we shut the aircond, n scroll down the car window....it's so windy n cool.....i reli reli so in love with the weather there....skin complexion becum much better after long live at there also....unlike kl, HOT DAO~~~~lolz, the way i wear doesnt look like i liv in malaysia, hahha....~

~nah, dis one ss de....haha....then try to capture some photos wiv ang pau de n send to gor gor at russia there....so kesian him leh, not coming back dis year n reunion wiv his loved ones, so as a mui mui i let him feel some new year 'feel' ba...kakkaka....

Well, that's all for my new year........soooooo blooddyyy de siennn right??

faster recover leh....well, i dont mean that i hav fallen sick, but my mood still very low lately...dunno y~~sigh~~~

Neway, dun 'sigh', 'sigh' anymore, not gd........i wish all of you happy chinese new year, hope u all hav a wonderful n prosperous ox year!!!!GONG XI FATT CHAI~~~:p

i'm so sad today....

Today, supposed a great family day for me after so long....but she spoilt everything, end up argue on the dinner desk, n got scolded by her seriously.....i dun wan talk to her unless i hav calm down....my new year mood has spoilt by her...guess i wont hav a 'happy' chinese new year dis year.....:'(

Is money so important to her till she can ignore the happiness of a family shud hav??
Y she so stuborn?
i'm trying to talk to her, my bro tried, my dad tried, no use!!
her ears juz as hard as a rock, wont listen to any~~
i reli lazy to talk to her anymore, waste my saliva also....

Y she nvr think r we reli happy wiv the decision she made?
Is she reli know wad we reli wan?
Y she juz so old-fashion n nvr try to understand our mind...
Does she know day by day, our mind distance will get larger?
Does she know we wont take each other in heart anymore if we r not at the same line??

#If money reli so important to u instead of FAMILY,
will u happy if i reli got the ability to earn big money, then every month i juz giv u money, i wont ask about ur condition, i wont chat wiv u, i cum back juz to giv u money n leave, will u HAPPY? Is money reli wad u wan in ur life time only?? dun let money affect our family bond can??#

#do u know whenever u tell me, i'm lazy, i'm troublesome, ask me stay at hostel, dun come back home, i very hurt??#

#bet u would nvr know coz u nvr wanted to know#

#not that i dunwan let u understand, but u nvr open ur heart n giv the chance to ur child to access their mind, so u would nvr understand ur own child#


i reli scared one day if anything happen to me, i wont tell u anymore.....coz i know u will scold me instead of understand my problem.....dat's y there r so many secret between us~~~:(

平静

虽然最近的生活没有很精彩，但想寻求平静的念头却越来越强。
我指的平静是很抽象的平静，所以不要叫我形容。。。
觉得人生走到一个点之后，就会升华得很快。。。
我是不是老了?
当一切一切都超越不了之前所经历的，那那些所谓超越不了的还有什么意思?
你们明白我在说什么吗?
今天和契哥哥sms了一会儿，问他回来大马后能不能带我到教堂一趟，出发点是抱着一颗想要寻找平静的心。
总觉得神圣的地方是那么的纯洁，宁静，原始，可以短暂性的逃离一切不必要的烦恼，暂时性的找到依靠，寄托。。。
就很想静静地坐在那里，省思。。。还有与神，与自己对话。。。

想一想:如果要上帝爱你，周遭的的人爱你，那首先就要先自爱。。。。自爱，是一个我一直都做不好的地方。。。

终于

终于忙完一切，但很抱歉，没有任何相关照片与大家分享的。

不晓得为什么，自从上次不小心将手机记忆卡里的照片删除掉后，竟然看开一些事情。
有时，回忆只是仅限于过去。当自己忙起来时，回忆算什么。没有东西是永久的~

相信昨天大家都一定high翻天，但坦白讲，今年参加活动的过程中，很多时候是不开心的，感觉上都是自己一个人，所以只是希望它赶快完成。有，感动还是会有，但就是那么一下子。也许对我来说意义没有很大，所以也没有多大感触，因此也没有什么冲动要拍很多很多照片之类的~

到底怎么了，很讨厌那种感觉。我的直觉是准的吗?还是是我想太多?

哎~~本小姐又病倒了。。。早些前就是发烧，过不久后就泄肚子，刚开始以为是食物中毒，但看了医生，吃完了药，还是泄，泄了整整一个星期，看了第二次医生才懂自己是viral infection。好啦，现在没泄了，但开始感冒了，包了很多云吞噢~真是病猫一个。。。。。

...

I've been missing in action since last week i think...
haha.....
Well, finish my course night finally~~
it was a wonderful night indeed... will post the photos after i got all ya...hahah...

after that, focus in pap....3 days left~~


besides bz for all this, i also bz rushing to toilet...
i dunno wad happen to my stomach, mild food poisoning i think...
first day stomach reli pain dou~~
plus diarrhea, i spent my morning squading beside the toilet bowl...
cannot tahan till hav to enter 'accident and emergency' n get an injection...

today edi 4th day, but still i feel intestine discomfort....
the most important is i cant eat all the delicious fd.....
i only can eat all the soup noodles, so sien~~

title-less

Finally, i hav back again to my bloggie~~~

Not reli hav story to be shared here, blog maybe juz to maintain my 'existance', how sad it is...when there is no special occasion to blog about...

Still bz-ing for PAP n course night stuff......For PAP, i've got the chance to join their mv shooting n recording, so bloody fun!!!!hahahha......i'm so excited n cant wait to c the outcome~~~*peace*

N i hav officially start my lecture class this week.....assignments start coming in....Well, this sem i hav the courage to take up PUBLIC SPEAKING dis sub. It's a new attempt for me to become a better speaker especially in front of public (i always hav the stage fright)...Well, first class rather bored actually....madam is the one who talking non-stop in front, we r the passive one, sitting there listening to her 'talk', introduction la, hahaha......suddenly i thought of JULIUS YEE from my ex school, he is the BEST PUBLIC SPEAKER i've ever met in my life so far.....He is such eye-catching wiv his clear voice n almost perfect pronunciation, attractive non-verbal communication n etc...like for me, i'm those ppl who easily get bored wiv all the speechs n lectures, n he manage to catch everybody's attention when he is talking in front.... obviously he has put in lots of effort in order to become a public speaker, n this makes him turn out as 1st runner up for public speaking at international level last year.... Whole St.John Institution is proud of him~~^^

And another sub that is reli kiling me is the physical chemistry, as we hav to do all the lecture notes on our own...n as for now, i seriously lack of time to do so, n filter as well as digest every topic that he has assigned us. neway, it's a gd way to teach, or else we juz salin babi buta, our brain would nvr start turning...

Another sub tat can cure insomnia--->>TITAS (something about tamadun islam)wow, dis one i tell u, seriously will fall asleep during his class...the way he talks>>SLOW; the way he teachs>>BORED...urrr~well,maybe i shudnt keeps on complaining, as i might not better than him if i was in his shoes....like very irrespect him nia, haha....but i juz hope that he can be more interesting to make this bored sub a lil bit more fun, or else all the notes will become hypnotic nia~~

Conclusion of the week----->>busy dancing, bz wiv lecture class, n not reli in gd condition....hormonal problem appears again, i hate it so much, make me look so dull n cham~~~*suicide*

shooting day~

Wow, wad a tiring day.....woke up early in the morning, n went for the PAP mv shooting....my ever first time involve in this kind of activity, it's fun though....hahaha

Went to titiwangsa for several shooting scene, walk here n der, retake n retake in order to get the best scene.....n of coz in the middle we did made lots of fun n cracked lots of jokes....everybody juz non-stop laughing....


~was too bored while waiting for them to finish the shoot....


After that went back to KTSN, our hostel, n finishing the remain one....N it takes us about half day to finish a mv, wow....it's sooooo tiring...

After that, gonna go for dance practice summore, of coz after i take a nap......both course night n PAP.....

Haha, my life juz soooo packed with all kinds of activities lately......n of coz not forget to mention about the marketing operation yesterday...walk along chow kit for half day also......man, exhausting!!!!!!but it's fun la, haha, nice experience......:p

SAY HI TO 2009, BYE TO 2008

Huhu~~~yesterday i was counting down in my hostel....coz not reli feeling like go out.sory to yean they all as i ffk them......

Was cooking drama for the whole night after back from bangi...then eleven something got down from my blok n gather wiv all my coursemate.....hanging around the compund, feel the fresh cool breeze at titiwangsa area.....well, the night sky isnt breathtaking, kl wad...=.=...badly polluted....pity to the nature~~

We r waiting for the moment to pass, welcoming the new year together...we dunno the time exactly...but we look at the sky, the fireworks decorating the night sky indicates that year 2008 has come to an end, n it's time for us to start a brand new life in 2009.....

We look to the direction where KLCC located, coz that's the area we'll c the fireworks....we r ready~~haha......n we also c lots of uni-mates from diff courses like optometry, pharmacy, dentistry, dietatics, nutri, speech therapy, biomedic n of coz forensics. we wish each other happy new year like sial, juz like the hostel left us nia, din consider those who r sleeping, we shout la wei, hahahha.....from our hostel not reli can c the fireworks but can hear the sounds clearly, heart juz feel very itchy la, can hear but cannot c......

After that, we went to cafe n sit together wiv biomedic students, crapping here n der...somebody reli cracks lots of jokes, cool one, lame one, all of us laugh our lungs out~~crapping also consume us roughly 2 hours, when i got back to my room, it's already 2am....sit down n calm myself down, dis is the pure happiness i've been lost, n i'm craving for it so badly before i found it again...a simple joke can make me laugh non-stop.... how many ppl can realize the real meaning of dat??--pure happiness...

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION:
~study well, to be specific, hopefully can get 3.5 n above for my 2nd sem...i muz ganbatte...^^
~hatch the 'egg', i mean our UKM score, still dont get me??haha, simple one, get a bf asap...haha...
~earn money.i dunwan worry for my economic anymore lar~~~
~happy everyday....^^






LASTLY~~~~~HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!WISH U ALL HAV A WONDERFUL AND BLASTING YEAR 2009 AHEAD.....^^

i'm here again~~~

heyyyooo~~~sorry to all the readers for the lack updates as i'm very very seriously bz for the dance practices as i'm running two sides. Course night dancing and Pesta Ang Pau dancing....The time is juz sooo packed for me, everytime after practising the course night contemp dance till half way then i gonna go for PAP pure traditional chinese dance......N hav to skip meal sometimes...neway, sometimes kinda enjoy the process as i luv to dance, well, stress still will attack me occassionally especially for the course night one....

Wish all the PAP members gd luck n thanks to all of them...sorry to den coz i seem like abandone the project le...well, i'm still trying my best....^^

i'm sick~~~:(

Have been back to hostel for 3 days....n i hav fell sick for the second day.

First day, reach hostel about 10 something in the morning, clean up the juz renovated room for few hours.....then went for dance practice....contemporary reli can kill man!!plus it's been history that i dance contemp.....at night practise another dance, pure chinese traditional dance....it's juz so tak biasa for me to handle the 'chinese fan'....

Second day, that's where the story start.7am stomach-ache till wake up, after went toilet, sleep again till 10.30am, then 11am went lot 10 n setapak to settle something till about 5pm, rest for about half an hour go to find joyce n tell her i cant practise today as i reli reli sick....fever+muscle ache+intestine discomfort.....not reli eaten...cant even finish half of my 'brunch', my dinner either...then sleep from about 9pm till the second day...woke up in the middle of the night due to the mosquitoes.....so damn itchy man!!!!

Third day, felt better at first.....but dunno y, i'm not reli feeling ok after few hours i got up.....diarrhea, starting to headache again.....took medicine juz now....n now wanna get back to my bed........oh God, i'm juz very very sick~~~:(

christmas eve outing~~

Finally~~~~i manage to club again, it was half year back for my last clubbing, miss the feeling though...

Well, met some new friends yesterday, ah king's frens, money's frens, and frens that knew in club, but i would nvr remember the name for those i knew at dance pool, coz seriously i cant hear wad they r 'shouting' beside my ears....it was sooo noisy inside, and so damn packed....

Haha, guess who i met?i was so suprising meeting they all u know~~before enter club, denson pass by me...yes, the senior..so suprising saw him der...he cant reg me at first, so din stop me, luckily i can reg him??hahha~~

Then after entering poppy, angeline, my klcc colleague approach me, omg, itu reli 'pou ka'...then saw sandy, joyce....hahha, very happy seeing them oso......okla, got dance a while~~

Then we went up to the passion bar, but i found the music not my type, it's more for boys to do shuffle...so i always go down to poppy, i juz enjoy the feeling of dancing in the dance pool....lolz~~


~haha, dis girl, milo, we r falling for each other for the first sight, we juz knew actually but like knowing for so long like dat, miss her leh.......reli enjoying club wiv her de, we juz look alike, physically(they said so), n mentally, i think so....hahha....aiya, girl, so ke xi we din get wad we wish.....next time we ganbatte ya.....^^hahhaha~~

~all the girls, milo, yean, me, money n phoebe~~~^^

~all the boys, yong zhi, ah king, me(i'm not a boy k?)ah hau and owen....

~group photos......club again next time, hahahha..luv u guys~~~~MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

~meeee.........i realize i hav gained weight SERIOUSLY......nvm, hopefully i can slim down after start practising dance......

In a nut shell, yesterday was a happening night for me......'result' ar?not bad la....hahah.....
MERRY CHRISTMAS to all the readers ya.....

emo talk: yesterday i accidentally delete everything in my phone...all the songs, photos, EVERYTHING HAS GONE~~~yesterday was the first time i wish to turn back time soooo badly....all the memories r priceless....:'(

outing AGAIN~~~

Well well well, honestly, dis week hor, my daily routine juz work, then steven corner's stuff then outing...it was a packful week for me~~~n everyday sleep around 2am...gosh!!!!!my health reli hancur~~~

Neway, yesterday out again, WINGS again, sji frens again.....hahha, chai, sean, wei loon, wei loon's fren, li jia, kelly n wen shiuan...well, juz normal chating, ask about their late life as some of them juz back to malaysia....


~li jia n i.....she juz came back from Australia not long ago...sem break till next year feb...so good~~happy seeing u girl~~

~darling shiuan n i, she's is doing statistic in UM....

~me n kelly....

~mr.wei loon n i.....haha, after that we took some funny pictures...but i'm not going to post.....hahhaha....*so secretive*...hahaha.....dis fella physics n maths freak, doing material science and engineering in NUS.....gd luck ya dear....haha....:P

~wl's fren, me n wl.....his fren quite talkative de, from vietnam....doing chemistry in NUS also....

After that i called up my frens ask for tml's plan....christmas eve wad...n finally i hav decided today, will go poppy...hahha....poppy, i'm coming~~~thought wanna go quattro de, but suddenly cancel coz jeff having fd poisoning, take k ya my fren....nvm, suddenly yean sms me ask me wanna club tonight, lolz, i juz 'sai le lang' la....too bad jj cant follow as he is engaged wiv drama...next time ba~~

Haha, cant wait to enjoy le....lolz, half year din club man!!!

N ya, MERRY CHRISTMAS to all the readers ya...^^

malay's wedding

~the weather is so nice....today i'm attending a malay fren's wedding....he is my coursemate...so i'll go meet all the chinise boy at titiwangsa station first~~the skies r blur, plants r green....feeling comfortable when staring at it...

~the raja sehari....hasnu n his wife....

~me n the forensics boys~~~

~intan, adilah n i....

~i wish them 'white head untill old'.....hahha.....xin hun kuai le oo....^^

beginning a new life>>lady

~Kelly Lin Xi Lei....only wiv one glance, the 'sexy-ness' enough to kill u~~

~She can be so sweet n gorgeous as well.....

~Sarah Jessica Parker...she's very femine u know~~

Juz now chat wiv money....suddenly she said she's old edi...i ask y??u're juz 20, ur life juz start girl~~then she answered me:"20, no change", direct translate from cantonese lar~~(e jiong mou dek zhao)

Suddenly it makes me realize dat i hav gone through 20 years of life~~~n wad hav i achieved?seems like ntg...

N i start realizing how life can be such amazing?from a sperm+secondary oocyte=ovum (sorry for being such DETAILS)>>zygote>>embryo>>foetus>>baby>>kid>>teenager>>lady>>woman aka auntie>>old woman aka old auntie aka popo.....AMAZING rite?

N analyzying the sequence above, i'm currently in the stage of lady.....

Watching all the drama, movie, wad a 'lady' shud be?mature?sexy?young?

If let me choose a 'lady' as a target...i would choose the Carrie Bradshaw(Sarah Jessica Parker in the movie 'Sex And The City', she's so independent, intelligent, gorgeous, so got taste wiv her life n etc....dat's my aim...haha....well, the taiwan artist--Lin Xi Lei oso not bad, she's sooooo sexy even juz wiv a tee n jeans pants....the 'sexy-ness' is from inside...*pictures available above*sorry for the faulty sequences....my fault my fault...hahaha...write till half only feel like wanna post photo~~

Haha, obviously i just start my 20-.....bid gdbye to my teenage.i shud start enjoying a new life of a 'lady' shud hav....i think this is the stage where a girl manage to change so much...in terms of physical outlook, mentality development, the attitude (the most important one, A TERRIBLE ATTITUDE WILL MAKE OTHERS THINK THAT YOU ARE CHILDISH AND LOOK STUPID)....i'm changing no doubt...^^

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman...song from Britney Spears....ya, i'm no longer a girl right now....i'm a lady....PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, N BIOLOGICALLY....lolz, 'biologically', sounds funny...ahahha....lolz, secondary sex mah biologically lor~~~hhaahha.....

stay tune readers~~

so sorry to all my dear readers due to my lack update...coz dis week i'm seriously bz wiv working....neway, all the article-coming-soon r all in progressing.....stay tune...*wink*

hehhehe, another suprise~~thanks my dear-zzzz....

I hav promised chai 19th of dec i'll belanja him red wine..and b4 dat he always keeps on reminding me:'dun forget ya, dun forget 19th red wine ya~~~'....i juz...=.=....okok uncle, i'm not having Alzheimer's disease lar~~~

Ok, so that day has finally reached....After i finish my work at KLCC at 6pm....i wait for chai to fetch me around 9pm....so i stay for a while more at my counter, well, no paid is being made for staying OT....n i oso use the opportunity to explain the cafe project to my permanent...ya, i'm part time doing a cafe project to earn some side income....is a very gd project to join lar~~~hahah....no point, poor student gotta work very hard to earn more money...99.9% i'm not going to apply JPA...sigh...confusing~~>.<



~me me me, inside chai chai's car..he is buying movie ticket...n then hor, curi-curi simpan 3 more, show me 2 nia..we watched Ip Man.nice movie~~~i cried~~~sob sob...

~hahhaha, reli suprising when i saw sean, kelly n jeff bump out behind me holding the cake wiv candle lighted on.....so suprising n so touched~~~heart u guys a lot....haha, they r celebrating my birthday for me...coz they were all bz wiv exam during my birthday....

~after make a wish....hehehe.....^^

~me n mr.chai....thanks for the planning.....second time u guys celebrating for me le....i still remember first time u cheat me that u involved in an accident near my place, i reli going to rush out le, pc oso din on...then i saw u guys holding a cake....:p...then dis year cheat me again....haha, y we will only get suprised after being cheat ya??ahhaha...

~hearts them a lotttt~~~jeff, kelly, me, chai n sean~~~

~guess i met who?i met kai ting, a girl knew from kaki corner de....she was the top 10 for pop star singing comp....and wad a coincidence, she's having a show at wings cafe dat night....ganbatte oo girl~~u reli can sing very very nice~~^^



~group pic wiv kai ting..





~another singer we met, vivian, one of the top 10.....was my tuition mate, haha...add oil girl, u oso very geng in singing~~

After that we went for movie lo....u know, i so useless....hav u all seen a girl cry when watching 'kung fu' movie??is kong fu movie, not those love story like 'titanic', or 'money not enough use 2' from SGP de....kung fu movie er, n i go n cry......zadou 999999~~~~well, it's a very nice movie overall.storyline is gd, the quality of the movie id gd too, in terms of graphic n their kung fu skill....'zhen zi dan', the main actor so bloody yeng~~~sooooooo my type la, hahah..*blush*

Again i went back home around 2am something, sleep at 3am like dat..next day rest, luckily~~~

reli reli super tired~~~but it's all worth it..^^

hou Q sien ar~~

Oh God, Ntg to blog about my life...everyday juz stay at home ON9....urgh!!!!!

well, slept for sooo long these few days...the longer i sleep, the more tired i feel...msg cum i oso dun k, reli reply short short, i juz wanna sleep.....

neway, going out soon, to petaling street...haha, a place that i reli dont pay a visit for ages....lolz....lots of memories there~~haha, dat was during my high school life with all the so-damn-pack tuition classes.....




emo-talk:stupid me, y am i angry at u due to this.....we arent ANYBODY in each other's heart....we r juz FREN...i shudn't ask the question that i already knew the answer....

PC fair of Dec 2008

Sorry to all the readers for my lack update as i was busying for PC fair for the past few days, the three days were reli hectic for me.....Actually the day before PC fair, i was also work full time shift at parkson KLCC, then the next day start PC fair edi, i was just....=.=...very very tired...And i end up sleep until 1.30pm today, the first day after i finish my PC fair...

Second time work in PC fair, it was reli happy, i'm feeling contented coz i was occupied, i luv to talk, no doubt, n meeting diff kinds of ppl....n i do reli enjoy working wiv all my colleagues....Even though we juz knew each other, but after we finish the PC fair, the feeling is sooooo....wow~~dunno how to describe it....felt some kind of relief maybe...hopefully can meet wiv them again the next PC fair....



~meeee....first day working....i was selling Lenovo notebook....

~haha, i prefer white colour uniform...2nd day of working.....left-right: lenovo show girl(sim), me n yenn....

~me n yenn...thanks for intro girl...2nd time working together wiv her edi...first time was toshiba...kakkaka.....^^

~me n sue yin....lolz, she said she likes me the most among the girls....kakaka, i luv u too girl....^^

~chloe n i...she's so pretty....but so sad we r not working at the same booth...

~jess, me n aiya, forgot the name edi, so sorry ar....i'm not good in memorizing ppl's name....but i remember ur look....i once wrongly reg the girl n ask her whether she's came from titiwangsa girl school, coz reli look alike...hahah...

Others i din take photo coz lack of time n lots of them go back right after the PC fair....somebody who i reli need to mention here like Felix, ah Ching, Damian, Alan, the one who look like artist, Faruoq, Fousal n lots....reli happy working wiv u guys~~^^

And actually frist day i misunderstand faruoq...i thought he wanna rampas my customer n 'boh song' him, but after that he explain to me n i do apologize, i felt better after we hav made things clear...u know la, personal commission wor, everybody oso wanna earn money lo....so sure will happen dis kind of things....one thing, i reli learnt a lot regarding computer stuff....that's the bonus i gain....hehe....

Well, met lots of frens within these 3 days....met kok loon, chiling, cindy, zhu huey, they r exhibitors as well; in terms of visitors n customers, i met denson, my titiwangsa frens, Pn. Rubiah, Yong Chang teacher (drama instructor for ukm pesta tanglung), wan ting's mom, jeff, chee sum, Adi (my pjkn fren), Alex (once my Toshiba customer), A girl wer i din asked her name (once my Paul & Joe cosmetic brand customer), Sze Nee n etc....i couldnt remember all... Some reli shocked seeing them...haha...

I remember before PC fair i was sooooo down, but i do feel contented during pc fair, i din think about sad stuff anymore, i actually very got ohm to do sales...juz when reached the 3rd day, i was suffering from dry lips n ulcer...cham...=.=....

Well well, it has ended officially....shud get myself enough rest n think about the DANCE stuff....clean up my room...look for other part time job maybe, b4 i start my second sem....hehehhe...^^

~~

Yesterday about 8pm sms chai to ask whether he is free later....juz still not reli in mood, wanna go somewhere else rather than staying at home....not necessary need to talk, i'm ok if juz sitting der quietly doing ntg...i still dunno wad's wrong wiv me..

Well, 10.30pm, he came over to KLCC to pick me up n we went to Wing's cafe.....Nvr thought to 'drink' tonight....however since the wine's lover recommended me wan to hav 'drink' tonight? I said 'YES'....this is the first time i consume alcoholic drinks due to sadness....Last time whenever i drink, i drink it for fun.....Dis time i drink it wiv a purpose...maybe wanna get drunk, so dat i can get rid of wadever problem i'm having now....


~well, only 3...each of us share one a half bottle....the percentage of alcohol is so low n doesnt cause me to get drunk, juz abit dizzy~~~

~randomly

~so fast, christmas is coming soon......i hope this year i've got something to do wiv my christmas eve.....ah moi, spare that day for me ya...:p

~last glass of HOEGAARDEN WHITE BEER....

comment on the beer: The white beer we ordered yesterday was imported one, the waiter said so..so the taste is smoother than our local beer...It doesnt taste bitter n coarse at all..However, when i first drink juz like drinking tap water...cant reli feel dat it's beer...well, after few minutes, the alcohol start acting on me...can c dat i'm not a gd drink-er...i easily get drunk....well, my mind still clear, juz a lil bit dizzy~~

We talked quite lot today, about life, bout my problem...seems like i'm facing a blunt end in my life. I'm just 20, y am i feeling all this juz like i'm an old woman?haha, dun ask me y~~maybe i'm entering another phase of life... This one only time can heal~~

不要记得呼吸~~

如果，
如果我真的就这样逃离这个世界，
我会不会快乐一些？
我知道我不会。

前进也不对，倒退也不对，
现在是怎样？
不上不下，不前不后。。。

你们懂那种被撕裂的感觉吗？
你们懂那种不懂方向的感觉吗？
你们懂那种身边没有人的感觉吗？
你们懂当你们不懂自己要什么的感觉吗？

听着伍先生的‘需要你’，又让我想起不该想的画面。。。
现在真的相信了，
回忆是怎么都不会被潜意识遗忘的。。。
但，我想起的，
不是最近已经让我死心的你，
不是那个我已看透一切的你，
而是，很久很久以前，
那个我很想好好爱的你。。。

突然很想睡死就算了，
甘愿起身才起来。。。
当你已经不懂该怎么好好过活，
但生活还是你的全部时，
那种感觉是空到~~~~

可以将自己挖空吗？
可以掏空一切什么也不要想吗？
可以不要记得怎样呼吸吗？
可以不要记得那一首歌会想什么人，
不要记得那一种味道是属于哪一个人，
不要记得。。。

很想shut down一切一切~~~

wad i wan?

aduh~reli am dui ar today!!!personal sales reach about 2k, but got no commission!!!am dui or not!!!

Sigh, dun talk about dat~~it doesnt a matter for me though...

Talk about my life?
Well, so so lately, sometimes work sometimes not...
I get enough sleep everyday, i can eat well...
well, i'm healthy overall..

But y am i feeling dat again?
wad'll u c when u c a figure walking wiv no soul??
CORPSE!!
YA, u r right!!i hav no difference wiv corpse for the time being...
I feel dat i'm so darn poor~~
not in terms of money, but in terms of mentality development...

I know i'm not lacking of rest-ness,
i know i'm not lacking of sleeping hours,
money?dun think so...
i'm still living happily wiv my family...
i'm alright wiv my frens, maybe juz lack of contact lately...
i found dat i'm lazy to maintain a relationship,
so i think i deserve to be lonely all these while..

I always thought dat when i get enough rest, hav a reli gd time wiv myself,
no longer bz wiv uni stuff, no torturing exam, no burning midnight oil,
can lay at my cosy bed for 24 hours, can shop, i would get happier~~~
but no....
i'm not lacking of all those stuff, i'm not feeling happy or contented or wad so ever by getting rid of all those stuff that i always think dat they r scary n peeling me off~~

life would get terrible when the life planner-shud-be himself/herself has no further plan for his/her life, or the life planner got ntg to do wiv his/her life...
I think those busy ppl would feel like punching me and beating me up for not appreciating the precious leisure hours that i've got....
ya, i know i'm wasting my life..
i got no passion in my life anymore....
i dunno wad is a meaningful life anymore...
i dunno wad i wan~~~

#if i got a perfect boyfriend aka dream man currently, am i happy?
if i got a platinum card, n i can shop wad so ever i wan without the need to clear the monthly statement, will i feel contented?
if i'm now living in a bungalow wiv perfect designed, highclass furniture, need not to worry bout my living, will i get happier?
if my life is now full with party, activities, learning all the stuff i wished to learn without worrying the tuition fees, will i get happier?
if my life story juz like those 'disney movie', live happily every after with my lovely family, n ppl whom i love, am i reli happy?#

The answer is NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!NONE OF THAT WILL MAKE ME HAPPIER~~
then GOD, Plz Tell Me Wad I Wan??!!

WAD I RELI WAN HUH??
WAD I RELI WAN?
WAD I RELI WAN?
WAD I RELI WAN?




~WHO CAN GIV ME A SOLUTION?AN ANSWER?~




I'M LOST

The days in perak~~

Well well well, i'm back finally...actually juz went back hometown for 3 days nia~~the feeling juz like u eat something very nice+delicious+special, but u only manage swallow it to ur throat rather than ur stomach, the fd juz like wandering along ur alimentary canal~~~arghhhh!!!cant reach satisfaction~~~

Before reaching pantai remis, we actually went to Teluk Intan/Teluk Anson to refrensh my dad's childhood n teenage-hood memories as he grew up there and received education there...juz went there n hang around for a while before moving to pantai remis. Then he purposely pass by his secondary school--->>>St. Anthony High School....Wow, sounds not bad rite~~haha, i was once from St. John Institution...lolz, bangganya~~and of course not to forget my titiwangsa girl school which i hav my crazy memories there, hahah~~this made me think dat izzit when ppl found themselves grow older, they tend to refresh everything back n find any possible earlyhood's memories they left behind their life. Well, we dont stay long, coz all of us yawn-ing for hunger~~

Hehe, reached Pantai Remis finally~~~ermm, it was quiet actually, coz my aunt went penang, one cousin sis has outed, so left not much at home, so we actually did ntg there...

Second day early morning, depart to Taiping, which is the main destination we supposed to go.
Once i reached the doorstep, grandpa welcoming me wiv his wrinkled-eyes smiling face, so warm-hearted. This is the first time i saw him eversince he dischagred from hospital last few weeks ago after the heart operation. I heard my aunt said next year May will do again as that time the doctor cant manage to operate all the 4 arteries in one shot cause his kidneys dont really funtioning well, so he cant withstand the pressure applied during operation. Finger-crossed, he will be alright~~Then saw my grandma, she was busy cooking, hahaha~~

AND AND I SAW TWO LIL CUTIEESSS~~~~OMG, I WAS SOOO SUPRISING SEEING THEM~~TADDAAA--->>>it's two baby kittens.....awwww, they r so lovely, heart them a lott...


~the innocent look, cats r expert in dis i know.....this one very naughty ooo~ n when she's eating(ya, she is a girl), cant disturb her de oo, she will bite u or ' grwww~~~' u de ooo~~

~ya, i luv dis a lot, he is sooo cute, especially his fur....very fluffy~~~but he very very thin, unlike his sister above...he very 'yin jim' de leh(although he is not virgo), i hold the fish head in front of him he oso rejected to eat, dat's y he is skinny....n always got rampas food by his sis~~err, ignore my toes ya, haha...:p

Hehe, the next day which is the big day, opps!is my grandparents big days, haha, is birthday celebration lar, not marriage anniversary, hahahah~~~ groom myself up.err, not reli got time to make up myself as i was busying make up for my granny~~~

~reflection....

~the host of the day......grandma(popo), me, and grandpa(die die)...i wish them happy birthday and healthy always~~~

~mommy, me n daddy.....wow, so red huh~~~mommy, come, we kepp fit together, next time dun follow daddy out for supper la~~~>.<

Then chit-chat, talk, eat, walk here n der....FINISH~~~so fast...=.=

Ya, going back le...not satisfied rite??like din gain anything for this trip....

Err, or to be exact, wad i gain juz some new inner-wear and a pair of new sandal for the coming CNY~~~

No seaside....Juz like wad i predicted in my previous post......yerrr~~~i wan seaside so DESPERATELY LAR~~~~



~before going back, i wanna hug them....i gonna miss them so damn lot...they two very like me de, not i brag oo, even though juz 2 days...coz i always squad there n play around wiv them, sayang them, so after few times, once they saw me, they very energetic n always follow me le.....Bye bye my lovely baby kittens....hopefully u two still will remember me the next time i back to taiping again...



~HEART U BABY KITTENS~

Lastyly, i wish my grandparents HAPPY BIRTHDAY N HEALTHY ALWAYS ooo~~~^^

收拾=温习？？

今早从巴生回来后，心血来潮地整理了衣柜，房间的书架。。。丢了很多很多本书。那些SPM的书被我留到现在才舍得丢，长情到~~~不过其实，每一个科目我还是收了一些，明知道自己是用不着，但还是不肯丢。。。给弟弟也没用，都换成英文了。。。也因为这样，无意间翻出以前收集的剪报。

以前有个习惯，就是看到有意思的稿件，都会一一剪下来收藏。哈哈，等下就可以一一回味了~~

有没有觉得，其实‘收拾’，是对自己日常生活的一种温习。
温习之前的惯性，温习之前的喜好，温习之前的心事，还有温习之前的回忆。觉得生命里，只有‘感觉’是温习不到的~~

记得小学手机还没发达的时候，每逢节日，大家都会亲手在卡片写上祝福，有些还会亲手精心制作。每个朋友的至少都会收一封，亲手制作的卡片是铁定会收藏的~

今天，随着时代变迁，科技越发达，人情味却越来越淡。。。当大家都不再提起笔时，取而代之的是简讯，伊媚儿等等，寄信与收信的那种感觉是十万八千里的不一样的。。。这个就是科技发达的坏处吧！

哈哈，写到这里突然想起去年年底从太平回来，看到客厅的收件箱有一封给我的信件，打开来看才知道是‘草莓’写给我的圣诞卡。。。好想念她哦~~我知道她有看我的blog的~~哈哈^^在这里我要对‘草莓’做个爱的宣言：“真的很想念你叻~~没错的话我们最后一次见面是2006年的圣诞节对吧~爱你哦！！^^”。今年年头还收到振真的贺年片，那种感觉真的真的很不一样的~~才发现，original怎样都是最好的~~哎~~人是不是永远都不会满足，永远都觉得还是从前最好，不然就说以后会更好，却很少会说现在已经很好了。。。

看来，回忆是上天赐给人类最好的礼物吧，至少‘他’让我们发现，我们曾经拥有过，哪怕是痛苦的，开心的~~

#别为了失去而痛哭，该为了曾经拥有而微笑~#

OH SHIT!OH SHIT!!OH SHIT!!!

oh shit!oh shit!oh shit!!!!!
wad happen to my blog??
once i try to change the skin, it appears like dat, my archieve recorded gone, my 'about me' gone, my photo gone!!!!
oh!wad had happen???!!!!
sigh, now seriosuly lack of time to tackle everything out as i'm going off soon after my papa finish taking bath~~
yaya, i'm going back to hometown...
First, go to my cousin's place at pantai remis first, awwww~~miss them so much de~~
Then, go to taiping to celebrate my grandparents birthday~~^^
Errr~like kinda rush huh??!!
Think dis holiday i cant make myself go for seaside le~~~sob sob~~

i'm sick

I'm sick...whole body-ache....
mentally sick, mentally body-ache...
but how those suppose-be physically sickness will all become mentally sickness?
i was/am moody, i got no ohm to do almost everything,
i was/am numb to the things surround me,
i felt dat my body is pain all over the corner and side,
superiorly, inferiorly, anteriorly and posteriorly....
why is it so?
u will soon understand when u missing someone sooooo badly juz like i'm doing now~~

finally i do really understand the exact meaning of 想念是会呼吸的痛....
it's so abstract but yet u can feel it so real......

想念是会呼吸的痛
它活在我身上每个角落
哼你爱的歌会痛
看你的信会痛
连沉默都痛

遗憾是会呼吸的痛
它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛
恨不懂你会痛
想见不能见最痛




haiz, kenapa rasa macam tak jadi ni~~:(

scent~

闻着自己，体香却像是你的。。。

说好的，幸福呢~

今早被简讯吵醒。。。
今天不是很有心情。。。
弟弟，那个周杰伦迷，听着周董的新歌，说好的幸福呢。。。
突然很伤感。。。