=.=muka ten cents

too many choices isn't a gd thing though...
dunno which one to choose...
when we're being tied by promises,
decision is hardly to make...

i know tml i'll be very very sleepy n my condition wont be gd coz now already 1.05am but i'm still sitting in front of desktop instead of lying on my cosy bed, hav my dream n waiting for the day to creep on me. Life seems like too easy for me wer i no need to worry anything, juz sit der n do business, open bill, accumulate my commission n ot n wait for next month salary...but who know actually there is stress too?stress wer u always wondering y am i sitting here n do things that i nvr ever think i'll step on?i dun like business, my fren would know, perhaps...i dun like sitting at the same place for the whole day, i luv to run here n der, i luv to mix round wiv ppl...the joy n glory of victory after all of the hardwork is wad i looking for, but y am i not doing dat?my life isn't 'hard' enuf...maybe the 'contrast' is small, so i cant get the satisfaction dat i wan.

i'm not feeling contented wiv my every day job...
i'm sick of the things, rumours n problems that has emerged around me...
i'm tired of thinking every single nonsense thing...
i'm soooo sick to think about my future...
can i juz shut everything down??!!
living for me is a stress too...

damn it!stress is attacking me again.....i think i'm still a lil girl that dunno how to 'walk' properly.
or wad i demand is too high, above my ability n over my limit?
or this is wad we call life?wer everything is undefined, juz c how we define n decide it?
perhaps, i'm too sensitive wiv 'life'....a life that i'm not longing for...

whenever i need somebody, y there is nobody for me?who is somebody?anything, i juz need somebody....

but the fact is, i'm all alone all these while....can i juz dun becum soooo independent?i'm a lady plz...i've got the right n authority to depend on something n somebody....wer is the mr.right?

outing again!!ngek ngek ngek....

First time shopping (not outing k)wiv kelly oo....met her at klcc at about 3pm then start our shopping...u know, i've been missing dis dis kind of feeling eversince i enter upper six...i used to groom myself up before going out, n i enjoy doing dis when i c my b4 n after look...however, after i start my f6, time for outing has been cutting down, n i got no mood to groom up also, seldom la....not as much as b4...after i finish my stpm, ya, i went shopping, but seldom take photo, coz i very k the impurities on my face, dat's the evidence of my hardwork for my entire f6 life, sleep 5 hours per day, stress n bla bla bla, thus causing hormonal imbalance....sigh!!!but it's worth afterall....*wink*

Well well, actually we not reli come for shopping, juz window shopping, do some survey first b4 we reli start 'shopping' hahahah!!!n we bought few things actually, kelly bought a bead necklace, i bought a 'normal' necklace n a ring, the design for the ring very special, dat's y i bought it...opps, forgot to take pic pulak, pai seh ya!!!:p




~reached klcc....i met my primary schoolmate oo, lee boon kim...but i dun think he remember me...coz i passed his working place few times, thought wanna smile at him de, but scare he misunderstood dat i'm trying to 'shot' him, wakkak....so juz let it be ba....

~ya, again, we went to kim gary....i remember last time that we went was after we hav our chemistry paper 2....one gang of us was wearing school uniform n lepak in klcc...dat mood was sooo diff...reli enjoy every outing wiv them de...^_^

~above is kelly's meal....steak wiv baked cheese rice...no idea if it's delicious....

~mine....fish chip wrapped egg rice wiv mushroom...i luv fish!!!wakakka....

~after finish our meal, we went window shopping for a while, went toilet to touch-up...then sit there n wait for nic n jeff....well well, both of us luv taking picture...hehe, dat's the result....^_^

~again kelly n i.....:p

~again, wkakaka!!!!!

~still waiting......boring neh.....

~finally, nic has reached first....he said i look diff today n i becum thinner...thinner?izzit true?hahhaha...well, cutting down fats at the right place is always a pleasant thing, juz hope that i still maintain the 'cup' shud be...well, i'm not losing weight intentionally, i weigh heavy though, 49 kg man!!!!i juz weigh dis morning while having yoga in money's place. n one more great new for me, my head stand shows sum improvement ooo!!^_^

i think the style of my outlook has changed...i remember laz time ppl used to describe me as a 'cute' girl, coz for sure i'm not pretty, plus my face very big, eyes small small, very chubby like dat, so they say i cute ba...but hor, nowadays, ppl no longer call me cute girl le...my collegue said i'm more to wild type...kelly oso said so...erm, it's a gd thing i think, coz dat's wad i wan...i prefer a wild look rather than a girl-next-door look....hehe, gd gd, next target, sexy look!well well, gonna thoroughly cure my skin first...curing k?reli takes time to get rid the blemish, ishhh!!!!

i'm very naughty er...how??!!i'm very slow leh, when all my frens going to stop playing, i'm the only one who is only going to start playing...enjoy my life till the max!!!yeah~^_^

爱你的两个我

OH~城市的火
对比我内心的落漠
我恨我自己的软弱
离不开你的温柔
另一个我 提醒着我
不能永远对你宽容
连自己要什么 都没把握
以后如何面对生活
OH 我就是太念旧
习惯的都是舍不得丢
受委屈 不如说爱你爱的太久
b'coz i want u
跟自己在拔河
能怎样呢? 爱你的两个我
迷途在进退这之中
b'coz i luv u
跟自己在拔河
你有多爱我 爱过我什么
我会倾听着
别让我等的太久
OH~我天一亮 就要离开
还给你全部的自由
你会感到愧疚还是解脱
我很在乎你的感受
oh~我数到99
电话仍坚持它的沉默
这一刻
我知道
我已输掉了所有

难

到后来才发现，做决定最难。。。
决定读什么科系，难！
决定进哪一所大学，难！
决定人生，难！
决定自己的未来，难！
就连决定我和你的关系，要结束还是继续，也很难。。。
知道自己都不喜欢你，也不会想要你当我的男友，
但偏偏就是很‘难’放得下你，
所以才继续让自己在背后煎熬，
做决定，很难。。。

impurities

Finally, we hav made our relationship very very clear. We clearly know dat we juz can walk till here, n we hav confessed to each other wad we actually wan. We only can be fren forever, but wiv some impurities inside....

~dream~

do u know, become a singer is always my dream...now there is a chance for me to start the first step, i hope i can get it...^_^

Thanks to them (kelly, jeff, chai n sean)...especially chai, u has opened the door for me, i can c light is coming in, lolz, thanks my fren....^_^

回来了

终于，我回来了。总算能抽一点时间给我的部落格。之前都忙工作，晚上就忙着与朋友outing，都没舍时间上网。
最近，发生的事情不算多。。。拿了stpm成绩，很满意，因为没预料到自己会拿到全A的（一个A, 三个A-，cgpa是3.75）。所以，这几天已回到家就是上网找大学与科系的资料，然后又忙着打电话给老师及seniors们问问‘行情’。
回想，高三那一年半的付出是值得的。每天只睡五个小时，每天k书。脸上的痘痘也值得的，虽然还没完全痊愈。
以前，对我来说，读大学，是件遥不可及的事，现在却如此真实的摆在我眼前，真的很快。
现在唯有希望自己会拿到自己想要的科系，进到心目中的大学。。。