~start from nil~

~每个人的解读能力都不同。这张照片，第一感觉我是觉得一个妈妈放开手，让她的宝贝尝试独立。。。看就之后又有另一种感觉，但那不重要。conclusion>再不舍得，也要放手，他会找到更美的天空。。。^_^~

上次在电话簿里删除了不少通讯号码，刚刚在msn的contact list也删除几十个e-mail add.有些是没在联络了，有些是乱add的，既然都不会再联络，就这样删除了。

生命中进进出出的人太多了，有些你会选择把他们留下，有些会选择把他们送走。。。

隔了一段时间后，我都会将生活‘大扫除’一番，那种感觉就想‘重新开始’一样。我记得某位知名女艺人说过：“每当我遇到人生低潮期的时候，我都会去一个遥远的地方，没人认识我的地方，然后一切从零开始。。。”

我觉得这样很好，就想电脑break down，我们都会restart它。人也一样。。。

那我想，考完试后，我也要从零开始。开始一个新的生活，学新的事物，然后要更有冲劲地度过每一天。

那么，再过一个星期，就要‘大扫除’了。。。

#人活到了某个阶段，也是时候let go一些东西了，这样，新的东西才会到来，对吗？#

~my new colour...^_^~

Haha, i know it's rather rush that i dye my hair before the 'school-day' reli end coz i still left one more paper to go, it's next tuesday....however, i edi end my secondary school life in SJI OFFICIALLY....haha....

Juz now my mom hav done the hair dye for me....becoz i told her i wan very red de, i wan very obvious de, so instead of using normal colour developer(9% of hydrogen peroxide), she used an advanced colour developer.(12% of hydrogen peroxide)OH F****, CHEMISTRY!!!!

And i dunwan pure red, so she actually mix certain colour for me....no idea wad the colour call...haha....so after 45 minutes where i 'shun bian' took my shower, i cant wait to c the result, n this is wad happen....

#OH MAN!!!Y SOOO RED DE???HOW I'M GOING TO SIT FOR THE NEXT PAPER NEXT TUESDAY???#

Lolz, i think i hav to put some serum or sumthing oily on my hair dat day, so dat the colour seen not dat obvious, i scare the examiner chase me out from the hall leh....n i dunwan spoil SJI reputation, kononnya...haha!!!

Actually after i took pic, the colour seen still ok, but in REALITY,IT'S VERY OBVIOUS N VERY RED!!!

Haha, anyhow, i luv the colour too, natural enough, make me look more energetic....black hair too dull isn't it?^_^

randomly....

Well, juz woke up at around 11am...so long nvr sleep till tis late, feeling tired still, coz i slept at two laz nite.....

Haha, yesterday rite after finish my chem 2(i hope i got short-term memory lost, i dunwan recall of any exam paper that i hav sat...oh!!!!7 marks ar!!!!!u c.....haih....)me, kelly, wen shiuan, sook yien, chai n sean, 6 of us went to klcc to watch movie, ya, in school uniform, except chai, he changed to his activity shirt.5 of us juz wear like dat n lepak in klcc, yeng rite??haha....we bought ticket first after went to kim gary hav our lunch....wow, eat till so full....haha...then cam whore here n der...well, sorry, cant post rite now, coz those nice nice photoes aren't in my hp....

After treating our stomach, we back to the cinema.We watched wad sumthing emporium, till now still no idea wad's the movie called.i tell u, the movie juz OMG, langsung tak tau wad's the point, no climax, then suddenly i saw 'sarikata oleh', then i said,
"huh?end edi ar?wer's the climax?y like dis de?"
6 of us juz very zadao....haih,i still prefer horror n ghost movie....neway, there's still one thing i found in this movie, dat's is believe in urself that u can change dis world....it's juz dat the story line makes me feel bored...

After finished the 'zadao' movie, we lepak for a while...then go home le, so faz....coz kelly cannot tahan edi, she's sooo sleepy n sook yien hav to back earlier as she lives quite far....so chai send me n sook yien to pwtc then he send others back.....

Called my dad asked him to fetch me after dis....waited for so long in pwtc....i juz hate dat station...i would nvr like to take star lrt at nite!!!!

Ei, my dad drove tonite wor....rupa-rupanya my parents wanna go to damansara looking for my aunt...lolz, of coz i wanna go oso, long time din meet up wiv my aunt n cousins edi....ya, still in my school uniform, dat time was 9 sumthing at nite...

Reached der, my cousin sis borrow me her shirt n i took bath der, then chat a lot, bout stpm(oh, juz stop thinking of dis!!!!), bout f6 life, bout my new school SJI n bla bla bla....whereas my parents n my aunt went out for fun....waited them till 1 sumthing in the morning oni they back....Then back to my own house, change cloths then sleep>>>>that time around 2 edi....

Conclusion for the day,
1.was not in mood after i know my careless mistake in chem 2, n make me lose quite lots of marks....
2.was not feeling well, it has started when i woke up in the early morning, ate medicine b4 going to school, ate again another panadol b4 i enter exam hall, i juz feel so sick....:(....
3.kim gary not bad, but...
4.movie so so....
5.i still hate dat area, hate dat station, hate taking star lrt at nite, becoz i still hate him, ya, maybe for my lifetime, unless i meet wiv accident n suddenly lost my memory, then dat's diff story...
6.i miss my cousins, i miss my hometown, i miss everything dat i leave n waiting for me at my hometown...
7.so happy, coz left one bio 2 only......hahahaha.....

Guess wad, i'm going to dye my hair later....hehe, ya, is later....8888!!!^_^

tagged!!!

Was tagged by *sasa*...hehe

Rules:
1. Do this tag and answer all the questions in your own blog.
2. Delete question no.20 and add one of your own question instead.
3. Tag 8 victims to do this tag.

Questions:

1.What is your dream when you are still a small kid?
i wan to becum a singer....hahaha....

2. What is the happiest thing in your whole life?
when i got wad i wan....mostly not material-based...'materialistic' juz not for me...

3. What do you wish to have right now?
a lot...vacation...extra strength to sit for stpm...n i hope i'm the one who thinking too much....sob, i screwed up my maths!!!!!

4. When is the last time you last horse laughed?
22/11 (my birthday nite,^_^)

5. What did you realize recently?
i'm soooooo dead due to stpm.physically n mentally....n still, cant perform during exam...feeling like wanna jump out from the building...lolz, jkjk...but i'm dead yes....

6. Which bad habit in you that is the most unacceptable?
dunno....i'm the one who dunno myself the most......

7. When you are unhappy, what will you do?
cry, blog, eat, sleep, complaint, keep quiet...if u guys c me quiet for 2 hours n above plus no facial expression, mostly i'm having problems edi....

8. What are you afraid of losing?
ppl that i really care and love....n of coz those who love me....

9. Within 5 years, which target is the most realism one?
learn dancing....treat my skin problem....

10. When you met someone that you like, will you profess or hide your feeling?
depends....c how much i cant afford to lose him....

11. List out 3 kind of people you hate the most.
playboy, betrayer, liar.....

12. Define loneliness.
when u're feeling 'empty' inside...

13. Are you satisfied with your life now? Do you think any changes should be made?
so so.ya....i wish that things will go as easier as it could be...

14. When is the most recent time you feel touched?
22/11....they gave me a very big suprise...seriously very touched...^_^

15. Where is the most beautiful place that you've visited?
beach....batu feringgi.....to be specific....

16. A song that is playing in your mind recently.
liang bai ju shang by alan ke

17. If you have a wish to come true, what is it?
i juz wan everything to be fine...neither excellent nor great...juz fine wiv no pain....i wont demand for too much....

18. Do you have anything to be worried or scared recently?
stpm!!!!!!ehwww...it's juz sux....i hate the feeling of screwing up any of the paper....

19. If the world is going to end, what will you do?
sleep, watch tv, eat, on9 chating wiv frens juz like normal... enjoy till the laz second....wad else u can do?oredi going to end, of coz enjoy la....haha....

20. Wad gender would u like to choose to becum in ur next cycle of life?(if u believe in reborn)n y?
female still....can groom up nicely, can wear pants(it's very funny for a guy to wear skirt, lolz)..no special reason actually, juz enjoy being a girl....lolz....

8 person to tag:haha, those frens(that i knew) who r viewing my blog oredi tagged....n i dunno who else is reading my blog...so, juz feel free to being tagged ya....^_^...i'll juz tag anyone of u who pass by, hopefully it will exceed 8......lolz.....if not, then my blog very kesian....hahaha...

~海~

盛夏的午后，一阵微风透过门户吹了进来。。。

年尾了，有家乡的味道。。。

想起表妹家，就是这种感觉。。。

炎热的下午，接近海滩的一个乡镇，凉凉的微风就这样温柔地轻抚着你。。。

喜欢那种会让人打哈欠的下午，自己静静地躺在客厅追港剧，然后渐渐睡着。。。

喜欢那种会让人中暑的下午，和表姐妹们浸在微凉的海水里，净化身心。。。

我想，每个年尾到海边走一趟已变成我的习惯。。。

喜欢那种广阔无际的视野，看了，心也会空旷一点，轻一点。。。

喜欢那蓝蓝的天空，吉隆坡也没有的那种蓝。。。

喜欢那日落，太阳就这样赤裸裸的在你眼前，然后慢慢消失在海平线。。。

一个午后，一个微风，就这样唤醒了我对海的眷恋。。。

~还有四天，我就挨过那些难熬的日子了。。。

爱情，总把我们都搞得。。。两败俱伤。。。

Another song that i found is nice....^_^
两败俱伤from柯有纶。。。

两败俱伤-柯有纶
(liang bai ju shang)-Alan

*我试着听见 试着看见 (i've tried to see)
wo shi zhe ting jian shi zhe kan jian
所谓的永远永远 (wad's meant by forever)
suo wei de yong yuan yong yuan
好象还差一点 一点 (it's seems like nearly to reach)
hao xiang hai cha yi dian yi dian
无法听见 无法看见 (i can't hear, i can't see)
wu fa ting jian wu fa kan jian
永远永远 (forever ever)
yong yuan yong yuan
就让我说爱你 一百遍 (let me say 'i love u' for hundred times)
jiu rang wo shuo ai ni yi bai bian
不够还不够让一切再从头 (not enuf, it's juz not enuf, to start all over agin)
bu gou hai bu gou rang yi qie zai cong tou
你放了手 全放了手 (u let go ur hand, u let go thoroughly)
ni fang le shou quan fang le shou
我不想要的自由 (dat's not the freedom i want)
wo bu xiang yao de zi you
#发现原来我也有脆弱的时候 (i juz knew dat i can be fragile sometimes)
fa xian yuan lai wo ye you cui ruo de shi hou
发现原来你加我等于什么都没有(i juz knew dat u n me aint anything)
fa xian yuan lai ni jia wo deng yu shen me dou mei you
发现不知到底还要走多久 多久 多久(wonder that how far we could walk)
fa xian bu zhi dao di hai yao zou duo jiu duo jiu
反正只是 没爱过# (at last, we aint anything, we'r juz nvr luv before)
fan zheng zhi shi mei ai guo
repeat*##

~i luv u guys....unforgettable birthday celebration~

Gosh, rite after i post my previous article, i received chai's call. Actually i'm waiting for him coz he said later eight sumthing wanna cum to my house, need my help to do something, then suddenly he called me n said he cant cum today coz he involved in an accident, near the corner outside my house....dis guy, i tell u, he seriously can get award edi....it's juz so true...then he asked me whether wanna cum out n c or not...i juz so panic, pc oso forget to off, then run to downstairs....*sorry for those who chat wiv me till halfway then no reply from me*

Then the 'terrible' thing is here, suddenly i saw sean is walking outside, n i saw chai holding a cake wiv candle lighted....oh my gdness, i juz cant believe it....i saw chai, sean, wen shiuan, kelly n kelly's bf....they sang birthday song to me, but half way i blow the candle off edi, coz the candle is going to finish melting....i juz soooooo touched...first time my fren celebrate for me.....i'm sooooo happy, cant describe the mood now...i juz remember i keeps on 'beating' chai's shoulder n said:"y la u said u accident, i reli thought u in accident de ar......"n seriously going to cry, touched+panic....so naughty, they all....sobbing....

After finish eating the cake, we went yam cha at naili's place....lolz, always there...my comment for my sweet nineteen.....thanks for being my fren, i'm so glad to hav u all as my fren.^_^
~me....cutting the cake.....marble cheese from secret recipe...yummy yummy.....^_^

~kelly, me, wen shiuan n chai, sean at behind....jeffery as camera man, lolz.....wad a memorable day.....

Specially dedicate to:

~chai: hey kawan, betul-betul very appreciate u....i'm so happy today...but next time oso dun use 'accident' la, i reli thought u r involved in accident de leh.....neway, reli reli thanks to u n making my first second turn nineteen so memorable....luv ya~lolz, dun misunderstood, luv u as my ji mui or heng dai, haha, either one la, i dun k to becum a boy....n thanks for ur companion all these while regardless i'm sad or happy.^_^

~wen shiuan: hey darling, thanks for every moment that we spend together...eventhough we r in different class, but still we got lots of things to share wiv....luv ya always, muacksss.....^_^

~sean: lolz, actually we juz becum closer fren since this year....remember the day where we always gossip b4 tuition wiv all of them??miss those time...thanks for today oso......^_^

~kelly n her dear: Thanks for giving such a big suprise to me, reli unexpected...so glad to hav u as my fren,helped me a lot n we shared a lot too...^_^

Reli speechless, coz tonight everything juz seems so unexpected....i din expect my birthday can be so suprise(maybe i'm not used to it?), n juz now when looking at the clock, i actually thought:"3 hours left, then my big day juz pass like dat...", i thought no one will celebrate for me juz like the years b4....somehow things might change....n i got it tonight....so touched.....

My wishes:

*i wish all the ppl around me(those who luv me n those i luv) will happy n stay healthy always...

*i wish i can get gd result in my stpm n enter u+getting the course i wan....(lolz, still hav 4 more papers to go, i hav to study harder if wan to achieve gd result...)

*laz one....i keep it for myself....i wish_____________________.

Conclusion, stpm is hard....

Fiu......time passes sooooo faz, i hav finished half of my paper, four left, but that's where the nightmare start>>>bio 1, maths 2, chem 2 and bio 2.....oh man, i scare paper two, hav to write lots of essay....argh!!!!!well, let me make a summary regarding to the paper that i hav sat.

~PA(1)-dasar was hard, kenegaraan ok, calculation ok....conclusion, did so many past year oso no use coz less than 5 questions r past year questions...

~PA(2)-whole paper actually not reli tough, but dis paper is very time concerning where u hav to finish 2 essays(250-300 words), 2 short comprehensions, one graf, n one question regarding to info transferation within 3 hours....wad u hav to do is keep ur mind clear n keeps on writing, non-stop....seriously got no time for double checking, juz scare i accidentally used short form....

~chem (1)-calc was tough, theory ques oso not easy...no past year...sigh....conclusion, i finished up my M16 bullet while doing dis paper, means>>>tembak la....

~maths (1)-huiyo, ini lagi teruk, mampus kao kao....first ques oredi ruin my confidence n slow down my momentum...then i start panic-ing, second ques oso cant do...then, keeps on recalling wad mr.han has told us:"dun fall in luv wiv the question that u dunno, juz move on...", so i skip n skip, finally oso back to the same questions, dis time can do edi coz my mood has adapted to the situation...conclusion>>mpm plays trick wiv us....n one thing very funny, after we finished the paper, n turn my head around, saw sum of my frens shaking their head, means wad?tough lo....n yes, very very de tough, no past year, no trial-like question, no other's schools' ques-like oso....

Final conclusion>>exam smart is more important than everything(study hard n study smart).....n took chicken essence before u enter exam hall, very effective, seriously can keep ur mind clear throughout the hours....however, almost fall sick today after i took chicken essence for 4 days consequently...besides, i ate choclolate each time i enter exam hall....y?coz chocolate can raise our glucose level in blood n calm us down, if u're too nervous or wad....so, actually abit headache now....too heaty edi....

well, today is my birthday too, but ntg special....still i wan to thanks to all my frens that had wishes me,sms me thru hp n frenster.....thanks...^_^
the most important is, thanks to my parents for bringing me to dis world, especially mommy, coz i know giving birth is very very de pain.....thanks....^_^

~执著~

感觉，就像便宜的颜料，
经过大雨与时间的洗礼，
便会慢慢退色，然后渐渐不见。。。
是我忙得天旋地转，
你才不被我忆起，
还是你已经被我的记忆库列入了黑名单？
都是骗人的，
会写这篇东西就证明我还是会想起。。。
如果我读书是这样执著的话，
该有多好。。。

~i'm sooo touched~

~money juz came over to my place.... she took out sumthing n said:"dis is for u, happy birthday in advanced..."awww.....i', it's so suprising n i'm soooooo touched at dat moment.....second time she gave me such a big suprise....
First time was 2004 if not mistaken....i was at my hometown in perak, i got her birthday present thru post laju...i juz soooo suprise n the next second i called her up n thanks her....dis time i gav her a big hug....
Actually there is a story y she gav me crystal....dis is becoz she knew dat i actually was in trouble n i'm oso not so fine currently....consider a low tide in my life, so she asked a 'master'(i supposed) about me, n based on wad i need, she chose a crystal for me, in order to giv me luck....u c, how gd is she as my sis....
Maybe for someone, it's normal for them to receive birthday present from their loves ones...but it's very special for me as i seldom celebrate wiv my sis's coz i most likely stay in my hometown during my birthday(school holidays wad)... i hope dis year, i can celebrate wiv everyone that i luv...i know i'm greedy, but pls forgive me...
Today...i'm so happy, not becoz of present, but becoz someone gav me sumthing that i need it the most currently, dat is luv, care n invisible strength from a true fren....i'll carry it wherever i am...:)

~money n i....we've gone thru lots of arguments, troubles, but all the obstacles r tests from God to strenghten our frenship...n yes, our frenship is as tough as diamond....we juz know each other so well...so, i supposed it's worth where we've been in cool war for so many times, it's all about test among us towards a perfect frenship...i appreciate u a lot....luv ya always....muackssss!!!!!:)

~My God~

i hate taking star lrt at night...
i hate passing by the two stations...
drown in the memories that u gav that night...
but it's all liers...
ppl said, there is always a better life after u hav deeply hurt by someone...
'mommy c.' said, after God has closed ur current door, He will open another door that He think is better for u to u...So, dun giv up...
i think i shud believe in wad She said n open my door to let Him come into my life..After we take into believe, only we can witness His existance...this is wad mommy c. told me....In life, there muz be times when family, friends, n ur beloved cant convince u anymore, that's the time where only ur God can giv u strength....

New chapter of my life....

一个故事的结束，是另一个故事的开始。。。
今天，我算是毕业了，完完全全和‘中学’这两个字脱离关系了。。。除了考试那些天之外，我是不会再穿两件式的白色上衣，浅蓝校裙了。还是会回去学校，偶尔啦，因为在家我是读不到书的。。。
本来觉得今天是不会哭的，但最后还是哭了。。。
早上就不是很有心情了，因为一想到要离开这个充满回忆的地方，就会很感慨。。。
虽然只是短短的一年半，但经历的，我想也不会少。。。以前念女校，与朋友的回忆较多，但现在，与老师的回忆也不少。
今天印象最深刻的就是当我们的主任在前面致词时，我流泪了。
#你们到我的办公室里处理入学手续仿佛是昨天的事，但今天却是你们毕业的时刻了。从今以后，你们要面对的就是人生的新一页。f6给的回忆是无价的，而且你们也会学到很多。。。。。。#
之后她说什么我也不是很听得进去了，因为她的第一句就让我想回我刚到SJI的情景，思绪就像倒带一样回到过去，过后，眼眶就红了，泪水就这样不听使唤流了下来。。。
我记得刚转校我用了将近两三个月的时间去适应f6的生活。。。
我记得如何为了运动会的事忙得不懂想什么。。。也是这个让我学习很多，知道身为一个leader该有的风范。。。
我记得如何为了华文学会stay back学校搞月饼的事。。。华文学会，一个最让我放不下的地方。。。与委员们的感情都是让我很舍不得的。。。
我记得我为了数学不懂哭了多少回。。。也因为考试压力我不得不让‘痘痘’在我脸上放肆。。。（不行，考完试一定要get rid这个可怕的东西）
我记得每一次一有triple period的时候，自己不是在打瞌睡，就是在偷看朋友睡觉。。。
我记得free period时，han哥哥都会跑过来骂我们。。。
我记得有一次偷偷进班放guitar被副主任抓来骂。。。
还有很多很多。。。
只能说，这只是我生命中的一小部分。。。SJI只是另一个里程碑。。。
级任老师告诉我，人总要学习习惯这种场面，有相聚就一定会有分离，要学习放手，没有人能永远停留在一个地方。。。感情，我最大的致命伤，所以我很容易心软，也很容易感伤。。。
唉，SJI，一个我不会形容的地方，那里的厕所，走廊，楼梯，食堂，礼堂，教室，都有着我的足迹。。。有留下脚印就好，不属于我们的就是奢求不了那么多。。。
当一个人不能再拥有时，他唯一能霸占的，就只有回忆。。。多么可悲的一句话。。。

soler~~

soler is great....handsome+you cai hua(one is pianist, another one is guitarist, their vocal r strong n can parts very well too)...my new idol.....frens out der, google it...^_^