无奈-ing~

待会儿就要回到加影了~
开始新的一个学期~
其实，并没有很期待~
没有特别开心，也没有特别伤心~
特别无奈倒是有一点点的~

什么咚咚在作祟啊？
结束开始，从来都由不到我们来作主~
所以呢~
还是乖乖收拾心情，迎接即将来临的新挑战吧~

本人还是比较期待一月四日，套上牙套的那一天，如果一切都顺利的话~
那个对我来说，才比较像一个新的开始~
开始我的牙套生活~

现在，好好享受当下吧~

前进，还是后退~~

我又回来了，不好意思，又要blog些不开心的东西，因为除了生日那天，我都好像没开心过了。。。

这几天开始会烦，开始会胡思乱想，开始会有负面想法。。。
朋友问我又发生什么事情了，我说我们就是什么都没发生。。。
开始发现自己越陷越深了，怎么办？
该继续这样下去？还是该减少联络，减少见面，放自己的心一条生路？
为什么要放弃？因为当你不知道你喜欢的人在想什么时，完全sense不到他对你怎样时，但表面上又好像很close时，那种像下一步就会踩到地雷的感觉一点都不好受。。。唯有立即逃离，不然最后被炸得粉身碎骨，我能怨谁？
开口？难道我没想过吗？但没把握的事我是不会做的。。。你说我自卑也好，怕死也好，我都不管，我就是怕死！！怎样！！怎样！！

那种感觉又回来了。。。谁说暗恋也是一种幸福？bullshit!!!!

已经做了最坏的心理准备，就是，在我什么都没做的情况下，我会失去他。。。

我就是没胆。。。我承认。。。

为了一个你喜欢，但他不知道自己喜欢他的人，伤心是难免的，但不是应该~

random update~~

back back back!!!!finally~~~~

Finally finish my final, it was sux, that's wad i can comment....first time feeeeeel dat stress u know...n finally i understand y some mahasiswa and mahasiswi will commit suicide~~~but still it has over.....yippie!!!!!

well, start working at klcc, selling RENE FURTERER, a hair care product from France....once think dat need to work, one word>>>SIEN...maybe instead of feeling sien sien dei, i shud hav learn to make my life more colourful......

Fortunately, i still manage to get some rest b4 starting to work....went back to hometown to accompany my grandparents....went movie, 2012 wiv my physio fren n overnight at their place....then went a late night movie<> with den.....these two movies makes me learn to appreciate wad we hav currently, but not to demand too much, u'll need to pay more than wad u demand.....n 2012 not bad a movie also.....i wonder if or earth will turn out like that in the future 2 years....well, God decides this....

N one more pleasant thing, hehe, if everything goes well, 1st of dec will start to wear a seperator on my teeth, n after few weeks i can start my bracing....huhu..so excited once think about it....may everything goes well then....coz i've waited for one year plus.....*whee*^^

work work work later!!!!!!!!!>.<

away~~~

huhu, i'm here to bid a transient gdbye............yyy???
becoz....
becoz.................
i'll be having final next week until almost mid of nov............urgh!!!!
this sem final is totally a nightmare for me~~~

well, pharmacology make me sick for memorising all the drugs, their MOA and side effects.....reli headache with this.......
Chemistry n its 'derivatives' wakakaka..........make me look stupid!!!
sigh...

Conclusion, break both legs for myself n to frens who r having exam also....

Jia You, Jia You.........JIA YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

^^

i'm scared!!!!!!!!!down~~~

Now is 2.00am, n yes, i juz finished my mcd filet-o-fish set....tml 9.00am dance practice again, i supposed right on my bed now instead of blogging~~~BUT!! BUT!! I REALLY NEED A WAY OUT!!!!

I shouldnt be complained here as i was willing to join this n dance all 6 dances at the first place, neway, i juz wanna say it out to make myself feel better.......

Practised for 2 days (whole day) continuously.....n finally we ALMOST completed all 6 dances....juz need to polish up all the movement...n we only left ONE WEEK for performance.....n seriously, our dance, none of one can move to the stage........First time i feel so stress!!!!!!!

Today being the first time we do a full run on dance without drama....ya, non-stop, after 1st dance continue wiv 2nd dance...the outcome of 6 dances, terrible+horrible+vegetable!!!!!
i knew all the main campus dancers din mentally prepared for the following dance as we reli reli tired as in physically n mentally......Thank God teacher din reli scold us as they knew we r tired too n we juz finish all the movement by yesterday n today, not reli familiar completely wiv all the movement yet....they juz wanna c how well we can handle if anything happen on stage....

First time i saw my dancemates blurred until ask us where she supposed to stand,
First time i saw my dancemates blank until ask us wad's the dance all about...(by the time we all finish choreograph the dance edi),
First time i found myself reach the place but dunno wad movement to start...
First time i found myself langsung blank for the next movement like we nvr did b4......
First time i found our dance sooooooooo CHAOS!!!!
First time i found we r not sure wiv our movement.....
I hav lost confidence seriously....:(

All of these mistakes can no longer appear in practice or rehearsal right 1-week b4 of performance!!!!!!
I felt sorry to teacher coz i did reli badly for all the 6 dances....
i din mentally prepared, i'm not alert.......
sigh, this time i reli reli feel that i got no confidence in handling each dance....:(

B4 start the first dance, i reli can feel my heart beat faster, first time i feel that like i'm getting heart attack u know~~

Well, treat today as an experience.....i reli hope dat the next rehearsal, all the dancers can dance better, cannot worse than this time seriously.....

GOD!!!!!!!giv all the pt-30 dancers power for one week plus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!only one week plus plz~~~~~~~~~~~all of us must dance till finish the performance........

JIA YOU EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hypnotise myself that my body, my muscle isnt pain, (eventhought it is, doubt if tml can move or not)
hypnotise myself that my skin is not itchy........(THANKS to fungus infection, now even my armpit also kena edi...........super duper pain man!!!!!!!!!!)
hypnotise myself i'm not tired, i'm awaken, i can memo all the movement, i can dance it all out wiv the right feel!!!!
hypnotise myself wiv everything that can aid me in dancing~~~~

I DUN FEEL PAIN N ITCHY~~~

finish, sleep!!!!!!!!nite nite everyone!!!

when i'm back to KL....

Finally, finally i manage to get myself to my bloggie again.....huhu, having raya break now, n i'm at KL now, super happy!!!!it's been ages i din go home.....feel so gd!!!n of coz, once i get myself back, non-stop outing.....lolz....wiv all my kaki......hahaha......
Friday night went to TS for bowling session, as usual, i broke my nails....n thanks to nic for treat us red wine......congratz for getting 1st runner up for ur logo designing ya....hahaha...

~obviously i'm lil bit drunk, after 4 of us, or i shud say 3 of us as kah yan not reli drink, finish the red wine......

The second day at KL, attended my cousin's wedding, far relatives la, i nvr c my cousin pun......no photos available, sorry......:p

Third day at KL, went out for movie 'Final Destination 4' wiv denson....n celebrate his birthday as well........opps, no photo as well, aiks, shud take one wiv him, such a memorable day....lolz.....

Well, 3 days gone like that......tml seriously need to study edi.....all the notes stack like!!!urgh!!!!hate it!!!!

2 days more gotta back to kajang again, so fast......i juz saw my parents for 1 day....they r all now in perak, left me n my bros~~~miss them so much~~~:(

N ya, before i forgot, SELAMAT HARI RAYA for those muslim, may all of u hav an unforgettable celebration wiv ur loved ones...n HAPPY HOLIDAYS for those non-muslims ya...^^ciaouzzz~~

bz like a bumblebee~~

hey guys out there, sorry for the lack update coz the owner is super bz wiv her life recently....
of coz not reli happening one.......sigh, wad u expect a uni student life would be??
well, cant runaway from tutorials n lectures class.......n the things that reli stressed me out is the ongoing mid-sem test and the PT dancing stuff....well, mid-sem is being dragged for 3 weeks which is a nighmare for me..sigh, juz let me die faster would be better.....
Then dancing also crash 99 wiv my mid-sem......sigh.......but luckily i hav mentally prepared since the day i enter the dancing.......so, so far i still can withstand de.....juz cut down my outing will do, less napping......muz fully utilised my time.....

anyhow, sometimes u'll think that bz life is gd, where u dun hav much time to think all those non-sense stuff.....

Jia you jia you~~~^^

Stay strong Brother!!!

~This pic was grabbed from nic's blog. I supposed this is the pic that he wanted to send to me juz mms problem make me cant receive any.

Brother current condition. Thank God that he managed to live thru the critical 48 hours~~somwhow he looks very weak........i heard nic said he's hardly to breath also......Sigh, all of us cant do anything, we juz can pray as hard as we can, hopefully our prayers will accompany Brother throughout his tough moments...

Brother Lawrence, God will be with u, we'll be with u, Johannians' will be with u, all our prayers will be with u.......stay strong!

emo-talk: this is life, where everyone muz go thru death.....sometimes u'll wonder y God makes us but eventually we'll leave also? Coz God wan us learn from this dynamic world which lived with all sorts of ppl......He wants us to lose our beloved, and we learn to appreciate; He wants us to fall from the peak, and we learn to become stronger; He lets us go through lots of obstacles, becoz He wants us to be learnt...God loves us, but He wont giv us wad we WANT, but He will giv us wad we NEED, to make our life complete....Be gd, coz God is walking wiv us~~

心态的调整

学会用‘心态的调整’运用在舞蹈上，为什么到现在才发现在生活里我都没运用到呢？

或许，换个方式过生活，会让自己快乐一点~

不要理所当然的可以，不要为了去做而做~

我想这样子，任何方面，都会少了一些执著吧！

*最近的情绪敏感的可以，心情晃得很厉害~我真的真的真的超级超级讨厌荷尔蒙失调！！！*

*接下来的日子，练舞，练舞，再练舞~~肌肉还没痛完隔天又要拉筋。。。不过痛得甘愿，因为我喜欢contemp。。。。什么是contemp?看看以上的照片就知道了。有人形容它是一种‘看不明白’的舞。。。要将contemp跳好，难度很高~很开心这次的PT又学了一些新东西，舞步也明显的比起去年难。。。加油，一定可以的~~舞蹈可以，生活也一定可以~

Post reply~

If my doctor told me i hav only left 48 hours or less than 48 hours to live......
I may cry, as i know i'm going to leave this world in no time.....
I no longer can do things as usual in this world.....
I'll use the remaining the 48 or maybe less than 48 hours to tell ppl around me how much i love them.....
I love my parents for giving the chance to me for seeing this world...
I love my siblings and friends for accompanying throghout my life.......
I love my lover for letting me learnt in love......
I love my enemy for hurting me enuf n let me grow stronger.....
I love everything i can, i wish....
I wish to hold my breath to accomplish things i wan n i need to in order to make my life complete.

However, now God is asking me to go back to Him, i got no choice but follow....
I believe God thinks that this is the right time for me to wrap up my life....
n i do believe i hav no regret in living, coz i respect n believe in God's decision....

I'll just close my eyes, breath the last breath,
and leave with dignity......

*earth is the place where we learn n shape our attitude......after completing, we hav to move on to another dimension of world to proceed our life..........live our death~*


~i would never forgot early in the morning i saw him walking on the balcony in white with his walking stick, n whenever i pass by i'll greet :"Good morning Brother Lawrence" in a very nice accent and he will reply me in a very gd way either...
~I remember nick told me i can drop by ur room and talk to you regarding life as for a person who hav live ur life more than half a decade, ur speech definitely will inspire me, n give me more inspiration and momentum to continue my journey in my life...
~I respect ur spirit for serving St.John's all these while....i respect your nobility....
~Fide et labore, always n always.......
~ur image would nvr abolished in our hearts, all the Johannian's heart....

*Praying hard for u, Brother Lawrence.....

蓝

喜欢和拥有真的不能并存吗？

学习活在感觉里~

每一次读一炉米的文章，每一次都很有感觉。。。而每一次感觉来到，才发现自己其实当了机械人好久好久~~

发现，很少和自己对话~
发现，理智多过感性~

是不是科学读得太多？那些理所当然的方程式总是充斥脑海里的每一个角落~心，很理所当然地砰跳着，却忘了砰跳的理由~
很多东西是理所当然到让粗心的人类忘了最初的理由。。。

或许应该要信仰些什么，还是寄托些什么，心才不会散掉。。。
又或许，没做自己喜欢的事情太久了，所以渐渐忘记自己真正要的是什么~
原来东西搁着太久，多重要都好，都会变得不重要。。。
所以，有些东西真得不能等太久，会累~

现在，想要慢慢找回以前的自己。。。
通往终点的唯一一条路，
就是学习活在感觉里~

my past few weeks~~~

Wow, i can c fungus is growing everywhere in my bloggie...well, coz lately ntg reli special events occur....so like no point updating....neway, there is still some stories to share for my past few weeks de~~n also yesterday...hahaha....

well well, last week went back to kl home after having pharmacology in fac kl....as my nanny visited to kl, so went back teman her for few days......n of coz wanna get my hair dyed, so need my mom's help.....

n there is another event on saturday, which is carris's convo.....b'coz her parents cant attend it, so she invited me n chai instead....


~this is the bouquet we bought for carris....

~chai n i..........

actually the event quite bored....most of the time i juz sit there playing wiv chai's slr camera...man!!!juz feeling like wanna get myself a slr camera.....but so expensive, for me la...cheapest also 1k plus, juz for the body, not included the lens, if not mistaken....sometimes, the beautiful moments wont last as we wished, so only camera can do the job...the keep the virtual feeling last~~~ok, my next target, a slr camera~~~

Met my f6 senior in the convo, met andrea.....and the remaining time was used to take pictures.......After that, i went to setapak find ji han n boon wee they all again...ntg much, juz chating, miss my frens in kl........today supposed hav one pharmacology class at kl, somehow all classes in kl hav been cancelled due to H1N1 flu, n my ex-college, KTSN was being quarantined for 3 days as few students were infected wiv the flu, until yesterday only free again.....

hopefully they will recover asap....*finger-crossing*.......

Hehe, then this week i hav attended my uni New Tune workshop........finally i get myself in as member...hopefully after this i can fulfil my wish, sing my lungs out, hahhaha....i want to paint my 2nd year in ukm in a more colourful way b4 i back to KL during 3rd year...kl campus is all about study, mostly....i dunwan buried under all the text books, it's not my type~~~

And and, hehehhe, yesterday manage to go out breath n shop for the things i want....it's been ages i din shop, budgetly....hahhaha........n after 3 hours lab, me n my housemate went to cheras selatan, jusco......

~this is the dress i wish to buy, however, even the new one has lots of deformed....although i like it very very very much but i think with the condition, it's not worth the price.....so i 'ren tong' giv up the dress, sigh, i believe i'll meet a better dress next time....well, the dress looks rather odd in the pic...but in reality it's nice....

There gone my thursday....haha.....well, today stay at home.....study!!!!!2nd year is tougher a lot more than wad i imagined........so many new things..........n 8 major papers......chemistry is killing me!!!!i prefer pharmacology 'more more sheng'!!!

偶像剧

终于，我用了三天煲完总共有二十一集的败犬女王。三天，我就哭了三次。最近哭点很低，一点点感动就会哭。哎，谁叫戏里的两位男主角都这么伟大，甘愿将心爱的女人让给情敌。台湾偶像剧就是那么庐，到最后还不是走在一起。。。

这次是第一次看偶像剧然后得到一些启发。那就是，与其抱怨身边的种种的不是，倒不如采取实际行动来解决那些问题。很管用的一句话，也可以间接地提高个人涵养。真的是很不错的一部戏，大家可以看看。^^

看完了偶像剧，结下来就要忙课业，忙国大中秋了。好开心噢，这一次又再次当舞蹈员。希望今年会比去年学到更多。加油加油!^^

finally manage to on9!!!

After N years......i manage to on9 again.......thanks to P1WiMax!!!!!

2nd year life sux!!!!!!!!!!!!!!especially polymer chem~~~~langsung dunno wad is dat....

i hate gastric~~:(

Last thursday DAWN, i was waken up by stomachache.....I thought it was just normal stomachache, so i juz ate some 'feng sha yun'...well, it turns better at first...somehow my stomach still feeling discomfort for whole day...At night, the pain attack me again, this time i reli cant stand it so go to nearby clinic and consult doctor. well, the medication that the doctor prescriped to me somekind like for those who r having fd poisoining, but i din cirit-birit lo.i asked whether i'm having gastric or wad coz i'm feeling burning sensation on the GIT and nausea, but he juz told me it's juz stomach upset..neway, juz take it first...well, became better after that....n i hav my day happily for one and a half day....

Till sunday night when i reach kajang's home, and gatal-gatal go n drink yogurt drinks......hoho, dat's the story start...i start feeling stomachache AGAIN after half an hour i drank that. And the pain is very intense, worse than last few days...i try to withstand and wait for tml morning to go to uni pusat kesihatan. However, at night, i reli seriously cant sleep at all due to the pain...So, ys send me to the clinic again n this time i request for an injection to curb the pain.....

This time, another doctor consult me which i think is better....he told me after injection if u still feeling pain then it's gastric....k, he gav me diff medication this time coz i told him last time one dun hav much effect on me, and an injection on my butt....

The effect only last for about half an hour, after that, pain again. again at dawn, i woke up and go to living room wiv my pillow, coz i scare i'll wake her up as i always crawl around due to the pain....finally, i cry...juz feeling so suffer where i still cant get myself a gd night sleep at 4am but hav to withstand the pain till the next morning...n this time i think i'm quite sure that i'm having gastric which i nvr had b4.....

So, now i hav to reli take gd k of myself n hav a proper diet to prevent this from happening again...Y gastric u'll find me???:'(

*recovering*

我要减肥！！！

今天去了carmen二十一岁的生日派对，挺开心的，和中学朋友还真的聊开了。。。没有和他们拍到照，也许最近自己变丑了，所以没有很想拍照~~

还发现了另一个大事件。我真的真的从来没有觉得自己会这样的咯！去carmen的房看到有个秤，就秤秤看咯。。。不秤还好，秤了过后超想去跳海算了。。。秤没有坏，我的体重竟然飙去56公斤！！！！我考！我当场想昏倒！！！
56耶！！！还有4公斤我就60了！！！我第一次觉得号码可以加到酱快咯！

我真的吓到够力够力！！以前那个一直把自己身形keep到好好的我去了哪里？以前的我多一小撮肥肉都死命做瑜伽了。。。现在捏到三层肉我都还可以很selamba酱打麻将。。。我都对自己失望。。。

不会再赖避孕丸了，都停吃一个多月了，为什么体重还是上升着？为什么食量还是那么大！！！

不行！这次真的要加强意志力减肥！！！

1. 没有宵夜！！（某某人：下次我帮你你可以不用请我吃大炒as宵夜了。。。）
2. 没有快餐！！（coursemates们，下次你们打包kfc n mcd不用预我了，我决定吃maggi面）
3. 勤力做瑜伽！！（拜托啦，麻将四个kaki满后，拜托自己去做瑜伽拉！）
4. 还有很多很多啦~~

LCY!!! PLZ BE DETERMINED A LIL BIT!!!!

Viewing back my previous photo, i hav realize i reli reli seriously gain lots of weight within half year...i doubt where all the fats cum from???

maybe all the cup noodles n huge amount of biscuits during study week and final exam....also the contraceptive pills which i hav taken for 2 months, cause water retention in my body....and also all the chocolates, biscuits during my 3rd sem.....n the most serious>>>> SUPPER during normal day!!!!!and of coz, my laziness not to exercise!!!!!!!!!

Argh!!!!!!No way no way, this cannot happen on me!!!i'm such a girl like beauty soooooo much...how can i turn into this way!!!!!

Ok, i giv myself 2 months (longest!!!)to return to normal!!!MuST!!!!

Sigh, my coursemate sure disappointed on me since i hav promised them that 'xiao bai' will at least cut a lil fat away within 1 week....but somehow instead cutting off the fat meat, i hav had upper for 3 days in one week.....*guilty*

幸福

哗，终于忙完了一切一切。
第三学期终于在考完forensics imaging ospe paper那一秒宣告结束。我的第三学期也从此划下美丽的句点。
当然，结束了不代表忙完了一切。
第二天，七早八早就将东西搬去加影。单是把新家打扫干净也用了大家两天的时间。第二天因为有一些事情要搞并没有帮上任何忙的，少少惭愧tim~~~
其实，很喜欢新家的感觉。。。也许自己的家很乱，又窄，所以在新家睡了一晚后，真的由衷觉得‘这样才有家的感觉’。然后，星期天再带父母到新家过目过目，起码让他们相信，就算住在外面，我还是会把自己carry得很好，那他们才会放一百个心，不会再反对我在外面生活。

绕回主题，‘幸福’。刚刚看了朋友的blog，说着关于幸福的事。。。也许自己一直都在忙吧！忙学业，忙考试，final一完又开始做工了，真的都没挪出一点点的时间让自己真正的休息，也没想想‘幸福’这回事。还好在这个短短的假期总算有去了penang一趟。

认真想一想，其实我要得幸福还不是一样简单。。。
~肚子饿了，有碗‘辛辣’面。。。
~下雨天，就躲在被窝里睡觉。。。
~大热天，来个冰淇淋。。。
~闷了，就去游个泳。。。
n etc....哈哈，这样看来我做人还真的没什么要求的~

这样写意的生活要达成其实真的一点都不难。吃冰淇淋很难吗？睡觉也这样难meh?你看吧，要幸福其实都不难。
重点是自己如何把幸福定位，还有看你自己有没有发现。。。

今天的我挺幸福的，因为今天我睡到自然醒，还赖了半个小时的床，呆在家又有妈妈煮的菜，很幸福对吧！

说到冰淇淋，等下就去麦当劳吃他们家的香草口味冰淇淋。。。:]

希望可以带着这样的信念一直走下去，生活才会开心^^

changes

#when u realize there's ntg can be cherished in ur life, then life isnt a life anymore.....#

Was meeting wiv my 'bro' yesterday n had a reli long and deep talk wiv him....suddenly the conversation made me think....am i on the right path?again the question pop out in my mind...

Well, after analyzing, i shudnt be worried actually. As compared 2 my precious life, this isnt making a prob for me anymore. Well, i'm studying the course i'm interested wiv which is forensic science, eventhough some subjects like Forensics IT killing me enough...(i still hav half of stack of notes which i haven touch n final is on next week!!!)However, i can c my future maybe 3 or 4 years later...No doubt, forensics scientist would be my first choice after i grad, n i believe all of us will get into that area as not much fresh grad from this course so far, less competitors, haha....

Wad was annoyed me was, am i reli gain 'anything' in my life?

Meeting after one year, he said i hav changed, not in a gd way, sadly to say....ok, besides physically 'gain weight'( my colleague once thought i'm pregnant!!!), mentally maybe knowledge regarding Forensics. However, inner beauty seems like nvr gain. Honestly, it's quite saddening when i heard this. Because i care very much how and the way people look at me, think about me n feel me. To make things clear, meaning standard has droped!! OMG!!i nvr realized it pun!!

So now, starting to gain something which i've been missing for one year.....such as??leadership(maybe), soft-skills, inner beauty(shud hav gain more knowledge regarding life than the solid knowledge we used to gain), physically as well (i muz get my weight back to normal, n try to be more girlish as i can be quite 'boy' n 'rude' sometimes)....wad else?errr, shud hav get one day n think about it seriously.....

I dunwan keeps on stepping on the same place, i muz move forward~~~

i miss u~~

和别人看着戏，脑袋却在想着你~~
心情不好，我知道是贺尔蒙在作怪。。。
为什么你都不知道我在想什么？

forensics IT~

Second day of having IT class........man, it's reli killing me!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel that i hav learn a lot of things within these 2 days....from 10am to 1pm, then from 2.30pm to 4.30pm......However, when u ask me wad i hav learn...oh gosh, it seems the hardest ques u hav asked....i dunno wad i hav learnt....to summarize, i juz can roughly tell u that i hav learn this n that, but details i hav forgotten......my mind has fully saturated!!!!!!!n my head is in 'trauma' now~~~reli headache....it's true.....T.T

How to go for exam!!!!!!GOD, plz help me ar~~~~~

moment in starbucks~~

Huhu~~~finally i'm here again.....now in ts starbucks on9-ing, as there is no wireless coverage at my hostel area....y so eager to on9???to download java for the upcoming software that i'm going to download for my Forensics Imaging n Forensics IT sub.

Well well, i hav started my 3rd sem. N hav go for lecture class twice.
First time isnt much things, Dr. KO just assign us some assignments to accomplish within 2 days.
Our assignments actually got ntg much to do....wad we need to do juz take photos as much as we can, roughly like 1k like dat wiv diff category...this seriously killing me when we r going to take photo in crowd place in order to get the crowd-ness...i was warned by the security guard in KLCC putra lrt station as we r taking pic without permission during peak hour. Well, we still get it done finally. N story start when the 2nd day has approached.

Juz for ur information, i hav nvr used photoshop b4. so i'm a noob in editing pic. However, second day of lecture class enough torturing me as we deal wiv photoshop for the whole lecture session.....at first reli killing me, i'm so freaking frus as i'm very slow at first..but finally still manage to catch up...it was fun actually when i hav crossed the barrier...fun in reconstructing crime scene, play wiv 'touch-up' n etc....hahha....well, tml will hav some small test....muz hav fully explore this software tonight...hehhee.....


~me wic spec look....ya, coz always face with computer for this short sem, so i hav to wear spec to reduce eye strain...i got no idea if it works....

~yong yong n ly.....

~Ps.......

Life without internet is miserable....seriously....so today we intentionally go to ts juz to on9!!!!sigh.....but one thing i'm enjoy is, we r living together now....the life is gd...^^hehhe....

Okie~~~hopefully the following days i can cope wiv everything, as Dr. himself also claim that Forensics IT is much tougher than Imaging, even our seniors said so....n we hav to finish this 2 subjects within 3 weeks n get our final done...wow, can imagine dat it's kinda rush for newbies like us as we nvr touched this 2 subs in our life b4....In a nutshell, we nvr touched things related wiv FORENSICS b4 we enter uni....

Well, finger crossed that all of us manage to handle all well soon...^^

P/S: hehe, i'm happy today as i met my 'aiya' sister in oldtown cafe juz now....miss her so much, n wad a coincidence chai was in lowyat.he came over n hav a short gathering wiv us...^^

为什么~

为什么我都不知道他在想什么?
隔了半年的感觉又回来了~
不确定的感觉一点都不好，
我可不可以不要。
喜欢一个人能不能不需要顾虑这样多~

看着一炉米的部落格，
最新那一封帖子，
#在人生最单纯的那时候找到你#
好有感触。

这几天突然回想起以前的生活，
在我人生还单纯的时候，遇到了不单纯的男孩，
给了我一个难忘，不堪回首的过去，
也许是自暴自弃吧，
生活开始变得有点糟！
直到上大学，才好一点点~

有时在想，
如果没有那段过去，
现在的我会不会过得好一点?
如果没有那段过去，
今天幸福会不会离我近一点?
果然，还忘不了。。。。

东西其实很简单，
但为什么在我身上却变得这么难?
希望今年的生日愿望不要再和去年一样了~

心情话:我在人生还很单纯的时候，错过了很多东西，觉得很难用二十一岁的岁月去弥补了吧！

爱情与婚姻

什么是爱情?
爱情就是当一个人吩咐你进森林走一趟，然后将沿途最美的花朵采下来，采了就不能换，且不许回头。但到最后你却空手出来。那个人问你怎么了，你说:"每当看到一朵很美的花朵时，我会想采，但深怕前方还有更美的，所以也就放弃了。走到了最后，才发觉我已经错过了那朵最美的。所以，什么都没得到。"
这，就是爱情，错过比得到多~

那，什么是婚姻?
婚姻就是当一个人吩咐你进森林一趟，然后将沿途最肥壮的树砍下来，砍了就不许再换，一样不许回头。这一次，你扛了一个并没有很大的树就出来了。那个人问你怎么了?你说:"经过上一次的教训，这次只要我看到觉得肥大的，我就砍下来了。但走去尽头时却发现其实更大的在后头。是有点后悔，但总好过又再一次空手而归，只好认命吧！"
这，就是大部分人的婚姻心态。后悔，认命。

梦很美~

梦
有时是美到你不愿醒来。。。
它如果能成真
那该多好~

这次
还真的希望自己不要醒来的好~
醒来后
又回到那个模样了~

penang 'half day' trip

Finally penang i'm here...well, i'm not here for trip or jalan-jalan actually. Me n my family are supposed here to help my grandpa out as he will be doing his heart operation in GH. However, before the operation, i did steal the day n enjoy wiv my uni-mates.

First day reach penang edi 6pm something, so after we hav our dinner, my uncle sent me to guat tee's house. N i hav overnight at her place for 2 nights. The first night we hav went to 'coffee island' to 'lim teh'. We were trying to ask as more ppl as possible, but finally only yuk fen manage to join. Then that night we edi plan for tml's outing. Hehehhe.......

So, here comes the second day in Penang. We hav invited sotong n ah beng go to beach together to view the sunset. But, because they are planning for gym first, so me n tee went to queensbay mall shopping...hehe....She has bought 2 hair colour solutions n a sun glasses whereas i hav bought a top...vincci is doing sales!!!!!!!!!!if not that we scare we'll be late i think we'll shop at vincci till broke...hahha.....




~shopping shopping.....

~guat tee n i having lunch at yaka dunno wad ramen..........

Hehe, then sotong called telling he is on the way......yippie, beach~~we r cuming......

Well, only 4 ppl, so kesian sotong becum our driver...neway, thanks a lot...our journey has started after we went to fetch ah beng....

~Finally!!!!!!!!!!!i miss u batu ferringi.....luckily we still on time for the sunset...or to be exact, we'r abit too early for a sunset...haha.....

~sun still high up in the sky......

~the boys....

~n the girls....

~i luv this a lot~~~~

~group pic....i look like pregnant woman in this photo.....

~jumping, nice shot!!!

~this is the NG one....

Lastly, sunset is here....too bad that we only hav camera phone wiv us, or else i think the photo would be nicer wiv a total camera....

Sun disappearing in juz few minutes, i wonder, y every single beautiful thing can fade away in such a speed.......appreciate every single thing beside u....especially the beautiful one~~

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

O.K.~~~~after sun has set......we went for dinner n lastly a movie, ICAC (I corrupt all cops), not bad a movie.....then sayonara le......c~~one day has passed, so fast....

Here, specially credit to sotong n ah beng as actually i wasnt close wiv them, juz like hi-crap-bye fren during 1st year in ktsn...but reli thanks for the companian dat day....haha, i can feel the passion of penang lang....*doink*

And also thanks to chong ki senior for bringing me yam cha at taiping....^^though i nvr mention anything about taiping in this post. hahha....

不值得

你在简讯问我，‘是不是还不想见到我’，我回了你，‘哈哈，你想太多了！’
但说真的，我没有很想和你出去，所以都一直在找借口推掉约会，还放过你飞机~你为了约会拿offday，我却在约会前几天放你飞机~对不起~
也许，下一次有机会我就要诚实告诉你，‘我已经有喜欢的人了，我们就不要浪费大家的时间吧~’我对你来说还不值得，真的~

night at the museum 2

Yesterday night suddenly received nic's sms asking for yam cha, well, i juz said 'yes' as long time din meet up wiv him n sean also....

When i saw him only he told me dat:'ei, we go for movie lo'......then i said;'oklo..'....n we decided to watch 'Night At The Museum 2'...Our ticket is 12.45am...so we hang out at starbucks to hav some snack first since we still hav about half an hour....and chit-chating lo.....

Finally, we hav waited till the time...wow, long time dun hav late night movie wiv my frens edi....well, as usual, commercial advertisement for about 15 minutes.....i almost fall asleep edi.......About 1 a.m. only the movie start.....

The movie end at 2.42am.......Gosh!!!!!i sleep late again~~~=.=

Honestly, i step out the cinema wiv lots of disappointment........y??

Becoz the movie is SUX!!!!!!!!!so many LAME dialouge......seriously wasting time!!!some parts is amusing no doubt, but i got no idea y others their 'laughing point' can be such low..i dun think it's funny by the way....they juz can laugh throughout the movie.....well, maybe this movie is sell their 'EFFECT' ba i would like to say.....the graphic n sound effect are gd....story line so so....others i got no idea wad to comment about....totally disappointed~~~~~

Hehe, another few hours i'm off to perak n penang edi, so wont be on9 for few days......is not going for trip, but send my grandpa to penang for heart operation....finger crossed he will be fine...^^

high heels

Today, i was challenging myself for wearing high heels to shop the beauty fair n go to work....conclusion, it's so damn torturing, think no longer will wear high heels to work again!!

I remember my fren told me b4, the moment when a GIRL turn into LADY, is the moment when the girl start loving high heels n start wearing it...

No doubt i luv high heels a lot as it can lengthening ur legs (so that the ratio of ur upper part body n lower part body will look perfect) n makes u look more professional, elegance, n femine....but do you know how much a girl need to pay when wearing high heels? of coz in terms of money n health....

Well, today finally i hav decided to wear the black high heels to work. First, went to beauty fair, shop about 2 hours more....ok, start feeling discomfort after long walk in the tunnel....lunch, ok, rest a while....then, start my work......HELL, dat's the story start. Start feeling pain whenever i go toilet, n when go for dinner at avenue k, my legs like going to break while walking...after back from dinner, greeting session hav to stand for one hour, i curi-curi take off one of it n rest when there is no customer pass by my counter....at night, walau, pain till cannot tahan, walk also abit cacat look n when going back, i hav to borrow a pair of flat slipper from nancy, thank God i manage to walk in a proper way wiv the flat one....

Maybe some of u curious., reli dat pain mou??!!errr....maybe i'm not used to it, and my heels is rather thin, so increase the force per area, n walk on those hard floor, the pressure reli pushing me to death...well, my heels about 2 and a half inchs...for me is a big challange for wearing it up to 12 hours....

~ya, u c, no doubt wearing high heels can be sexy....

~seductive, femine and wild.......

~also, professional and elegance....

BUT!!BUT!!!, it's super duper pain when the heels getting higher n thinner.....well, think dat i shud practise more walking with high heels edi....

Ever wonder the history of high heels? well, i try to google it and there is lots of version, i got no idea which one to be identified as the correct one....haha...so if u all interested in high heels, haha, google it.....

Even now, still pain.......well, tml will be wearing a rather flat one to work.....tata...^^

Rest n pamper myself....^^

Finally i hav back again...sorry for the lack update as i was busying working for the past 3 days...N it's reli tiring....i'm so happy finally today i can rest up to friday...then sat start working again.....

Well, shud hav pamper myself for this precious 3 days as i was doing ntg that is reli gd to myself during working days, but keeps on harming my skin for putting heavy make up on my face...of coz, i'm selling cosmetic, full make up is a must....

So wad i shall do during these 3 days?? well, i hav planed to:-




1. Do facial mask, coz long hour wearing make up reli harm my skin....fully utilise the mask that i hav bought....







2. Practise yoga....u know y?i hav gain weight seriously...physically, i reli hav becum 'fat' especially my butt, hip, arm, even my waist....i got no idea whether is the side effect of the contraceptive pill or wad. Ya, i hav taken it for 2 months, dun think will continue again le...shud hav use another method to get a normal menstrual flow....aiks, this freak me out super lot....coz when i din get my menses, i look very charn, skin turns out badly wiv all the break outs....so if i nvr get my menses, no matter how expensive the skin k product i use or how precious the supplement i ate, it's all helpless....urgh!!!!





Hehe, and finally i hav get myself this ZA Deep Hydrating Gel....this product got lots of compliment from the users, i get it to know from forum n my frens who r using this. This can use as sleeping mask as well, how? Well, apply a lil bit more n thicker on ur entire face except eye area n go get urself a gd night sleep....The next morning when u wake up, u will realize ur skin is boosting wiv moisture n look radiance glow, n ur skin feel supplied when u touch it, coz it has get enough drink wad, haha..... reli super gd....*thumb up*, i hav tried...:p





Haha, dat's all for today, i wana go back to my drama le....hehhe.....^^ciaoz~~

i'm back!!!

Finally, finally, back to my own sweet home.....well, kinda miss kt though...

Haha, yesterday once i reached home, unpack few of my things, then i outing wiv chi ling le...haha, went midvalley.....outing juz for 2 and a half like dat but seems like out for very long..bought somethings...n accompany ah moi buy her mother's day present...then suddenly got the urge to find my frens in setapak...coz they juz move der...so call them up, n they also ask me cum over their new place....

So after finish our shopping session, went to setapak kacau them...hahha....the house is very very big, kira fully furnished, juz lack of washing machine....so 1.5 k is reasonable i think, coz seriously big...then play wiv the kayu, coz they r fixing a cupboard, n i also kepoh a while jiang...ahahha...after that, hav dinner wiv them n bought my favourite tong shui.....

So fast, we r going to lead a new life soon...time is too fast for us to adapt everything....while missing our previous life, we hav reach another phase of life where we need to adapt it all over again....

For me, when i was newly to uni, first time live outside, i mean hostel....wad i need to learn is used to malay fd, used to cold water bathing even in big cold day, i think dat's all ba....next year in bangi, i gotta learn more as no longer living hostel life...well, looking forward to that...life is always adventurous n dynamic......live to the max!!^^

Goodbye~

Today is the second last day for me to 'conquer' this room in KT. After tml, i no longer can live here.....abit sad actually....

Paint my first year uni life here...

I hav met with lots of people...

Of coz, no doubt, after tml, there must be someone, somebody and something i'll miss.....

After tml, no longer attending those lame activities to gain merit,

After tml, no longer 12.30pm cafe, 7.30pm cafe with coursemates n frens,

After tml, no longer kacau-ing frens in their room when i'm bored,

After tml, no longer chit-chating wiv frens after bump into them accidentally,

After tml, no longer yam-cha session wiv frens in cafe,

After tml, no longer cafe food, eventhough it sucks sometimes, however, there is some improvement lately...

After tml, no longer late night badminton wiv u guys at surau der,

After tml, no longer ping pong in DSG,

After tml, no longer piano session in DSG too,

After tml, no longer pillow talk wiv my roommate,

After tml, no longer walk here n there passing movie from frens,

After tml, no longer titiwangsa-walk with coursemates,

After tml, no longer things that i was used to do for my entire first year...

I will miss it badly i know.......

Goodbye KT,

Goodbye my first year hostel life,

Goodbye to all my frens,

SHIT~i hate saying goodbye~~~~:(

*there seem the end of the story i think....(hidden meaning)....Bye~

A letter to God

Dear God,

I believe in you, n i know U know me well than myself....
U know wad i need the most n etc....
So, i hav decided to let U to decide for me, the ending of the story....
Regardless wad the result will be, i would not regret...(am i?i doubt...)
I thought i would be strong for this, however, i'm not overall....
sorry for being a coward...
I feel helpless....:(

In a nutshell, i'm not happy after all......not because of anyone, but becoz of myself, the sensitivity within me.......

So near yet so far is all wad i can say....


yours sincerely,
~mel~

剩两张~

终于，还剩个两张paper。有一张满heavy的，但还有六天的时间让我慢慢读。
好期待考完试的那一天。突然觉得好多东西要做酱！
哈哈，其实已经在脑海里计划了。
考完试第一件事，去shopping，败家一下酱~
要为保养品进货，还在考虑到底要转什么牌子，
看了论坛，感觉上The Face Shop好像很不错。
还是继续Kose呢?
要回太平，好久都没回那里了~
要努力工作~

生活好像很乏味酱~~=.=

今天天气很好~

今天天气很好，
天蓝得很透彻，
阳光很和煦，
白色的云朵并列而排，
鸟语花香。
只是还是有一点点热。。。
感觉很夏天~
那种闷热，干燥到你不想做任何东西，
只想爽爽就去冲凉，
不然就趴在床编织一个夏天的故事~


想不傍晚到titiwangsa lake garden跑步一定很赞。。。^^
阳光一样和煦，但就会少了那躁人的闷热~

好想让自己放个长假，
想到郊外来个徒步，
jungle trekking也不错。
又想到海边或瀑布感受一下那沁人心脾的大自然。

好期待考完final的那一天，
虽然今天才第一天。。。
想和姐妹们走街，
想疯狂购物，
想赚钱，
想回家乡。。。

again, i miss every single little things that i have missed so long.....

Angel

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

missing my high school frens~~~

well, i supposed studying by right~~~but human tends to get 'sien' when doing something for quite a period of time.....thus, i click here n der, finally i hav reach kelly's blog....viewed back all our memorable photos during f6 n after f6....how fantastic was it~~high school life always sweet~~

let's the photos becum the narrator~~

~during gotong-royong...(upper from left: me, see pey, mei sing; bottom from left: eve, kelly n chin chin)miss u girls a lot eh~~~

~me, kelly, eve n chin chin......if not mistaken, that day we were arranging our seat for stpm in hall.....after that was our cam-whore session...haha...ya, behind dat is my school building, awesome right??u would hardly to c a school wiv this type of architecture....St. John's Institution.

~Hari Anugerah...Candidates who did well in public exam n school exam were attending to receive award. (upper from left: kelly, eve, lai mei; bottom from left: siao huey n i)

~hehe, after receiving award....we went to JJ at cheras sing k n celebrate chin chin's birthday as well......eve, kelly n i.....

~the day we get our stpm result...opps, the sequence is wrong...haha....terbalik wiv the above one, pai se ya.....so happy to meet my girls n school teachers again...me, kelly, chin chin, see pey, eve n mei sing.....i miss them badly....

~after got our result, me, kelly, sean, chai, n jeff went to pavilion n spend our whole day der...^^

was camwhoring in washroom.......hahha.....aiks, miss my long hair tim~~

~sean, jeff, chai, me n kelly.....we were one gang...but seldom meet up recently as each of us bz wiv our own stuff....wad a waste...reli reli wish to hav a trip wiv them....n dear all, i miss our genting trip, remember??i was thinking it back last night, seriously.......

~n this is the recent one, i also got post it in my blog...it was last year dec.....2 days b4 christmas...hahha....me, kelly, shiuan n li jia~~~

~me n kelly dear.....

~kelly, shiuan n i.....

Memories juz flash back in a sudden silently.....

i miss them a lot...

n i do miss my long hair.......ok, keep it long since now~~~

ganbatte to all of them...those who r having exam, working n etc....best of luck in ur future.....

luv u guys~~~muackss~^^