randomly~

~let the photoes tell the stories.....

今天很不开心，很不开心。。。

今天，不是我的天就对了(not my day)，做什么都不对。。。销售业绩一直都不好，几时才能开大一点点的单？我要开单叻！！

then今天放工后搭着地铁时，竟然遇到暴露狂。那个死变态就坐在我前面，我们坐靠边的，双人位子，隔远远才有另一个搭客。那个变态佬特地在他的裤子正中央，就是男人小弟弟的位子剪了一个刚刚好它的size的洞，把他的宝放出来。他迟我一站上的，就在他坐下，假假用报纸cover时(旁边的人看不到，只有我看到)，我注意到有一样东西从洞口跑出来，粉红色的，开始在猜测，那是什么咚咚？后来想想，那个位子，那个颜色，该不会真的是宝吧！人就是这样，在好奇心的驱使下会更想知道。再看仔细一点。。。我想那变态佬知道我看到了，又移下身体，露宝更多。HUIYO!!!!这次我真的可以肯定一定是老宝来的。

当然，我没有继续看，我赶快sms了superman告诉他我遇到flasher。他问我有大叫吗？shud shout VERY SMALL, 哈哈！我说没有，这样他会更兴奋的，而且，说真的，他的宝还真不小，有料的叻，难怪爱露。

哎，真的是‘大吉利是’，还没过年就看到宝。。。如果明天我长针眼，那一定是他伟大的弟弟害的。

心情话：最近发生的事不算多，但造成的烦恼却很多，听着郭静的‘不想忘记你’，竟然有股想哭的冲动。。。

~还好那个变态佬让我回过神来，忘了自己等下也许会哭。这方面，得谢谢他。。。

我在想什么？

听着‘不许哭’，曾是我七月份部落格的背景音乐，现在又被我放回上去了。
我发现我后悔了，后悔为什么这么冲动delete了那三个月的故事。
那种很甜很甜的感觉尝不回了，也找不回了。。。虽然他真的真的很坏。。。
现在和他，还是有联络，偶尔还会找他陪我吃个午餐之类的。。。真的不能相信自己还能表现得那么宽容。。。我应该不会掉回下去吧！千万个不行哦，刘巧颖！！喜欢上这种男孩等于自己去撞墙罢了。
我相信如果知道我的故事的朋友知道我还和他这样子的话，他们一定会骂我很傻很傻。。。
m.sing，你知道最多了，我是不是很傻？

#you told me that you'd never let me down
whenever i needed you you'd always be here#

都是'kiss'的歌词害的，让我又想回一切。什么'always by ur side',全都是骗人的。。。:'(

被云美鑫的歌声拉回到2007年中秋晚会那一天。。。当初真的很爱很爱你，现在却是那么的恨你，恨自己那么的爱你。。。:'(

二十多封的post是没有了，但原来回忆还是一直住在心里面。。。

虽然只是短短的三个月，但你留给我的，实在是太多了，目前为止。。。而我又留给你什么？可能你都不懂我留了什么给你，我自己也不懂。。。当初就不应该这么认真。。。靠感觉就是会害死自己的。。。

刚才去了money那里用塔罗牌占卜了一下下，不是问关于以上的‘男孩’，不想知道我们之间还会有什么。。。却问了另一个人。。。占出来的结果还不错的。。。^_^。。。但事情就是高兴太早，在msn跟朋友chat了一下下，朋友告诉我他蛮花心的，之前的开心又被我收了回来。。。

我怕了花心的男孩。。。但想下，我有时还不是会over frenly到令人误会，被讲是非。。。

哈哈，刚刚又和money讨论到这点，以前中学的朋友都有归宿了，真的只剩我们两个人。。。这次的情人节又要一个人过了咯。。。

唉，希望塔罗牌显灵啦，真的希望那张我抽到的‘宿命’会带来好的结果。。。

哭了~

以为只要做好自己的本分，远离是非，就不会看到职场上的不完美。
昨天，还是在同事面前掉泪了。。。
做错不是重点，重点是自己一直学不好，一直忘记。。。
也许对自己的要求已远远超越自己现在的能力，那压力在一瞬间涌上来，只是觉得呼吸很重，泪水已在眼睑边缘打滚，连眨眼都要很小心翼翼，深怕一个不小心泪水就会决堤。。。
天知道我是用了多大的勇气才不让它滑落，一直告诉自己不能哭，一定要忍着把泪水吞下去。。。
但原来泪水也会有不听话的时候，就像自身能力负荷不了那压力一样。。。于是，它就这样形成两条线，滑了下来。。。

*有人告诉我：“经历过雨天，晴天才会到来。。。”，都说了，人最不会安慰的，就是自己。。。*

（我现在好多了，不用担心。^_^)

i miss~

review back all the photoes that i've posted in my frenster...
i miss those days where i still wearing two-piece school uniform....
white shirt n blue skirt....how sweet was dat....
viewed all the school life photoes in fren's frenster profile...
i miss those moments where we study together, go to the lab together, break together n laugh together....
happiness n sorrow....how sweet was dat....
seriously i'm very lazy to wake up juz to go for work, lazy to make up n do sumthing that i think i wouldn't do juz to entertain all the customers....
tired......
however, luckily i met quite a number of johannians who r working there as well, break together n play around together...n of coz my collegues...
conclusion, i miss St.John's....

~nice~

the sapphire nite sky is clear n deep....
the moon is big, round n white....
the stars r sparkling, juz like diamonds, lighten up the lonely sky....
staring outside from the cab, i fall for it....
how long i've been missing it?
i doubt....
the feeling juz very 'disney'....(lolz, i know it's rather odd using 'disney' to describe the feeling)
where it's very unreal n yet it's juz so true coz it's upon me....
i thought of my hometown, my frens n my family, n of coz myself...
wad am i actually longing for?
a hustle-bustle busy life juz like jive?or a peaceful slow step life juz like waltz?
am i too 'young' or too 'old' to think of dis?
life, always full wiv questioning...
sigh, how do i wish i could juz lay on a greeny open big grass field at the late nite,
feel the soft breeze, inhaling the fresh 'grassy' aroma, fold each of my palm underneath my head,
blank my mind, n juz stare at the sky.....
i know i'm selfish coz i actually thought dat it would be nice if the whole sentul area is facing blackout....selfish rite?
coz within the darkness, oni u can witness the beauty of the little tiny sparkles in the dark...
as in life, u could realize how bright ur future can be if u hav walked past the low tide of ur life...
but oni wiv a very strong determination...
n sorry again for saying dat, i wish for a blackout, juz for one nite......

wad am i doing?

wad am i doing? i ask myself.......
y i soooooo stubborn!!!

不习惯

原来这几天一直在下雨。被困在the mall里，真的仿佛与外面的世界隔绝了，不知道天气如何，不知道交通状况如何，不习惯。。。

今天总算有得休息，但就只是那么一天。睡到太阳都晒到屁股了，我才甘愿起床，而且，若不是sunny突然打电话过来，我想我还在睡吧！在家的感觉好好噢！这是出去工作后的感想。

早上daddy打包早餐给我吃，拿着astro遥控器不停按着，翻阅报纸，这些是我以前常做的，但现在一个星期只能做一次吧！不习惯。。。

见同事多过见家人，不习惯。。。

没有mommy煮的菜，不习惯。。。

现在生活中的一切一切，就是那么的不习惯就对了。。。

原来，逃离了读书的日子，我还是经营不到我要的生活。。。

~过渡期~

现在是另一个过渡期，从学生转变成成人，从学校踏进社会大学。。。
原来过渡期是这种心情，今天可以肯定了。。。
什么都要一个人，我有必要那么独立吗？
一个人上班，吃饭，下班，等lrt。。。
寂寞一来袭，那种很‘空’的感觉又来了。。。
又想到要重新适应周遭的一切，
由很不习惯到习惯，直至麻木。。。
有朋友还说可以, 但一个人从头开始就需要勇敢一点了。。。
想回来，还是那一句，女人再怎么坚强，再怎么本领都好，还是需要被保护的。。。

yay!!!

yay, got my salesman code finally, but i makan telur pulak!!!!cannot, tml muz break the egg!!!!!plz la God, drop some customers that reli wan to buy jewellery n let me grab them ok??hahahha..........:p

想哭

现在听着伍家辉的‘需要你’，突然想哭。。。
有种想吐的感觉，很反胃。。。
心情不好。。。我很任性hor。。。

i'm soooo 'stupid'

Raining day....came out from the main entrance....i felt cold...ya, it's raining day.....the air is fresh, the night sky is clear....however, i dun hav the mood to enjoy, stepping on a quick step, i was heading to lrt station....again, mood-swing again....

i'm so stupid, get mad n worried becoz of that, i might juz ntg ....for him...

Finally papa has arrived.....the wind isn't strong, but i felt cold....it's raining day, i juz kept shivering along the way, arming myself till i got home....

Answered a strange number....it's from him....luckily dis call has made me felt better....wad's the situation now?me myself asking myself, wad is happening...i dunno...i dunno y in academic field, i can juz simply answer the question i dunno juz b'coz i dunwan blank it....but in 'dis' field, i juz cant giv any answer to myself if i dunno, seriously dunno, not even a guess one...y?

i'm soooo 'stupid', maybe i shudn't think too much rite?the feeling juz hard to tackle....mood-swinging again....

mood-swing-ing

My mood juz swinging up n down today.....kinda unstable....dunno y.....
i hate dis feeling of.......erm......undefined??
wad had happen actually.........
hopefully i'll get better after one nite of sleep.......

Life....

Everything juz seems like another new life for me....

i miss those days......

i nvr meet them for so long edi.....

i face my collegues more than i face my family n my frens.......

Life seems like changing diection, but i dunwan.........

Life, juz cannot be manipulated, sumtimes........

Sad to hear dat.......

first day working

huhuhu.....juz came back from the mall....well, today was my first day working, learnt a lot though....

Learnt sumthing about diamond, gemstones n white gold.....can c but cannot own all the expensive stuff.....n the most important is i hav learnt how to sell a product, how to communicate wiv ur customers n etc.....

Actually most of the time i juz sit der or stand aside by those experienced one, coz i'm still under training, for one week, after dat i wan to break my first egg, start persuading the customers to buy, hahaha.....

Well, i injured my toe again, sobbing....next time shud bring slipper.....wanna thanks to my daddy n mommy coz they knew i'm hungry after work, they go to pasar malam purposely to buy me dinner, they knew i was hurting my toe again, they pass me plasters so dat i can use it whenever i wear the stupid shoes!!!the nicer the shoes r, the more suffering the ladies is who wearing dat....touched!!!

wearing make up for whole day....oh!!it juz sux, i scare my skin wil get sux summore....wearing the shoes, argh!!!!!i shud get a better one next time, expensive oso nvm, as ong as it is comfortable.....sobbing......sitting at the front counter for the whole day, oh man!!!cannot read, cannot sms, but luckily can sit n can chat wiv frens....hahahha.....haih, no point la, working is like dat de le....

So, my juniors out der enjoy ur school life ya.....highschool life always the sweetest, sincerely from my heart...

arghhhh!!!!tired!!!!

Juz came back from shopping, wiv my aunt....

Early in the morning, went to shah alam juz for facial at my aunt's office, then 4 o'clock she had released from work....then, hehehe, shopping!!!!of coz, i'm oni for window shopping, bankrap edi....got no money!!!!

Neway, u know, shopping is girl's ability...still bought sumthing though, borrow from my aunt first....new year oni i return her using my ang pau money....sobbing.....bought a make up based n loose powder in sasa, cost me rm90++, n free a small case, hehe....actually at my aunt's office, she bought sumthing for me, that's mascara from revlon n a perfume wiv gold dust...oh man, i juz will lose control seeing all these cosmetics, especially the limited edition from revlon, they r juz sooooooo nice.....money, wer r u?????hopefully i got enuf money before they r sold out coz my aunt told me they oni be produced once, dat's y they r limited....if finish stock means no more le.....*sweat*...but they r seriously very very nice.....

well, juz a quick update here, will go out to hav supper together wiv my aunt later before she's going home.....whee!!!!!!!^_^

I'm tired!!!!!!shopping is tiring, agree??!

放下

终于，我终于放下了。。。

心动

今天醒来，一打开电视，天映频道正播着由梁泳琪和金城武领导主演的“心动”。就这样坐下来看了。。。

很少有文艺片会让我有这么深的感触。记得我看‘星愿’时，我在任贤齐对着张柏芝读着那本日记时，哭得很惨。女主角哭了，我也哭了。。。第一次发现，自己的泪腺可以这么发达。。。那时只是满满的感动及感伤。

这次看‘心动’，没有流泪，只是，心里是满满的感触。故事述说十七岁的小柔如何与十九岁的浩君相爱。懵懵懂懂的他们走过爱的禁区，却在一场误会下分手了。为什么导致分手的，都是‘误会’。。。过了好些年后，在日本重遇，当晚他们又再一次让爱火重燃。但第二天男的却告诉她，他在日本结婚了，妻子竟是小柔高中的好朋友。我看就先告诉这么多，有兴趣的朋友可以尝试去找一找‘心动’这部片子。

与其说这部片子是部很闷的文艺片，不如说它是最真的生活。编剧就这样赤裸裸地把人类的七情六欲摆在幕前。以外人的角度看这故事，你也许觉得很闷，但以当事人的角度话，它是何等的乱。

又让我想回一切了，想他，想到学校的走廊，没有人的角落，地铁站的梯阶，九点多的lrt。。。当回忆碰上执著，就是自己活该。。。明年如果见到他的话，我要用什么心态去面对他？曾经爱过的人？伤我最深的人？还是，毫无相干的人？

call me a lazy girl...hahha...

wow, slept for sooo long these few days...i think my daily routine has mixed up, i'm now leading a very unhealthy life style...sleep very late then wake up very late....man, i woke up at twelve these few days....gdness....the more i sleep, the more sleepy i felt....

Well, i'm very sien n bored dis few days as there is very less activities for me....let c wad i hav done after christmas eve....

Christmas, stay at home for the whole day, on9 till midnite...suddenly get caught by billy.He asked me out for movie tml as his fren ffk him....so oklo, since he needs a girl urgently n he willing to treat me, so i juz out lo....haha....ya, evening, went money's house for yoga...hehe..at least this is the only healthy thing dat i'm still doing....

Boxing day,cwatched Alien versus Predator 2..hmm....no comments actually...juz a normal movie, the story line doesn't reli impress me though....

Today, 27....woke up at 12pm....got chai's msg around 1pm, will meet up wiv him n sean n school n go for lunch together...well, since i'll out again today so called up my junior to pass him my stpm books...he's working in sg.wang though...so we went to low yat for lunch...discussed sumthing....hmm....no comments...then went back....the traffic juz so terrible...monorail worse, got no idea y so many ppl.....After reached home, went to money's house again for yoga....wakka...gd, at least today both of us showed some improvement, n i reli feel tired now...means it works, hahaha.......

sigh, sumthing bad is happening on me now... y la he's so serious??i juz wan to leave everything inside der, nvr bring it out.....OH MAN, DIS FEELING IS DAMN SCARY!!!!!!

~One Nite In MAISON~

Well, celebrated the christmas at maison laz nite....n it was fun...haha, i went there juz for 3 purposes:

1:countdown
2:celebrating ws's birthday
3:n dancing, not drinking....hahaha....hav to pandai pandai jaga ourself, if not rugi easily....

Haha, yesterday we reached maison too early edi, first group entering was us...sit der cam-whore, chit-chating n eating...again the photoes r not in my hp as i din bring my hp down, very dangerous..

Then met my anata, chiling, hahahha, wiv yannie, kah yan n mei foong, all ex-titiwangsa-ian. cam-whore for a while...They said wanna make me drunk coz first time clubbing(wiv frens)..haha, of coz not coz i din drink n wont drink oso...wakakka....

Me n kelly wait n wait but y stil no ppl dance geh???so bored....k....wait for another minutes....finally, me,kelly n all my titiwangsa frens went dancing, warm up the dancing floor first..Ya, it becomes hotter after a while as more ladies r cuming up...well, dat's oni fun wad...

We stayed until 3am leh, wow, man, cannot tahan...long time nvr stay till dat late oredi, n my mom's juz keep calling me thru my fren's phone....actually she dunno i went clubbing at dat moment,dis morning oni knew, hahha......but i said we all very 'guai', we din drink....hahah.....

K, go home finally.....n my mom reli waiting for me, of coz not wiv a broom in hand standing outside the gate, haha.....as long as i go home then it's ok le....Parents juz like dis, i understand..^_^

Hmm, dis year christmas anything special?well, it's juz so so for me besides went clubbing finally wiv my frens n stay till dat late, everythings juz normal.i remember laz year i celebrated it at my hometown wiv my cousin wer we went church, we sing n we laugh; dis year we went maison, we dance n we laugh...hahahha....kinda diff huh....

Lastly, i would like to wish all of u, merry christmas n happy new year, happy always ya....^_^
n sorry for those who i nvr reply their wishes thru msges as my credit is running low, so sorry... hope dat my warmest regard can be sent to u guys thru the air...^_^~MERRY CHRISTMAS~

需要你

读着这篇文章时，请选择伍家辉的‘需要你’为背景音乐。。。feel才会恰到好处。。。

温习自己的部落格，从2004年到最近的。。。感觉从最当初游走到今天，从最感性的自己变成多了理性的自己，看着自己的想法慢慢转大人，不再像以前那么天真。三年，虽然过得很快，但有些感觉还是很真实。。。

Archieve:2004>2005>2006>2007(jan>april>may>jun>...>dec)。。。july，august，和september, 我delete了二十多封post，skip了那三个月的故事，一个我梦寐以求的故事，但却遇上了错的人。。。

还有几天，2007就要挥手告别了。。。2008的我会遇见什么人？发生什么事？

还有，昨天终于将心里不确定的感觉告诉了money，忘了她告诉我什么。。。只是知道，‘不知不觉’可以这么可怕。。。还不敢确定自己的感觉是如何，也许只是心理作怪。。。再观察一阵子吧。。。哈哈，很好笑，我还记得以前我说过我不喜欢帮他买午餐的感觉。。。现在总结来看，都不懂要如何归类以前对他和现在对他的感觉了。。。

从旧文章sort了一些自己觉得颇有意思的句子。。。刮弧为文章标题。

~没有眼耳鼻舌的爱情，只剩下身，它的触刺，不会让你只流一滴血。。。（有意思）

~选择，到底是一种舍去的残酷还是获得的慈悲？（有意思）

~离别并不恐惧，它只是让你发现，你还是孤单的。。。（离别）

~静下心来，想一想：“既然放弃了，就别再执著了，祝福她吧！”，莞尔一笑，才发现我真的可以做到。。。（原来。。。）

~这就是人类永远跨越不了的极限--时间。（过期小说）

~如果当初有不顾一切的勇气，今天的我就不会失去那么多。。。（心情篇）

~hardly for me to throw them away~

i said i wanna clean up my room especially my table rite after my exam....But 2007 is going to end soon, n i still haven clean up yet n my room is damn dirty...

Juz now throw some of my previous working sheets....actually hardly to throw them away....Text bks, will keep for a while first as my juniors hav promised to get it from me....wad about the others like tuition notes, seminar notes...i juz hardly to throw them away....how?

Even some of my pmr reference bk i still keep it, same goes to my spm reference bks as well. juz feel dat even though i hate them coz they has tortured me enuf, but still, lying beside them study till late nite for days, i juz cant throw it away juz like dat...ohhh!!!!LCY, they r juz books okay??!!

Well, will think again whether should throw them away juz like dat or keep them till i feeling like wanna get rid of them.....

MY ROOM STILL VERY MESSY AR!!!!!!!

2 in 1

Went for interview juz now....as a promoter in lazo diamond company, based in the mall, pwtc.....will start working from 1/1/2008 onwards...

dunno will regret or not as i nvr thought to becum promoter b4, i wish to find those kind of job that makes me learn new things like nurse, make up artict n so on...n actually my dream job is lounge bar singer but it's not easy i know...well, nvm la, promoter in lazo diamonds can learn bout diamonds, gemstones n platinum oso....if we wan to survive in dis society nowadays, we muz confront n follow the flow n the trend, follow the heart is rather hard to survive i think....

well, dis is life, wer we hav n need to choose the path dat u might think u would nvr step on....but future, who knows....it's all unpredictable...dat's wad making our life adventureous....neither like it or hate it....juz accept n gain experience thru everything dat we hav done....

Although i haven start working yet, but started to feel dat studying still the best wer u need not to worry anything, ur job r juz study well, exam, school activites, being a gd student n gd child....but when u start working, ur job is dealing wiv the SOCIETY, wer becuming a gd employee n gd citizen is very concern, i'm still the eldest sis in dis family...

well, all i hope is i can mix well wiv my collegues-soon-to-be n deal wiv all the expensive stuff.....n hope to gain sum new experience from it oso....^_^....n final wish, earn money to buy my ever first platinum necklace...lolz, can get staff price wad.....hahaha....


#最近好像没什么心情blog, 这几天写的都有种草草了事的感觉。发生了什么事？最近的心情也不是那么漂亮，总感觉有些事情变了，一些意料之外的事。但变了就是变了，机会不会一直在自己这里，每个主角都会有落幕的机会。以前闹得沸腾腾的事，现在也轮不到我做主角了。不过，我知道这只是过渡期，心里会酸也是一阵子的事罢了，一切就顺其自然吧。。。

~genting trip~

The next day after back from my hometown, i went to genting together wiv 5 of them(chai, sean, ws, kelly n jeffrey)....damn, i'm so tired, but it's worth coz i met them finally after away from kl for almost 10 days...

Hehe, i better let the photoes tell the story....actually still got lots of nice nice photoes but it's in kelly's camera....


~ws n i, inside the bus heading to genting....

~ws, kelly n i, inside the cable car....

~sean, chai n jeffrey, the boys......

~n the girls, ws, kelly n i.....

~at nite, b4 the movie start, we went to hang out for a while....i luv this photo.....

Har, finish edi ar?wah, the photo reli very few wor...so sorry lo...

Actually most of the time we stayed inside the room n play card....eat, then chit-chating....we din enter the theme park as the weather was not so nice, so we use the ticket for buffet instead....well, we're greedy again, left quite lots of sotong....opps, so guilty....africa kids oso no fd to eat leh....

n hor, somebody lo, especially the boy, so naughty, keep fooling us wiv the ghost story....at nite, reli hardly to fall asleep....plus the song from chai's hp....i thought is wad, but the song very scary la, especially at night....

Then the next day we went to sushi king for lunch b4 going back....well, i ate a lot, for these two days, hahaha.....

Hehe, haven finish yet, at night still got activity....after came down from genting, i went to kelly's house, sean n chai went back home, ws went for interview....on9, surfing net till around 9pm, we went to kaki corner for dinner....n there r two singers perform dat nite....we dedicated sum songs...they sang very well, serious...then inside the toilet, met one of them, n chat for a while...u know, we're very supportive...we r the laz one who leave....lounge bar singer, my dream job......^_^

reached home about one...n guess wad, i spot a letter for me...n it's from strawberry, it's a christmas wishing card....i was sooooooo suprised as nowadays few ppl or i supposed to say ppl no longer will send card thru post ...

i think dat's the disadvantages of being so high-tech as ppl tends to forget the old trandition which i found is very meanigful...ya, dun u guys think dat dat was meaningful where u write wiv ur own hand n post it rather than u use ur thumb to press....miss her a lot though....^_^

~penang trip~

Well well, i went to pantai remis first, n overnite at my cousin place before go to taiping...ermmm....supposed penang rite?ya, but go to taiping juz to meet up wiv my aunt n fetch my grandparents...

Then is a long long journey heading to penang.....


~reached the hotel....waiting for my dad n aunt to check in....me n my younger brothers...it's weird wearing jeans pants wiv flip-flip but due to the injured on my foot, i cant wear sneakers or sport shoes first....

~me, before going to 'uptown'.....'uptown' is a club in penang...first time ever clubbing is wiv my parents....lolz....

~inside the pub....i think the youngest fella is me...dislike kl one....underage oso enter illegally....hahaha....

~my grandparents n i....

~wow. batu ferringgi....i din go into the sea....haha, juz walking around n sit on the rocks....

~another random pic dat i think is erm.....artistic??hahahah.....

~mommy n daddy......

~my cousin n i...

~wow....same generation.....my cousinzzzz.....

~dis parrot is sooooo cute....n it doesn't scare of human beings at all.....play wiv it for a while....wakkaka......

~a book i got from a temple...not kek lok si ok....forgot wad's the temple called....'making life meaningful'....

~'tortoise pool' in kek lok si....

~my brothers n i....

So, dat's all for my penang trip.kinda bored huh.......lolz....neway, as long as i went to the beach....haha....hav to stop here as i'm not feeling well after the 4 hours journey from perak to kl....later gonna unpacked my luggage from perak then hav to pack again for tml genting trip wiv my sji frens...looking forward to dat.....^_^.....

guyish??girlish??which one am i belong to?

Yesterday went for chinese medic to treat my skin disorder(kononnya...), haha, is to treat my face, coz no more stress but my skin still dun show any result.(i stop eating junk fd, sweet stuff, fried fd, seafd, exercise everyday, but still hardly to sleep early, sweat...)

U guys know wad the doctor said?he said my attitude like a boy, everything rush rush rush, like to make decision faster, dislike those 'ceh ha ceh ha' behavior, wan to do the best once i hav decided to do, so i worry a lot n press myself a lot, plus the stress from stpm. As a consequence, hormone imbalance....

I answered:" uncle, r u a fortune teller or a doctor?", n he juz laugh.then he wrote a recipe for me, all the 'yok choi'....he said:"this formula 30% is for ur skin, 70 % is to balance up ur hormone level",i answered:"after i drank it, will i becum more girlish?", lolz, again we laugh....

Then i start thinking, am i very 'guyish'?i asked my bro this ques, they answered me 'YES'....WAD??IZZIT SERIOUS??????!!!!

k, i admit, i'm quite 'big-action' sometimes...but that's me wad.being too girlish juz not like me...haha, so how?

well, juz be myself....ya, BE MYSELF!!!!!

~finally...~

I can get on9 finally, but not always....i'm now at my neighbour's shop using their computer to access to the internet....it's sooooo slow, got no idea wad's the server they r using.....

Well, juz back to my hometown for few days, was away to penang for vacation.It's all about fun...However one thing very sayang is i was flu, so got no chance to taste all the nice fd at penang, fd dat i ate juz tasteless.....sobbing, wad a waste....

Haha, Penang...u guys guess wad, i went clubbing together wiv my parents....haha, ya, first time ever clubbing was wiv my parents, n wad i've got dat nite?i found dat i'll die of lung cancer if i continue stay der...lolz....besides, went to Batu Feringgi, a place dat full of memory where i met wiv Tsunami in year 2004, then went to kek lok shi, n some other places....Neway, my focus was on the beach....i'm juz so in luv wiv seaside...

Then start my holiday life in my hometown....feel very sien n bored...wad i am planning to do?go jogging at the taiping lake early in the morning, then go for yoga lesson on the afternoon(the fees is very cheap, rm8 per class, one hour roughly), then read some bks, astro, n mahjung-ing wiv my brother...i think dat's wad i'm going to do as my daily routine within des ten days......

Will update all the photoes when i back to kl, very slow over here....sorry......:p

~boredom~

Online for the whole morning, my frens almost all haven update their blog, few ppl on9...sigh....think they all go celebrate, or else still sleeping....so sien while waiting for my dad to cum back.......

Well, at last finish packing my stuff which i wanna bring for vacation...not many, juz one big bag, n one small bag n few books...haha, dun call me bookworm neway, without gaining inner knowledge i guess i would die of 'starving'....lolz.....:p


~dis is the consequence of not wearing thicker socks while skating+still skate for second round even though injured....sob sob, once i think of i gotta take bath later, i'm going to cry.....very pain...:'(

~stuff dat i brought....a pink colour cap, two own bks, hehe, will get another one from money later...cant live without reading, except school text bks...lolz....

Well, think will feel sien at hometown, so fren, if any one of u kena my sms juz plz teman me for a while ya...haha....i'm so bad, forcing they all sms wiv me....lolz....

N chai chai(opps, get influenced by ws, haha) when u cum to kampar muz call me k??MUZ wor...haha....i'll bring u to the zoo taiping n teach u how to play mahjong if u cum visiting me,enuf kaki edi, plus my two brothers, hahaha...:p

tagged!!!!!

LIST OUT THE TOP 5 PRESENTS YOU WISH FOR:
1. wonderful life
2.wonderful life
3.wonderful life
4.wonderful life
5.wonderful life

(if u ever get a wonderful life, wad else u wish for?^_^)

PERSON WHO TAGG-ED YOU IS:
yeow li jia

YOUR 5 IMPRESSIONS OF HIM/HER :
1. quiet sometimes
2. go crazy when it's time
3. sporty
4. a gd leader (head girl wei, no kidding)
5. helpful

MOST MEMORABLE THINGS HE/SHE HAS DONE FOR YOU:
er.....spent one nite together in school?i mean during the mooncake festival....hahaha...

THE MOST MEMORABLE WORDS HE/SHE SAID TO YOU:
erm, no wor....sorry, i couldn't remember....

IF HE/SHE BECOMES YOUR LOVER, YOU WILL:
wow, i'm normal plz.....hahaha....

IF HE/SHE BECOMES YOUR ENEMY, THE REASON WILL BE:
hmm.....dunno...nvr think of dis b4...

PASS THE QUIZ TO 10 PEOPLE THAT YOU WISH TO KNOW HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT YOU:
1. nic. chai
2. may sing
3. li sha
4. chee kien
5. john
6. stanley soh
7. erica chin
8. felix
9. who else....
0. Those who wanna do this!

WHO IS NO. 7 HAVING RELATIONSHIP WITH?
lolz, no idea, long time din meet up wiv her tho....

WHO IS NO. 9 HAVING RELATIONSHIP WITH?
who is the who else??lolz....

IF NO.9 AND NO.1 ARE TOGETHER, WILL IT BE A GOOD THING?haha, no idea who is the who else...

WHAT ABOUT NO. 1 AND NO. 5?
haha, they not even know each other....n i dun think they r gay...

WHAT IS NO. 3 STUDYING?
f6

WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU CHATTED WITH NO. 6?
juz now...

DOES NO. 4 WORK?
ya, i think so....as a part-timer

DOES NO. 8 HAS ANY COUSIN IN HIS/HER OWN SCHOOL?
no guah....he nvr told me b4...n his bro still small, wakakka...

WILL YOU WOO NO. 8?
haha, we r bro-sis, kononnya....he is a nice fren tho....^_^

HOW ABOUT NO. 5?
lolz, another nice fren of mine, he got gf edi la....hahaha

DOES NO. 2 HAVE ANY SIBLINGS?
Yes she does..

HOW DID YOU GET TO KNOW ABOUT NO.3?
Through my fren...know more thru blog...^_^

AND NO.4?
through fren, becum closer after the sji campfire, hahaha....

WHERE DOES NO.1 LIVE AT?
setiawangsa

HOW DID YOU GET TO KNOW NO.2?
we r classmate

IS NO.5 THE SEXIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD?
haha, sorry john......lolz......

juz a quick update...

Well, juz a quick update, coz somebody miss my article...lolz, ya,i'm perasan-ing, juz forget about dat...haha....

So happy coz science students left one paper to go, same thing goes to me, wakaka, after tuesday, i merdeka edi....yeah!!!!will go ice-skate after dat...Fiu, dat day sure very tired after reaching home, but still hav to pack my things coz the following day will go for vacation, looking forward to dat...hehe....^_^

And another sad thing, i spent lotos of time outing wiv my parents, on9-ing instead of study....cham la.....wed went for movie rite after chem 2; thurs relax for the whole day; friday went to shah alam juz to do a facial at my aunt place, then went to klang; sat, okla, still got study sum stuff, at nite went to my aunt's place having steamboat.....then sleep around 12-2am every MORNING....exhausted....juz not in the mood to study, feeling like finish examing edi.....sobbing.....luckily yesterday my dad dun allowed me to follow my cousin watch 'enchanted' at one u, if not, i think now i still sleeping, hahahha......

Lolz, ntg inspire me to write for the time being, but still cum up n crap sumthing, lolz.....

N i luv the song, 'zombie'....make me think of 'someone rock'....lolz.....^_^....the song juz make me wan to sing....hahaha....

~start from nil~

~每个人的解读能力都不同。这张照片，第一感觉我是觉得一个妈妈放开手，让她的宝贝尝试独立。。。看就之后又有另一种感觉，但那不重要。conclusion>再不舍得，也要放手，他会找到更美的天空。。。^_^~

上次在电话簿里删除了不少通讯号码，刚刚在msn的contact list也删除几十个e-mail add.有些是没在联络了，有些是乱add的，既然都不会再联络，就这样删除了。

生命中进进出出的人太多了，有些你会选择把他们留下，有些会选择把他们送走。。。

隔了一段时间后，我都会将生活‘大扫除’一番，那种感觉就想‘重新开始’一样。我记得某位知名女艺人说过：“每当我遇到人生低潮期的时候，我都会去一个遥远的地方，没人认识我的地方，然后一切从零开始。。。”

我觉得这样很好，就想电脑break down，我们都会restart它。人也一样。。。

那我想，考完试后，我也要从零开始。开始一个新的生活，学新的事物，然后要更有冲劲地度过每一天。

那么，再过一个星期，就要‘大扫除’了。。。

#人活到了某个阶段，也是时候let go一些东西了，这样，新的东西才会到来，对吗？#

~my new colour...^_^~

Haha, i know it's rather rush that i dye my hair before the 'school-day' reli end coz i still left one more paper to go, it's next tuesday....however, i edi end my secondary school life in SJI OFFICIALLY....haha....

Juz now my mom hav done the hair dye for me....becoz i told her i wan very red de, i wan very obvious de, so instead of using normal colour developer(9% of hydrogen peroxide), she used an advanced colour developer.(12% of hydrogen peroxide)OH F****, CHEMISTRY!!!!

And i dunwan pure red, so she actually mix certain colour for me....no idea wad the colour call...haha....so after 45 minutes where i 'shun bian' took my shower, i cant wait to c the result, n this is wad happen....

#OH MAN!!!Y SOOO RED DE???HOW I'M GOING TO SIT FOR THE NEXT PAPER NEXT TUESDAY???#

Lolz, i think i hav to put some serum or sumthing oily on my hair dat day, so dat the colour seen not dat obvious, i scare the examiner chase me out from the hall leh....n i dunwan spoil SJI reputation, kononnya...haha!!!

Actually after i took pic, the colour seen still ok, but in REALITY,IT'S VERY OBVIOUS N VERY RED!!!

Haha, anyhow, i luv the colour too, natural enough, make me look more energetic....black hair too dull isn't it?^_^

randomly....

Well, juz woke up at around 11am...so long nvr sleep till tis late, feeling tired still, coz i slept at two laz nite.....

Haha, yesterday rite after finish my chem 2(i hope i got short-term memory lost, i dunwan recall of any exam paper that i hav sat...oh!!!!7 marks ar!!!!!u c.....haih....)me, kelly, wen shiuan, sook yien, chai n sean, 6 of us went to klcc to watch movie, ya, in school uniform, except chai, he changed to his activity shirt.5 of us juz wear like dat n lepak in klcc, yeng rite??haha....we bought ticket first after went to kim gary hav our lunch....wow, eat till so full....haha...then cam whore here n der...well, sorry, cant post rite now, coz those nice nice photoes aren't in my hp....

After treating our stomach, we back to the cinema.We watched wad sumthing emporium, till now still no idea wad's the movie called.i tell u, the movie juz OMG, langsung tak tau wad's the point, no climax, then suddenly i saw 'sarikata oleh', then i said,
"huh?end edi ar?wer's the climax?y like dis de?"
6 of us juz very zadao....haih,i still prefer horror n ghost movie....neway, there's still one thing i found in this movie, dat's is believe in urself that u can change dis world....it's juz dat the story line makes me feel bored...

After finished the 'zadao' movie, we lepak for a while...then go home le, so faz....coz kelly cannot tahan edi, she's sooo sleepy n sook yien hav to back earlier as she lives quite far....so chai send me n sook yien to pwtc then he send others back.....

Called my dad asked him to fetch me after dis....waited for so long in pwtc....i juz hate dat station...i would nvr like to take star lrt at nite!!!!

Ei, my dad drove tonite wor....rupa-rupanya my parents wanna go to damansara looking for my aunt...lolz, of coz i wanna go oso, long time din meet up wiv my aunt n cousins edi....ya, still in my school uniform, dat time was 9 sumthing at nite...

Reached der, my cousin sis borrow me her shirt n i took bath der, then chat a lot, bout stpm(oh, juz stop thinking of dis!!!!), bout f6 life, bout my new school SJI n bla bla bla....whereas my parents n my aunt went out for fun....waited them till 1 sumthing in the morning oni they back....Then back to my own house, change cloths then sleep>>>>that time around 2 edi....

Conclusion for the day,
1.was not in mood after i know my careless mistake in chem 2, n make me lose quite lots of marks....
2.was not feeling well, it has started when i woke up in the early morning, ate medicine b4 going to school, ate again another panadol b4 i enter exam hall, i juz feel so sick....:(....
3.kim gary not bad, but...
4.movie so so....
5.i still hate dat area, hate dat station, hate taking star lrt at nite, becoz i still hate him, ya, maybe for my lifetime, unless i meet wiv accident n suddenly lost my memory, then dat's diff story...
6.i miss my cousins, i miss my hometown, i miss everything dat i leave n waiting for me at my hometown...
7.so happy, coz left one bio 2 only......hahahaha.....

Guess wad, i'm going to dye my hair later....hehe, ya, is later....8888!!!^_^

tagged!!!

Was tagged by *sasa*...hehe

Rules:
1. Do this tag and answer all the questions in your own blog.
2. Delete question no.20 and add one of your own question instead.
3. Tag 8 victims to do this tag.

Questions:

1.What is your dream when you are still a small kid?
i wan to becum a singer....hahaha....

2. What is the happiest thing in your whole life?
when i got wad i wan....mostly not material-based...'materialistic' juz not for me...

3. What do you wish to have right now?
a lot...vacation...extra strength to sit for stpm...n i hope i'm the one who thinking too much....sob, i screwed up my maths!!!!!

4. When is the last time you last horse laughed?
22/11 (my birthday nite,^_^)

5. What did you realize recently?
i'm soooooo dead due to stpm.physically n mentally....n still, cant perform during exam...feeling like wanna jump out from the building...lolz, jkjk...but i'm dead yes....

6. Which bad habit in you that is the most unacceptable?
dunno....i'm the one who dunno myself the most......

7. When you are unhappy, what will you do?
cry, blog, eat, sleep, complaint, keep quiet...if u guys c me quiet for 2 hours n above plus no facial expression, mostly i'm having problems edi....

8. What are you afraid of losing?
ppl that i really care and love....n of coz those who love me....

9. Within 5 years, which target is the most realism one?
learn dancing....treat my skin problem....

10. When you met someone that you like, will you profess or hide your feeling?
depends....c how much i cant afford to lose him....

11. List out 3 kind of people you hate the most.
playboy, betrayer, liar.....

12. Define loneliness.
when u're feeling 'empty' inside...

13. Are you satisfied with your life now? Do you think any changes should be made?
so so.ya....i wish that things will go as easier as it could be...

14. When is the most recent time you feel touched?
22/11....they gave me a very big suprise...seriously very touched...^_^

15. Where is the most beautiful place that you've visited?
beach....batu feringgi.....to be specific....

16. A song that is playing in your mind recently.
liang bai ju shang by alan ke

17. If you have a wish to come true, what is it?
i juz wan everything to be fine...neither excellent nor great...juz fine wiv no pain....i wont demand for too much....

18. Do you have anything to be worried or scared recently?
stpm!!!!!!ehwww...it's juz sux....i hate the feeling of screwing up any of the paper....

19. If the world is going to end, what will you do?
sleep, watch tv, eat, on9 chating wiv frens juz like normal... enjoy till the laz second....wad else u can do?oredi going to end, of coz enjoy la....haha....

20. Wad gender would u like to choose to becum in ur next cycle of life?(if u believe in reborn)n y?
female still....can groom up nicely, can wear pants(it's very funny for a guy to wear skirt, lolz)..no special reason actually, juz enjoy being a girl....lolz....

8 person to tag:haha, those frens(that i knew) who r viewing my blog oredi tagged....n i dunno who else is reading my blog...so, juz feel free to being tagged ya....^_^...i'll juz tag anyone of u who pass by, hopefully it will exceed 8......lolz.....if not, then my blog very kesian....hahaha...

~海~

盛夏的午后，一阵微风透过门户吹了进来。。。

年尾了，有家乡的味道。。。

想起表妹家，就是这种感觉。。。

炎热的下午，接近海滩的一个乡镇，凉凉的微风就这样温柔地轻抚着你。。。

喜欢那种会让人打哈欠的下午，自己静静地躺在客厅追港剧，然后渐渐睡着。。。

喜欢那种会让人中暑的下午，和表姐妹们浸在微凉的海水里，净化身心。。。

我想，每个年尾到海边走一趟已变成我的习惯。。。

喜欢那种广阔无际的视野，看了，心也会空旷一点，轻一点。。。

喜欢那蓝蓝的天空，吉隆坡也没有的那种蓝。。。

喜欢那日落，太阳就这样赤裸裸的在你眼前，然后慢慢消失在海平线。。。

一个午后，一个微风，就这样唤醒了我对海的眷恋。。。

~还有四天，我就挨过那些难熬的日子了。。。

爱情，总把我们都搞得。。。两败俱伤。。。

Another song that i found is nice....^_^
两败俱伤from柯有纶。。。

两败俱伤-柯有纶
(liang bai ju shang)-Alan

*我试着听见 试着看见 (i've tried to see)
wo shi zhe ting jian shi zhe kan jian
所谓的永远永远 (wad's meant by forever)
suo wei de yong yuan yong yuan
好象还差一点 一点 (it's seems like nearly to reach)
hao xiang hai cha yi dian yi dian
无法听见 无法看见 (i can't hear, i can't see)
wu fa ting jian wu fa kan jian
永远永远 (forever ever)
yong yuan yong yuan
就让我说爱你 一百遍 (let me say 'i love u' for hundred times)
jiu rang wo shuo ai ni yi bai bian
不够还不够让一切再从头 (not enuf, it's juz not enuf, to start all over agin)
bu gou hai bu gou rang yi qie zai cong tou
你放了手 全放了手 (u let go ur hand, u let go thoroughly)
ni fang le shou quan fang le shou
我不想要的自由 (dat's not the freedom i want)
wo bu xiang yao de zi you
#发现原来我也有脆弱的时候 (i juz knew dat i can be fragile sometimes)
fa xian yuan lai wo ye you cui ruo de shi hou
发现原来你加我等于什么都没有(i juz knew dat u n me aint anything)
fa xian yuan lai ni jia wo deng yu shen me dou mei you
发现不知到底还要走多久 多久 多久(wonder that how far we could walk)
fa xian bu zhi dao di hai yao zou duo jiu duo jiu
反正只是 没爱过# (at last, we aint anything, we'r juz nvr luv before)
fan zheng zhi shi mei ai guo
repeat*##

~i luv u guys....unforgettable birthday celebration~

Gosh, rite after i post my previous article, i received chai's call. Actually i'm waiting for him coz he said later eight sumthing wanna cum to my house, need my help to do something, then suddenly he called me n said he cant cum today coz he involved in an accident, near the corner outside my house....dis guy, i tell u, he seriously can get award edi....it's juz so true...then he asked me whether wanna cum out n c or not...i juz so panic, pc oso forget to off, then run to downstairs....*sorry for those who chat wiv me till halfway then no reply from me*

Then the 'terrible' thing is here, suddenly i saw sean is walking outside, n i saw chai holding a cake wiv candle lighted....oh my gdness, i juz cant believe it....i saw chai, sean, wen shiuan, kelly n kelly's bf....they sang birthday song to me, but half way i blow the candle off edi, coz the candle is going to finish melting....i juz soooooo touched...first time my fren celebrate for me.....i'm sooooo happy, cant describe the mood now...i juz remember i keeps on 'beating' chai's shoulder n said:"y la u said u accident, i reli thought u in accident de ar......"n seriously going to cry, touched+panic....so naughty, they all....sobbing....

After finish eating the cake, we went yam cha at naili's place....lolz, always there...my comment for my sweet nineteen.....thanks for being my fren, i'm so glad to hav u all as my fren.^_^
~me....cutting the cake.....marble cheese from secret recipe...yummy yummy.....^_^

~kelly, me, wen shiuan n chai, sean at behind....jeffery as camera man, lolz.....wad a memorable day.....

Specially dedicate to:

~chai: hey kawan, betul-betul very appreciate u....i'm so happy today...but next time oso dun use 'accident' la, i reli thought u r involved in accident de leh.....neway, reli reli thanks to u n making my first second turn nineteen so memorable....luv ya~lolz, dun misunderstood, luv u as my ji mui or heng dai, haha, either one la, i dun k to becum a boy....n thanks for ur companion all these while regardless i'm sad or happy.^_^

~wen shiuan: hey darling, thanks for every moment that we spend together...eventhough we r in different class, but still we got lots of things to share wiv....luv ya always, muacksss.....^_^

~sean: lolz, actually we juz becum closer fren since this year....remember the day where we always gossip b4 tuition wiv all of them??miss those time...thanks for today oso......^_^

~kelly n her dear: Thanks for giving such a big suprise to me, reli unexpected...so glad to hav u as my fren,helped me a lot n we shared a lot too...^_^

Reli speechless, coz tonight everything juz seems so unexpected....i din expect my birthday can be so suprise(maybe i'm not used to it?), n juz now when looking at the clock, i actually thought:"3 hours left, then my big day juz pass like dat...", i thought no one will celebrate for me juz like the years b4....somehow things might change....n i got it tonight....so touched.....

My wishes:

*i wish all the ppl around me(those who luv me n those i luv) will happy n stay healthy always...

*i wish i can get gd result in my stpm n enter u+getting the course i wan....(lolz, still hav 4 more papers to go, i hav to study harder if wan to achieve gd result...)

*laz one....i keep it for myself....i wish_____________________.

Conclusion, stpm is hard....

Fiu......time passes sooooo faz, i hav finished half of my paper, four left, but that's where the nightmare start>>>bio 1, maths 2, chem 2 and bio 2.....oh man, i scare paper two, hav to write lots of essay....argh!!!!!well, let me make a summary regarding to the paper that i hav sat.

~PA(1)-dasar was hard, kenegaraan ok, calculation ok....conclusion, did so many past year oso no use coz less than 5 questions r past year questions...

~PA(2)-whole paper actually not reli tough, but dis paper is very time concerning where u hav to finish 2 essays(250-300 words), 2 short comprehensions, one graf, n one question regarding to info transferation within 3 hours....wad u hav to do is keep ur mind clear n keeps on writing, non-stop....seriously got no time for double checking, juz scare i accidentally used short form....

~chem (1)-calc was tough, theory ques oso not easy...no past year...sigh....conclusion, i finished up my M16 bullet while doing dis paper, means>>>tembak la....

~maths (1)-huiyo, ini lagi teruk, mampus kao kao....first ques oredi ruin my confidence n slow down my momentum...then i start panic-ing, second ques oso cant do...then, keeps on recalling wad mr.han has told us:"dun fall in luv wiv the question that u dunno, juz move on...", so i skip n skip, finally oso back to the same questions, dis time can do edi coz my mood has adapted to the situation...conclusion>>mpm plays trick wiv us....n one thing very funny, after we finished the paper, n turn my head around, saw sum of my frens shaking their head, means wad?tough lo....n yes, very very de tough, no past year, no trial-like question, no other's schools' ques-like oso....

Final conclusion>>exam smart is more important than everything(study hard n study smart).....n took chicken essence before u enter exam hall, very effective, seriously can keep ur mind clear throughout the hours....however, almost fall sick today after i took chicken essence for 4 days consequently...besides, i ate choclolate each time i enter exam hall....y?coz chocolate can raise our glucose level in blood n calm us down, if u're too nervous or wad....so, actually abit headache now....too heaty edi....

well, today is my birthday too, but ntg special....still i wan to thanks to all my frens that had wishes me,sms me thru hp n frenster.....thanks...^_^
the most important is, thanks to my parents for bringing me to dis world, especially mommy, coz i know giving birth is very very de pain.....thanks....^_^

~执著~

感觉，就像便宜的颜料，
经过大雨与时间的洗礼，
便会慢慢退色，然后渐渐不见。。。
是我忙得天旋地转，
你才不被我忆起，
还是你已经被我的记忆库列入了黑名单？
都是骗人的，
会写这篇东西就证明我还是会想起。。。
如果我读书是这样执著的话，
该有多好。。。

~i'm sooo touched~

~money juz came over to my place.... she took out sumthing n said:"dis is for u, happy birthday in advanced..."awww.....i', it's so suprising n i'm soooooo touched at dat moment.....second time she gave me such a big suprise....
First time was 2004 if not mistaken....i was at my hometown in perak, i got her birthday present thru post laju...i juz soooo suprise n the next second i called her up n thanks her....dis time i gav her a big hug....
Actually there is a story y she gav me crystal....dis is becoz she knew dat i actually was in trouble n i'm oso not so fine currently....consider a low tide in my life, so she asked a 'master'(i supposed) about me, n based on wad i need, she chose a crystal for me, in order to giv me luck....u c, how gd is she as my sis....
Maybe for someone, it's normal for them to receive birthday present from their loves ones...but it's very special for me as i seldom celebrate wiv my sis's coz i most likely stay in my hometown during my birthday(school holidays wad)... i hope dis year, i can celebrate wiv everyone that i luv...i know i'm greedy, but pls forgive me...
Today...i'm so happy, not becoz of present, but becoz someone gav me sumthing that i need it the most currently, dat is luv, care n invisible strength from a true fren....i'll carry it wherever i am...:)

~money n i....we've gone thru lots of arguments, troubles, but all the obstacles r tests from God to strenghten our frenship...n yes, our frenship is as tough as diamond....we juz know each other so well...so, i supposed it's worth where we've been in cool war for so many times, it's all about test among us towards a perfect frenship...i appreciate u a lot....luv ya always....muackssss!!!!!:)

~My God~

i hate taking star lrt at night...
i hate passing by the two stations...
drown in the memories that u gav that night...
but it's all liers...
ppl said, there is always a better life after u hav deeply hurt by someone...
'mommy c.' said, after God has closed ur current door, He will open another door that He think is better for u to u...So, dun giv up...
i think i shud believe in wad She said n open my door to let Him come into my life..After we take into believe, only we can witness His existance...this is wad mommy c. told me....In life, there muz be times when family, friends, n ur beloved cant convince u anymore, that's the time where only ur God can giv u strength....

New chapter of my life....

一个故事的结束，是另一个故事的开始。。。
今天，我算是毕业了，完完全全和‘中学’这两个字脱离关系了。。。除了考试那些天之外，我是不会再穿两件式的白色上衣，浅蓝校裙了。还是会回去学校，偶尔啦，因为在家我是读不到书的。。。
本来觉得今天是不会哭的，但最后还是哭了。。。
早上就不是很有心情了，因为一想到要离开这个充满回忆的地方，就会很感慨。。。
虽然只是短短的一年半，但经历的，我想也不会少。。。以前念女校，与朋友的回忆较多，但现在，与老师的回忆也不少。
今天印象最深刻的就是当我们的主任在前面致词时，我流泪了。
#你们到我的办公室里处理入学手续仿佛是昨天的事，但今天却是你们毕业的时刻了。从今以后，你们要面对的就是人生的新一页。f6给的回忆是无价的，而且你们也会学到很多。。。。。。#
之后她说什么我也不是很听得进去了，因为她的第一句就让我想回我刚到SJI的情景，思绪就像倒带一样回到过去，过后，眼眶就红了，泪水就这样不听使唤流了下来。。。
我记得刚转校我用了将近两三个月的时间去适应f6的生活。。。
我记得如何为了运动会的事忙得不懂想什么。。。也是这个让我学习很多，知道身为一个leader该有的风范。。。
我记得如何为了华文学会stay back学校搞月饼的事。。。华文学会，一个最让我放不下的地方。。。与委员们的感情都是让我很舍不得的。。。
我记得我为了数学不懂哭了多少回。。。也因为考试压力我不得不让‘痘痘’在我脸上放肆。。。（不行，考完试一定要get rid这个可怕的东西）
我记得每一次一有triple period的时候，自己不是在打瞌睡，就是在偷看朋友睡觉。。。
我记得free period时，han哥哥都会跑过来骂我们。。。
我记得有一次偷偷进班放guitar被副主任抓来骂。。。
还有很多很多。。。
只能说，这只是我生命中的一小部分。。。SJI只是另一个里程碑。。。
级任老师告诉我，人总要学习习惯这种场面，有相聚就一定会有分离，要学习放手，没有人能永远停留在一个地方。。。感情，我最大的致命伤，所以我很容易心软，也很容易感伤。。。
唉，SJI，一个我不会形容的地方，那里的厕所，走廊，楼梯，食堂，礼堂，教室，都有着我的足迹。。。有留下脚印就好，不属于我们的就是奢求不了那么多。。。
当一个人不能再拥有时，他唯一能霸占的，就只有回忆。。。多么可悲的一句话。。。

soler~~

soler is great....handsome+you cai hua(one is pianist, another one is guitarist, their vocal r strong n can parts very well too)...my new idol.....frens out der, google it...^_^

~c u guys LATER~

Well, juz wan to tell all my dear readers, i'll tutup kedai for almost 2 months time.....Y???!!!!becoz stpm is cuming soon, reli reli soon.....soooo scary man!!!!! n honestly, i'm sooooo tense up for the time being...one word, PRESSURE!!!!!!!!ARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So think will oni start blogging after i finish my stpm, n oso cum back from my trip, most probably.....lolz.....well, if any special events+i hav spare time, i'll blog...neway, i dun think i'll hav extra time....n my routine juz study study n study then sleep, for the time being, dun hav special events oso.....

So, c ya after 2 months.....will miss u guys a lot....miss me too wor......*blek*.....^_^....GD LUCK for myself, my frens n for those who r taking stpm n spm for year 2007....^_^

GANBATTE!!!!

Today is 19/10/2007.....i left exactly ONE MONTH to prepare for my stpm.....muz fight till the end....GANBATTE!!!!!

To all the stpm candidates, ganbatte in ur studies.....dun on9 for sooo long oooo...........^_^

Well, very longing for the life after the scary exam......Dad said will bring me to Langkawi n Penang after my exam....k, looking forward to dat.....Beach, sun-shine, cam-whore, i'm cuming!!!!!!^_^

my name says...

Well, i found dis in *sasa*'s blog.....^_^
http://www.lovepm.com/zodiac/namesays/main.shtml

Check ur name!well, i juz checked mine...n dis is wad my name says....

Sexuality is the key word for them. They are extremely sensitive and vocal in their thoughts. They are the demonstrative kind. Communicating with others is no problem for them. In fact they thrive in-group discussions. Sexuality with sensuality combined with their open nature is a deadly weapon. And you are a goner if you come across them. But no need to be afraid 'cause these extrovert are not the fanatic kind and knows how to maintain their limitation, i.e. they can put a stop to their continuous chatter. Reason being public appearance matters a lot them and they want to move in the right kind of status circle. So they'll try their level best to leave no loopholes.

~well, kinda true.....^_^....dat's me.....muahahahha!!!!

^_^

haha, mv shoot by my anata has shown officially.....music video from local female artist, phoebe, new song--触电...

lolz, so sorry din put up the link here, got no time to search still.....

well, ah moi, u reli got the model look har....u look chun in dat mv, lolz, nope, suppose u look pretty all the time, *wink*!!!!proud of u, keep it on, n chase ur dream, always support u....... muacksss!!!

touched....

有时候，朋友一封很简单的信息，都能让我感动久久。。。谢谢哦，linda....^_^
跟你认识不久，也不深，但谢谢你的鼓励。。。我们一起加油吧！^_^

.....

Was outing wiv chiling juz now....long time dun meet up wiv her edi, so sayang cindy cant join us.....well, chiling, my buddy since form 2....she has changed a lot from wearing, physical outlook, even thinking....well, everything n everyone will change as time goes.....

Actually dis time outing kinda bored n tiring....i broke my record, wearing high heels shop for hours....MAN!!!it's pain!!!well, din buy anything, wanna save money first, after stpm oni shop crazily....wakakka....

~chiling n i......took inside her car.....dis girl juz freak la, can make up anywhere...inside car, lrt oso not a problem for her....she even can make up while driving + changing cd...yes, the car is moving....driving 100+....lolz, girl....dun ever try it again next time, very dangerous....

~having lunch in secret recipe.....yummy, luv yogurt cheese a lot.......^_^...n we talked a lot too....juz wan to say, girl, u has changed a lot, reli a lot....u can play, but be careful....

~after dat, start our window shopping, lolz....i'm a poor student....was fitting some top in MNG....lolz, she is the one who trying, i oni cam-whoring...not reli in mood to do anything today...i'm so dead still....

~next shop....lolz, two posers....haha, she is finding clothes for clubbing...girl, y la so eager to becum a mature lady??enjoy ur final teenage....lolz....

~haha, my legs r weird....but she is a very great poser....lolz.....pai seh pai seh...hahha

~lolz, she keeps on persuading me to try some outfit...okok dear, i try k??haha, n dis is the result....the top juz too mature on me.....i prefer sporty wearing...

we shop n shop n shop, finally she got a purple colour tube top for herself...i'm looking for sum necklace, but cant find....well, maybe next time....

~going home.....chiling while driving.....

~so faz going to leave....well, chiling, thanks for sending me home.....will miss ya a lot....

心情话：还以为生气过后就会忘记，但原来在我冷静下来后，伤心才开始攻击。。。以为今天能开开心心逛街，但逛逛下，竟然慌神。。。我确实是在想着一些事情。。。

说不伤心是骗人的，我知道我现在只是需要时间复原。。。live stronger is the only thing i can do now rather than letting myself drown....muz think positively....回到家，还是send了一封信息给他："i din mean anything, juz wan to say sorry for being rude yesterday...no need reply...."。。。我觉得，不管谁对谁错，最重要是觉得对得起自己。。。不管他说的话多难听，我觉得我还是需要道歉，因为我昨天的确很不客气跟他吵得很凶。昨天，是我活了十九年第一次被骂得遍体鳞伤，作为一个女人最大的耻辱；昨天，也是我第一次骂了这么难听的话，什么粗口都出完来，因为我真的很气。。。原来一个人很气时，真的很想骂粗口的，不顾形象那种。。。最终，我还是道歉了，想让自己好过一点。。。什么事情都要面对。。。现在，我所希望的，就是开学后，我不想听到任何关于我和他的谣言，只想说，我们没在一起过。。。我希望他知道，受伤的不止是他一个人。。。

感觉就像被人狠狠地咬了一口，伤痕依然会在，纪念曾经受过的伤害，因为毕竟那还是属于自己的故事。。。只是，你选择忘记，我选择不要想起。。。我不讨厌你，但我恨你，恨你那么不负责任。。。不过，我还是会祝福你，祝福自己。。。我会遇到比你好的，我要让自己过的比你好，因为我不想再对不起自己多一次。。。~

Yay!!! i 'LUV' maths..........

sob sob.....who can help me????i dislike maths 2....langsung tak tau vector...die ler die ler....wad is resultant force?resultant velocity?relative velocity????omg!!!!wad the F**K is dat!!!!!!!!!langsung tak faham.........sobbing.........i hate vector, even geometry deduction!!!!!who can help me?????haih, but as i c, at this critical moment, i'm the only one who can help myself...means wad?do more exercise lor..........isshhhhh, hate it hate it....how can i persuade myself like dis way:"ooo, maths, i luv u, luv u soooo much, muz luv me too k??", wad a stupid way it is......well, exercise still need to do wad, no point complaining it....well, i juz wan to 'fa xie'...

So sleepyyyy..

Yesterday yam cha wiv shiuan, sean n chai till 2am....gosh, long itme nvr 'yam' till so late edi....actually 10 sumthing wanna sleep oredi, suddenly chai's msg came n juz okla, join them 'yam cha' since i promised him bring him to 'naili's place' which near my place coz the environment there very nice, for me la....

well, was talking lots of stuff wiv them n laugh a lot....but, sob sob, actually chai asked yi ching out as well, but dunno y she cant cum, so sad....long time din meet up wiv her edi, seriously miss her sooooo much.....:(.....maybe in conjuction wiv raya, so naili's place close at 1am instead of usual time 2.30am, so we left n go for second round, which is in sentul oso, but juz for a while then bla edi....lolz, i cannot tahan edi....

N now, i'm soooo sleeppyyyy.....later gonna go for tuition summore....maths arrrr!!!!!!after that, will eat again wiv frens...haha, sure got lots of things to talk later.....haha, k la, gonna be prepared edi.....urgh!!!i juz hate it.....wanna stay at home instead of going out......:(

holidayz.....but ntg to happy bout it...

sigh, holidays again....weird rite?for a student, i supposed to be happy as i need not wake up early to go to school....but for me dat means time passes so faz....i dunwan sit for exam but i wan the life after exam.....of coz cannot i know, so i still need to study hard+smart(hopefully) for the exam....i hate my life for being so bored for the time being...i hate myself for not doing the thing dat i actually like....sigh, wad to do, dis is another kind of life when u cant manipulate it, so i oni can endure the hardship that i had finally chose......it's not a fate actually n honestly....juz i dunno how to enjoy my life...wad a sad story....

however, i'm doing sumthing rite now where the result oni will be showed next year....hahha.....~renovating myself~....i know it's rather odd to use 'renovate' on a human being, but so far dis is the most suitable word i found, to describe my current situation....lolz, hopefully will success ya.....n glad to say dat, i've got strong determinationin in doing dis coz i luv it, enjoy it n proud of the result, erm, i mean soon....haha.... wad i need juz time...n money....hahhaha.....wait n c ya.....^_^.......cy.Low will reborn thoroughly....NEXT YEAR!!!!hahahha.....am i thinking too far?now oni october.....lolz, nope, i MUZ get it done by next year, so i muz on the timing now....

kkk, 'bite my teeth tightly'(lolz, direct translate from mandarin, juz ignore it if u cant understand, doesn't matter) to live thorughout my october, nov n early of dec, then i reli can fly edi.....can u c my body is growing feathers?lolz..jk, i was a physics student k, bird can fly isn't due to its feather, but is due to their body shape which apply the bernoulli principle rite?haha, luckily i still remember....hopefully it's correct.......:P

Well, i would still like to take dis opportunity to wish all the muslims 'selamat hari raya aidilfitri', if there is any malays reading my blog....n to all the students, happy holidays...for all the spm n stpm candidates, happy holidays n study hard+smart during the holidays.....n for those who dun hav holidays, stay happy always, enjoy ur life, dun be like me, so dead, k??haha, k la, better stop crapping.......take k everybody......^_^...hav a nice day ya.........:p

累。。。

~不曾干净过的书桌。。。
觉得自己快变超人了。。。现在的生活routine就是早上五点多爬起来，去学校，两点这样子回到家，休息一下，三点多开始温习功课，读书到晚上十一点。。。很变态对吗？当然没有non-stop，读两个小时，休息一个小时，不然就睡个半小时。。。然后十一点多十二点才睡，等待明天的到来。。。这就是我现在的生活，星期六星期日除外，都会睡迟一点。。。

觉得生活还可以做更多事情，只是看自己愿不愿意牺牲。。。但现在是关键时刻，真的不能松懈下来。。。说真的，为了stpm，我真的牺牲不少。。。牺牲我回乡下的时间，牺牲见朋友的时间，牺牲想做自己喜欢的东西的时间。。。

之前说过，考完试过后要学跳舞，我也在怀疑，真的做到吗？怕自己做工后又没时间。。。这样的话，多久后才会有？也许自己的time management出了问题吧！

人生，除了无奈，还是无奈，很多时候，自己走的路，都不是为了自己而走，是为了世界而走，但却忘了，世界并不会因为自己而停下来。。。

你们知道吗？我比较喜欢以前的自己。。。以前那个比较有感觉的自己。。。现在的感觉都不翼而飞了。。。拥有得多，又怎样？都不充实。。。其实这种感觉一直都在，只是现在也比较无所谓，因为习惯了。。。‘习惯’，一个可怕的名词，它会让你忘了做一样事情的最初原因。。。

这种忙碌的生活不能持续下去，再这样下去，真的会变行尸走肉般。。。很庆幸自己还剩大约一个月的时间，然后一定要彻底地改变自己，physically as well as mentally。。。

想过个比较简单的生活。。。其实做个单细胞生物也挺不错的。。。我懒嘛，懒得思考，懒得动，懒得想。。。外面的事情，不想理太多，因为有时连自己的都不是很想理了。。。

i wish.....

online for the whole morning, blogging, hanging around, uploading songs, viewing music video n etc.....music, again....hahah....will i hav the chance to stand on a stage n sing like her?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTZd6xry6aA
ok, end of dis year.....giv it a try......:)

~ because i'm a girl ~ by kiss

这首韩国歌之前很hit，现在应该也还不错吧！mv超感人的。。。相信很多人都看过。。。就是说女主角不小心打翻chemical solution，赔了双眼睛，然后身为摄影师的男友就捐了自己的眼角膜给她。。。相信大家都懂了吧。。。今天只想将它的翻译post上来，因为歌词很到位，完全是我现在的心情写照。。。

~ because i'm a girl ~ by kiss

i just cant understand the hearts of men
they tell you they want you
and then they leave you
this is the first time
you're special
I believed those words
and I was so happy
you should have told me
you didn't like me anymore
but I couldn't see that
and you just rushed me
although I will curse you
I'll still miss you
since I am a girl
to whom love is everything

i heard that if you give up things too easily
to a man,
he will get bored with you
i don't think this is wrong
a girl says that she will never be fooled again
but she will fall in love again
hey babe
the pain it's not enough to describe how i feel
we were so happy together
but i know
now i've been blind
you told me that you'd never let me down
whenever i needed you you'd always be here
i can forgive but i cant forget
even though you hurt me
i still love you...i still love you
don't take advantage of a girl's willingness
to do anything for love and her caring instinct
i didn't know that
to be born as a girl
and to be loved
was so hard
although i will curse you
i'll still miss you
since i am a girl,
to whom love is everything
although i will curse you
i'll still miss you
since i am a girl,
to whom love is everything


~it's juz soooo true.....who is the composer neway?~

难。。。

第一次觉得读书很难。。。拿回一些试卷了。。。bio omg，paper 2才score一半，paper 1 okla。。。数学，满意啦。。。其他，不是很有眼睛看就对了。。。
唉，还是给bio老师shoot了几round。。。开始觉得bio很难读。。。我能不能call去mpm告诉那里的工作人员我不想考？
还剩下一个多月。。。一定要死命‘煲’书了。。。
希望考完后，妈妈答应让我和朋友去旅行啦，解压嘛！:p

Yay.......

Yay, finish my trial finally....well, relax for one day, say 'NO' to books for one day....

Well, after my last paper, 11 of us (li jia, pei sun, kok loon, wei loon, yi juin, siao huoy, wen shiuan, sook yien, siong voon, sean n i) go to times square to watch movie....b4 dat, we went for lunch at u-village first.....of coz, 11 ppls gathered together, sure got lots of funny things happen one.....after dat, go to times square n meet up wiv chai then oni go for movie....'The Invasion', not bad...shout for several times, lolz......i was so sorry coz my 'screaming' frighten wen shiuan, haha, lolz, darling, i did it but i din meant it......plz forgive me ok??hahaha.....well, overall the movie quite nice.....

After the movie, go for bowling.....well, it was my first time playing bowling, n my result sux la.....bottom 2....haha, call me 'queen of longkang'......XD! n i broke my nail....sob sob......

well, now very very tired actually.........dunno, tired+not reli in mood today....so, not reli talk much throughout the outing....sorry pals...neway, outing wiv u guys still very nice....next time ajak again ya.........^_^

希望。。。

如果一切顺利，这个星期六又有一个表演了。。。希望一切顺利，因为演唱歌曲是我很喜欢的歌。。。'jane', from serene。。。也许这首歌还新吧，所以找不到它的music score，那天会用classical guitar吧。。。整首歌只差bridge还找不到chord。。。真的要催我爸了。。。
其实爸真的很厉害，第一次觉得他那么厉害。'jane'他只听了两次，就可以弹了，还帮serene parts。。。想说服爸那天当我的pianist，但他都不肯。。。有少少的失望。。。:(
昨天在菱大姐的婚礼上唱了满多首歌。。。算是帮这个星期六warm up吧！在一堆不认识的人前唱歌，多少还是需要勇气。。。努力累积经验中。。。我现在真的很需要勇气。。。
当自己真的可以没有丝毫紧张的站在台上唱歌，相信成果会像练习一样relatively满意。。。也许在别人眼中没有一百分，但一定要做到自己满意为止。。。我不想每一次唱完后回到后台的第一句话就是：“arghhhhh.......我唱到很烂！！！！”
希望一切顺利，希望爸不要再说‘明天才帮你弄’，希望那天真的可以唱'jane'。。。
如果真的可以唱‘jane’，那么希望那天的音响不要像上次那样，希望那天自己能在状况里面，希望那天的feel能恰到好处，希望那天不要状况百出。。。
祈祷-ing。。。